Expats dating Indonesian girls are numerous, and many will find that though certain aspects of their relationships are much easier than with a western girl, there are also some difficulties that men need to take seriously if they want to be successful. I listed the 4 main hardships expats have to overcome when dating an Indonesian girlfriend:

Money: Dealing with the gap in revenues between you and your Indonesian girlfriend is not an easy task. It may not be a problem at the beginning, but soon, some issues will appear: Who needs to pay for the restaurant? For the plane ticket to Bali when you go on holidays? How do you arrange her coming to your home country? Should you help her when she or a member of her family gets sick, and to what extent?The situation faced by many expats is that they don't mind paying, because they understand that the girl cannot afford some expenses that are clearly part of the "expat lifestyle". However, they do not want to be considered as cash cows or walking ATMs. The guy may also wonder if the girl is "interested", meaning that as soon as the money flow stops, the girl will walk away without any regrets.

To reach the perfect balance between giving money and being treated with respect, I would recommend you to follow a few rules:
- Pay for goods or services directly. Do not give cash.
- Even for small amounts, do not give the impressions that money isn't important for you. Always show that the act of buying something is a rationale decision, not an impulsive one. Make her understand that you worked hard for the money you earned.
- If she asks you money for her family, take the matter seriously. Visit them, and make sure that everyone is doing its share too, including all the relatives. If you find out she is lying to you, do not tolerate it and walk away from the relationship.
- Depending on her income, make sure you don't pay for everything, everywhere and never get anything in return. You should make her feel as if you paying is not an automatic thing.
- Control yourself: Adapt your lifestyle too and try to spend less than usual. It can be very uncomfortable for a girl to have everything paid for her, without being able to give something back. By going to less expensive restaurants, you give her the opportunity to treat you as well.
- Do not put her down and do not use the fact than she has less money than you to feel you are superior than her.

Religion: This is the second most important topic when dating an Indonesian girl because few of them will make a compromise about it. If you are catholic and no ready to adapt, then you will have some troubles finding an Indonesian girl who suits you. Even if she is not that religious, chances are her family is, and they will not tolerate anything but a Muslim wedding. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, I think you need to convince your girlfriend that the best you can do is "fake" the conversion to become Muslim in order to look good in front of her family, but keep your own religion without telling people except her. If you are not ready to do that, and if she doesn't understand it as well, then you should find a Christian or Hindu girl, they make up 10% of the Indonesian people so it's not that hard to find.

Age Gap: The age difference, quite common in expats/Indonesian girls’ couples, is less a problem than one could imagine. Dating older men for an Indonesian girl is not necessarily seen as a bad thing, because older men are deemed more adequate to provide girls with the security they need. Yet, the age difference may also be a difficulty because it adds to the incomprehension between the two partners. When you ask backpackers in Jalan Jaksa about the girls they sleep with, they will often tell you girls who are dating older men. Once again, you will have to be careful to respect her right to be young and to party/go out/etc. If you don't give her this freedom, she will take it behind your back anyway.

Cultural Differences: Different conceptions of love, of the role of men/women in a couple, etc..: This topic has often been debated on other websites and it is one of the most interesting when considering your relation with your girlfriend. Working out these differences will teach you a lot of valuable lessons and you will learn to understand another culture which is just as fascinating as yours. The thing you have to understand is: What does your girlfriend mean when she tells you "I love you". I don't believe love is universal. Western Love is a luxury that people can afford only after they've reached a certain level of security. But the "love" of an Indonesian girl is nonetheless quite interesting as well: It involves a lot of respect and expectations that are different. It will probably take you years to see how beautiful your relationship really is. Take the time and explore it!

Money, Religion, Age Gap and Cultural differences, these are the 4 main difficulties most expats have when dating a girl in Indonesia. What do you think about it? Do you see some issues not talked about here? Thanks a lot for commenting!

The photos were taken on Flickr.

201 comments to '' Expats Dating Indonesian Girls: 4 Hardships You Need To Overcome "

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  1. I too worrie about what will with my indo girl at the moment iv been lucky no demands for cash (yet)we dont have big age gap (4years)she has an ok job she seems to be consertive time will tell (from the blk agent)

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  2. The only problem that expats getting close to indonesian girls, is they toooo worried the girls just want their money....Cmon we have money to

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  3. Regarding the previous comment: I understand that you (being an indonesian woman) try to defend indonesian girls saying that we (the expats) are the ones that have a problem when thinking that most part of indo girls want our money. Well... if we leave aside theory and get into practical terms... expats are not crazy when saying that. It's true: only a low quantity of indo girls have common sense in this matter; the rest... try to get as much as possible (regarding money) from the expat. You can take this or not :) But that's the way it is... Cheers :)

    P.S.: I donn't want to be annoying. Just want to leave this advise here for newcomers at Jakarta... (don't say you were not advised)

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  4. Who's fooling who??

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  5. Ok, for me as an Indonesian woman that is -carrier minded-independent-well educated,and have the money (wait, i bought my own house, car, etc) lol... is also a bit "tricky" when it comes to money when have relationship with the expat.

    I remember my friend once complaining to me about why her ex.indo woman he dated, in some (many) occasion ask somebody/her girlfriend/friends,etc to come over join their meal/dinner..but she doesn't offer to pay it? while she is the one that invite them!

    What do you guys really expect?..We pay everything for that?

    First he should not be "counting" and being cheap by calculating everything in relationship.

    Second, I think even for us (the-independent-carrier-woman) who have the money, is not all about the money it selves!..it can be more as the "proudly" to showing & knowing how "generous" you are with us (including to our friends,etc).
    So offering to pay for that, might just make the expat guy looses his "face" & sympathy from her friends!...Are you really want to get stamped as a cheap stingy bf? LOL..

    I told my friend, in those case, she might not did 100% wrong,she just need to talk about it!...
    My personal thought if i were her, I may just ask my(expat)partner, if he mind about it or not.

    If does, it's like I would rather pay everything behind just to save his "face" (occasionally = more like means MY face! that I don't date the wrong stingy-cheap-guy-that is careless! It would be more embarrassing...how a good girl ended up dating a lame bf. LOL-sorry to say that!).

    So I might be nice and let him pay in front of my friends/colleague..(even though we settled up the billing later!) hahaha


    But then..again...is that what you guys really want us to do??? split the bill?

    Shouldn't you be more felt needed and would be happily to pay for the relationship you both shares?


    Anybody answer, please?... (Of course for girls, no matter how much money we have, it's always more flattering to let the guy pay for us!..belive me, we love that. LOL

    Thank u.

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    1. Elle.. I think the problem is not the occasional friend coming for dinner or drinks.. It's the kind of girl who just uses the guy for his money and treat him like an free atm, invite 5 friends out every time and expect him to pay.. Of course this type of girl is a cheap gold digger and the guy is usually love starved stupid expat..probably first time he got attention from a girl.. So both deserve each other.

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  6. I don't know if I speak for all mean, but to answer you Elle, I don't ask my girlfriend to slit the bill, but I really appreciate when she offers to pay, even simply by grabbing her wallet. Then I tell her that it's not necessary, and everyone is happy... What I hate is when I have a feeling that for the girl, it is natural that I should pay, and that she doesn't have to worry about that.

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  7. This issue about religion,indonesian girl, they will not denounce their religion? What the odd of that to happen(denounce their religion to follow their man)?

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  8. I am the 2nd previous anonymous agree with elle said, also di maggio. But this topic is a general problem in a relationship. Not only for dating Indonesian girls. Not so important thing to talk about. Better we comment about yummy street food in Jakarta...

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  9. hi guys blk agent here" i feel indo are some of the best well meaning women in asia iv dated thai flipina chinese and i can say iv never felt so much warmth from a womenin my life i will be doing my best to marry her this time next year but guys/girls i do need your help i need info on getting visa for my women to come to my homeland uk any tips to help with that pls from ****blk agent

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  10. It is natural for me to pay for dinner or trips or things while we are together, even though my gf has a job and comes from a well-to-do (well enough) family. The gap in income is just so vast. What do ten dollars for a small meal matter? However, I appreciate it when she asks if I mind if her friends join, or that she never asks for any other money. At the same time I would expect to help if there were medical bills or other issues relating to herself or family. Peter

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  11. LOL invited other female friends and expect BF to pay big LOL..
    been living abroad I may bit change and totally disagree. Even thou,I still expect my bule bf pay most (not all) of our date but bring other friends and expect him to pay seems so much...
    But anyway some expats/bule here also too much they feel superior and use money as their GOD well most of them are atheist rite? haha so money is their God.

    I remember one bule let me down and then asked my bank account number to compensate and I was like "wtf"

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  12. I thought that's what expats wants when they come to Jakarta: screw the girls. They have money, buy the girls what they want. No need for the girl to be able to speak English. And there are lots of girls that fulfills their needs. They don't want relationships. The guys wants sex and feel handsome despite of the viagras he takes, the girls wants money. So what's the big deal?

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  13. am dating an indonesian girl and i think all your points are invalid.
    she is the best I ever had.

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  14. i agree with Elle so many expats think of woman as nothing, as there on the big wages and usually have there real lives in there home country.....living in a fantasy world.....i believe that socioeconomic status plays a huge part which go's both ways.....and guys if u want to meet a nice respectable Indonesian woman all you have to do is take your time.....look around....dont sleep with hookers and there for have self respect and i assure you that there are so many good respectful woman in Jakarta it truly an amazing place!!!! good things will come to those who wait.....good luck and goodbye......Ryan.....

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  15. "2 dollar mistaaa me love you long time..." - that kind of english?

    Elle - stop embarrassing indo women!
    Believe you me, not all indo gals are like that!!!

    Some of us like to pay for the bill, just because we can ;)

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  16. FYI - many (not most) girls in Jakarta will treat their BF/hubby as a walking ATM.
    Ask any high class (looking) indo guy, does he pay for his GF credit card? the answer probably, YES!

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  17. Loser expats!! if they were any good women in their own countries would have grapped them long time ago. Remeber this indo-girls: you'll be getting only the worst of Westerners' trash. Even if you get married to them and move to their countries, you'll be moving into racist societies ( vs you being not white and most likely a Muslim too ! Becareful..these Wstrns are as racist as fu*k. You'll see that as soon as you get older and loose your looks. Your kids are going to suffer, too ( won't be accepted in their societies ). So think twice before committing to a Wstrn expat.

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  18. Looser is a looser!! period.
    If you giving away something and still thinking or count about it=your given is not sincere.
    Do you also want to think about your (pardon me) *waste* once you drop it off to the toilet???
    LOL.

    If so, next time do me a favor... don't give, don't pay dinner, be a looser. LOL. Hypocrite.

    Let it go, hands above always better than below. Be happy when you are the one that been blessed with more (money) so u can give more. Just don't be fooled.

    For they who agree with me, thank you.

    For @anonymous (on 2nd dec) that saying "Stop embarrassing indo women"= u don't get the big picture don't you? sorry can't help to flame back.

    No matter what the ethnics background: Date is a date, woman expect man to be a gentleman on a date - we will appreciate that.

    Commonsense is commonsense. Use brain, if someone ask for money = it's a big No No.

    Cheers everyone :-)

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  19. Elle--
    you ARE embarassing. Your english is horrible and your mindset is materialistic. Hopefully you do not represent indonesian women as a whole.

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  20. sometimes, not always, everyone has an agenda. yes, i see western men (the trash of the west as someone said), and its sad. funny thing is ... most of it is bullshit in the west or out east there. so if i see a westie in asia i should interpret as western trash? and if i see an asian in the west, should i assume that western trash came and brought easterner to save them?

    we're all people. i'm american. i'm not into american mindset. lots of great things here that the east doesnt have like air conditioning and sanitary living conditions in most places. but the east has those honies that you cant find here in american where almost everything has a euro-german deritive of a slanty nose and squished faces. eastern women are truly beautiful and they have more respect for the elderly. here in america, family doesnt exist. it is merely a waiting station to estrangement, selfishness and individualism. look, we all have our prejudices. mine happens to be towards most of humanity regardless of natural origin, or skin color. i, too, would wanna tag anyone who comes into my impoverished country of toil and struggle if they were flaunting their superior dollar. yeah, so ... the key is respect. mutual respect and humility. like i said, we all have our prejudices. if they make life more easy or lighten the baggage we've been collecting and carrying since childhood, God/Allah/Jehovah bless the hater. Otherwise, you get what u give. and when what u give is not returned in some other token of human kindness at a similar measure, take it back and give it to another. that goes for the westie who gives money in lieu of love, as well as the Indo chick who gives her body in lieu of love. The thing is ... if you have an indo girl who is giving you anything other than an STD, be grateful. her body may be in addition to her love as well as time. but theres no excuse for the loveless devotion of the more money-minded westie. in the end you both guard your hearts and both want love, right? maybe im wrong then.

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  21. But we are talking about ex-pats and hardships. just count the hardships the expat came from in order to be where he or she is now. big boys dont cry. they squeeze the injury and taste their own blood. ALIVE!!!! and get on with it. good or bad - its all gooooood. hahaha

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  22. You know guys and gals, I think you are both right and wrong ... just that you are talking about different kinds of types - indo women and expat guys.

    I have lots of indo women friends whom eventually become very disappointed and disillusioned - they end up with the expat trash. OTOH, some of my expat mates curse and swear that their indo gf's are nothing more than 'whoring cows' (not my words).

    Summary? Good, decent, classy and considerate folks exist regardless of ethnicity, origin or gender. Sure there are differences in culture, etc. But guess what, that is human nature. There will always be trash expats, just as likely as trash indo men, likewise the analogy can be applied to the women.

    Cheers!

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  23. @ ELLE: just curious, do u live in bali? :)

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  24. I'm an expat here, and even though I find a lot of the local girls attractive I will never let myself be used by anyone.

    Western girls are much better when it comes to being in a relationship.

    Sure fuck the occasional Indonesian girl when you can (but keep an eye on your wallets)... just don't be stupid and get involved with one.

    Next thing you'll be converting to Islam, and be paying out their family and friends for the rest of your life. Now who's the bitch?

    I'm happy with my white european girlfriend, at least she pays for herself and we never fight about cultural issues.

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  25. im an asian expat my ex gf was an indonesian she lives a rather comfortable standard of living so as a man of means i only feel its right to do the gentleman thing and pick up the tabs on outings and what not. Doing so will not guarantee you happiness and a long lasting relationship because at the end of the day she's still a slut who cheats on you with other caucasian expats as soon as your away on a business trip! i know i went off topic im just venting! Now im dating another indonesian who doesnt speak english that well but at least she's easy on the eyes.

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  26. Many, you are too harsh on your words and probably narrow minded too.
    "Sure fuck the occasional Indonesian girl when you can (but keep an eye on your wallets)... " ??
    really? not all of Indo girls are "those kinda girl" I hope you will realise that one day soon.

    Here is my suggestion for all the expats who wants to try a relationship with indo girl (actually it applies to all, not only expat-asian), dont sleep with her on the first date!
    Make sure that she is not a "working girl", have a proper date, get to know each other first. Ugh, why am I even saying all these when everyone already knows the rules...

    And for those who are just looking for a physical relationship, then you have the responsibility to "pay"!

    To Manny ; please dont confuse people with your statement.

    its either you look for a good girl or you look for a prostitute!
    your choice, really.

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  27. you guys are fools. Women everywhere are the same, they love money. Who doesn't? Most guys are afraid to say no for not paying for something or simply just afraid their women will leave them if they wont spend the mullahs. I'm indonesian and i consider myself very well off. i worked hard for what i hv that i dont mind flashing US$7000 for that bottega jacket in front of my girl and I never bought her, or the rest of the girls i used to go out with, anything more expensive than a freakin cellphone for her birthday present. For you women just know that if a guy can spoil you with money chances are he can do that to other girls. At the end, who doesnt love money? u just gotta play it right. peace

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  28. you expats think that you can make indonesian women fall in love with you easily? handsome, rich, mr right? wake up dude!

    you're just loser in your own country (never got a date), then with your 'bule' look and dollar, you can get easy dates in jakarta, bali, whatever village you're visiting?

    maybe you spent too much time watching hollywood movies

    hardships? relationship always has its hardship

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  29. To all who have left a comment, may I say this as an expat married to an Indonesian woman for 12 years. Of course there are hardships in cultural differences, what do you expect when looking at each others backgrounds ? I have found Indonesian families to be exceedingly close as opposed to Western families whose children have left home and gone as soon as they are able. The question of who should pay and for what seem to me to be irrelevant. Do any of you want a foreign partner, male or female, for love or merely as window dressing to show off to your friends ? The support I have received from my wifes family and relatives was particularly humbling not long ago when I was hospitalized for a short time. There was not enough room in the hospital for them all to come and visit me. Would this happen in my own country ? Never. Thank-you Indonesia for the best people I have been fortunate enough to live among
    Alex

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  30. I'having serious relationship with palembang girl for 3 years..im became a bread winner for whole his family in Palembang, buying house, buying car, sending money every month..im trust of his mouth watering promise willing to married me...so poor it's ended nightmare to me as she fooling me after sucked my money..by saying good bye...oo la la 99 percent indon girls are suck...as i do my own researh..so ashamed yah

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  31. Indonesian girls and their culture simply disgust me. They would do anything to milk as much cash as possible out of you. All these bullshit stories with "sick parents need money for medication" after the first date and "I love you" SMSing after meeting you for an hour for the first time. And paper-cutting their wrists to show you that they are so miserable and suicidal thus trying to get you to buy them things and be sort of "the shiny beacon" for them while they exploit it and cash out. I've seen girls doing this to me and my friends and it's the same pack of trick every time. They all do it. Well, 99.99% of them. Especially in Jakarta. And even when they do trick you into marrying them they would refuse to denounce their primitive religion and want YOU, a man who gives them everything to convert?! C'mon!!!
    You want a real relationship with an Asian woman? Get the heck out of Indonesia, go to Singapore/HK/Taiwan/or any other well-off Asian country and find a girl of the same statue and social class as you are. Celebrities marry celebrities, royalty marry royalty, millionaires marry millionaires for a reason: both parties can not exploit each other for material gain and therefore they have no motive to be together except for being in love. Indogirls: we are on to you and your little tricks are getting pretty old!..

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  32. "Indonesian girls and their culture simply disgust me."
    oh dear. those really are strong words you're using!

    how about packing your bags and never return again to this "disgusting" place? we're not going to miss you.
    ah, yes. you mentioned singapore et al. bye then. good luck and good riddance.

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  33. Hmmm expats huh? Most of us think that you all are just a bunch of people who are full of yourself. You prance around like you're the shit.. And annoy the hell out of us. You think because you get paid by dollars, any indo girls would flock around you? Don't get too full of yourself jackass. Your overconfidence disgust us.. Your self-centered manner make most of you look like fucking idiots. I guess if you've been dating some maids (like most of you bules do) then yeah prepare to get your bank account sucked dry you fucktards. Most of you have such low taste in women it is not even funny.. Only those who are desperate date expats.. Don't get your hopes up too high with even just the average girls today assholes.

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  34. it's funny how people whine like a bunch of kids! relationships should be based on mutual interest, trust and common sense!!! one of my exes would prefer to shoot himself rather than let me pick up the bill or even split it. with my current bf i always split bills or alternate paying for things. and guess what, i'm more comfortable with the latter than the former. most expats in jakarta are so full of themselves, it takes a ballsy lady to take them down a peg or two!!!

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  35. Perhaps it is important for expat to know the culture difference between Indonesia and their own. I believe its already mentioned by someone else but I think I need to say it again.

    Night partying is not acceptable practice for most Indonesian. Which mean, if you want to find a girl who will seriously have a relationship with you then you will never find them in those places.

    The 2nd thing is, sex before married is absolutely a big no for Indonesian good girl.

    So if you want to have some real relation with Indonesian girl, do not pestering them with such request. When you find someone who give it to you easily, then do not expect too much. In the other hand be considerate with those who doesn't want to do it but finally agree to do it because they really love you. Since breaking up would like a huge disaster for them, for they give you something that is sacred for them.

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  36. There's a lot of stereotyping in the comments here. All expats do this, all Indo girls do that. That just shows ignorance by those posting the comments. As an expat I came here to work, not screw around and not get into a relationship. I have a good one already. I've had some interest from Indonesian girls but I've made sure they know my situation and (hopefully) kept them as friends. From what I've seen in two years there are all types of people here, male and female, who are good, bad, nice, unpleasant, snobs (mainly the rich ones), friendly, open, closed etc. etc., the same as anywhere else in the world. The guy three posts earlier obviously thinks all expats are the same...it's lucky that all the Indonesians I'm happy to call friends are not like him. Wake up chum and broaden your horizons...we are not all the same.

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  37. Does anyone know who the lovely LADY in the photo is? I like to use her for a photo shoot.

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  38. The photos were taken on Flickr.
    Kimono Girl: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sektordua/
    Wedding Girl: http://www.flickr.com/people/docbudie/

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  39. Quality, is all I can say... Frackin hillarious. Here's to all the sponge like Asian Pony boys still living with their parents past the age of 30 sponging daddies money to 'flatter' themselves. Whilst ensuring they assert themselves as superior breeds amongst those of the tortured peasant realm, those who are lacking a BMW or some flashy faggy branded piece worth a 30 year pay check, and here's to all the girls who are a waiting for their ever elusive Richard Gere's to come save them from their petite little toils and hardships. (not necessarily exclusive to Indo mind you). Bit over the top, but so so real and something I can't deny.

    But yep, to all the bule guys complaining about the injustices of 'money ho' types asking for a lady drink or two... (present in all societies) fuck man, get a real woman why don't you. Sounds like you're playing with teenage kiddies in the playground or chicks down in Manga Besar who's job it is to use you as you would use them in return.. symbiotic relationship and all that jazz. You'd think with your so called experience with woman, (usually learnt in the school yard) this would have directed you other wise...

    But yep it's undeniable. The culture here is massively different. yet condescending as it may sound, I't doesn't take an anthropologist or psychologist to realize the why of it all... If you don't like it... don't deal wid it... Try your hand at finding a western woman... The chances are you are probably shit at that too.

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  40. I would never be able to have serious relationship with an asian girl because the gap between us would be too big .
    It took us(the western world)generations to create a basis of equality between the genders and I quite appreciate the fact that a woman can do and be what she wants to .If a western woman tells me that she likes me,I know that it wont be because of my money(ok,there are exceptions...).
    I also dont have to have discussions for hours when stating a comment like:"I dont belive in marriage"or "I have no religion".I already tried to make an indonesian girl understand things like that,but I never managed .
    Things that are so obvious amongst westerners can become so difficult .
    Most of the asian women are just looking for someone who cares for them and for that they will treat you like a king in reverse .
    My image of a good relationship goes beyond that !

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  41. Hi guys .... I am Indonesian woman, Ummm .... I work in an environment that most Americans, Australia and Germany. Well I was not too interested at them even though they were handsome. Tips from me if you want to have a relationship with the Indonesian woman, do not find a indonesian women at night club / cafe because I can assure you , they only want your money (we Indonesian people call it 'matre') . Remember that ...

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  42. I am new in Indonesia, and also beginning a new relationship with an Indo chic. i gatta say, i dated an indo chic before, but that was in hongkong, and she was really cool---and boy was she hot!!

    ...anyway, back to the subject at hand. you guys r really creeping me out. Especially considering i just spent millions of rupiah today 'apeasing her & her friends' at a bar...they kept on ordering expensive drinks knowing the foreigner will pay for them.

    are things really that bad over here? why do people always have to screw each other? cant people move past the race & cultural thing and just get along?

    come on!!!!

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    1. first rule: don't expect to find good Indonesian girl in a club.. chances are probably less than 1%.

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  43. Well, I will said to all expart in indonesia.
    If you don't want to spend some money and only want sex for free then go back to your country . take it easy, and not all indonesian women are the same. and not only foreigners can spend money in indonesia. local man can spend money too.
    Am I Right

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    1. Expat bule: when you are in Indonesia, just remember that NOT all Indo women are fascinated by bule's money....but ALL fascinated and cheeting chicks and gold diggers here , are Indonesian women, of course...

      Delete
    2. The you all should read this:
      http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=25737
      They said with $40 dinner date, we, Indonesian girl, would spread our legs.
      Booyah, my shoes were more expensive than that.

      Delete
  44. NO NEED TO HAVE BIG HEAD IF YOU HAVE MONEY

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  45. Every kind/race/nation/country of people have their own good and bad 'fruit'. Can't just stereotype any woman / any expats like that. When ur old enough to date, aren't u also old enough to see which men / women is good or not for you? And it also depends on ur objective in seeking expats/women/partner also. What u seek, is what u get usually. Cheers!

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  46. Wow, is sad that most of the talk here is either MONEY or hatred towards EXPATS. On the subject of EXPATS being sombong...well my friend, it's hard not to be happy and confident and full of life when you come from a society that is happy and confident and full of life. Most expats come from countries that are very developed and not everything in their culture is absolute sh*t like here in Jakarta. The food, the health care, the transportation, the LAW, the police, the government, the AIR. So please pardon us expats for being a bit sombong and very happy to be here, for if it was not for how easy it is to land a smoking hot career woman as your GF (there is ZERO competition from Indo dudes), we would not be here...even for the job in gas and oil.

    As far as religion goes, if you are religious and a Christian you will know that you cannot be "Muslim for a day" and marry a Muslim woman because the very fact that you convert to Islam for a day means you have denied Christ as the Savior and now he will deny you before his father. Best to get married in Singapore or find a Batak Christian (I would not recommend a Indo Chinese).

    It's good to be me!

    The King of Jakarta

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    Replies
    1. Dear, dear me, what's wrong with an indo chinese girl? I am an indo chinese women who has been married to a western man for 17 years. Needless to say, we are blisfully happy in our marriage. BTW: Are you a Batak girl or guy? Are you promoting your kind of race?. So sad in doing so you feel the need to put down one race.

      Delete
    2. NOTHING WRONG being a Indo-Chinese: maybe they not so good on the kasur....for sure they good in the dapur. If you marry a Batak woman, you get a free headset or earplugs....they yell your ears of when they talk, even when in a good mood.

      Delete
  47. to Anonymous on Sept 4, 2011 (or for those who think it matters):

    Bless. Although, I have to say, you would still go through something similar (i.e. have your pockets cleaned out) had you been Indonesian and wealthy and/or famous. Indo girls do tend to be a bit gang-y and parade their boyfriends around, especially when the boyfriend is socially considered a novelty.

    The Indo chic that you dated in HK might've been 'a good one': if money was your concern, she/her family would either have enough of it to enable her to live in HK (only a small minority of girls can manage to live a different country for financial reasons) or she's got enough sense/pride to not let you pay.


    I have dated western men in their home ground before, and the reason why things didn't work out with them (as opposed to 'caucasians' as a race class in general) were because (1) we differed too much when it comes to setting and achieving life goals, or (2) the man thinks of himself as a living visa problem-solver. These two are some of my non-negotiables and can quickly turn the dates sour on my side (even if the guy thinks it's great.) Wouldn't consider a repeat date and/or 'relationships' with anyone from any cultural backround (including my own) if I can't find myself enjoying passing the time with him, despite of whoever pays the bill.

    ReplyDelete
  48. i am really sad of what you guys think. and even worse, i feel sad for those indonesian gold digger. i mean, come on, they make it really hard for us, the ones who are not gold digger at all, to actually date expats.
    just a little bit advice, come on guys, you really can't tell a difference between a gold digger and a really nice one?

    -D

    ReplyDelete
  49. Asian women fascination captures western men who allow western women became men. Feminism is not natural by itself but flourishes in Europe, USA and most of the developed countries.

    Sexuality is different in Indonesia and for example USA. But in any way everybody likes sex (if you are not sick). Men like sex and women like sex. More over Jakarta is very famous with its the biggest red-light districts in the world (my city is smaller). And I think that this is because of local indonesian sexuality and poverty. But this is another story to discuss.

    XX century was very hard for indonesian nation and it left its mark on indonesian community.

    I just want to express my experience about Indonesia.
    1) I like indonesian women for their charms and physical attraction
    2) I like the way chinese culture combines with indonesian. And I think this is positive for Indonesia
    3) I like indonesian nature
    4) I like some moments of life styles

    Of cause I can be wrong in the following:
    1) Indonesian people behaviour childish even if they 40 years old. negara anak anak. I cannot say is it good or not. Sometimes (for business) it is not acceptable as well for serious relationship between woman and man
    2)Very a few indonesian people that I met have a aim in life and want something from life (more than expensive blackberry, or good car or nongkrong). It seems like most of the indonesians have no interest to improve theirselves.
    3) What I saw and dislike that are most americans, arab or australian people they behave terrible and local people are patient. Bali looks like a mob of drunk australian teenagers. And it looks disgustingly (like a pigs in a botanic garden). When I see it I become shame of my skin color.
    ------
    First is what I understand is ..if you want to have indonesian gf , you must speak indonesian language well, you must understand culture.

    KL

    ReplyDelete
  50. who make this blog ???

    honestly i agree with this an article and it's true, if you BF cheat by Indonesian Girls is not their fault , and the reason is only one " because " there is many girls an outside who is able to cheat with " and don't look for your status single or being married why expats start cheating in Jakarta, how Indonesian girls look like , sign Indonesian girls cheat , etc, BUT why you guys don't make an article about How the way expats living in Jakarta ???
    when they so proud by him self ??? especially for handsome guy , that expats here in Jakarta is Feel like a KING were so many girls around , and u free to fucked up !!
    after u guys expats try one girl then u look at an other girl also wanna try again , because what ? because an expats though that he has more power in Jakarta , win lot of money, have a white skin of course is nice , so dong being judge that Indonesian girl only want money from you guys ( expats ) maybe because u are part of them because if u smart enough u will get a good girl which is they can love u more what u can do for her !!...as i have Expats Bf but i feel Disgusting to see many girls just wanna fuck and get money !!! sorry you will not find on me !! money is not the most important !!!
    so now i asking u to make an article about an expats who lives in Jakarta feel like A KING

    ReplyDelete
  51. In Jakarta money is very important. For you maybe not important because you have enough. ;-)
    KL

    ReplyDelete
  52. Sound to me the article is about expats who date "ayams" / easy girls.

    If you go the distance & find yourselves a nice lady with a good educational background, preferably studied abroad, have a great successful job & a fat income, broad minded, not zealously affiliated with religion, max 5 years younger than you, then you won't have a problem would you? (Prolly only 2% of the population is like that)

    That is if you're trying to build a committed relationship.
    But if it's just fooling around, then by all means, go with the girls under your par & read the article well.

    ReplyDelete
  53. almost all of u said that we (indonesian girl) just want your (expat) money... hey com on.. we earn money anyway..

    mostly, we want you the most for your treat.. mostly expat are know what woman wants, they can treat us well with kindness and fully understanding..

    we are not extremely hooker anyway.. YM

    ReplyDelete
  54. I recently visited bali for a few days as a competition prize. I had the most incredible time and never wanted to leave. The women I met there seemed so gentle, friendly and kind. They had qualities I seldom see in western woman whose attitudes often frustrate. I have a strong attraction to the traditions of eastern cultures with their understanding of respect and honour in themselves and for eachother.

    It saddens me to read all the comments above. I cannot believe that all indo women can be like that. Was what I saw all a show? I have no problem with getting women, but I have a problem finding those whose lifestyles I respect. I am a christian and I am a virgin. I am looking for someone who, unlike nearly everyone I know, respects themselves and the value of sex. I'm no saint, but I'm really over the materialism of the western world and I'm sad to hear how even the east is being affected.
    I have no idea what the point of my comment is haha, but I thought I'd write what I was thinking.
    Materialism is so infectious. We think something will make us happier whereas we actually have everything we could ever need. Enjoy, love and appreciate this moment right now or you'll always be waiting and working for more.
    - SCK

    ReplyDelete
  55. I think differences culture are very influential. I found a foreign man be "Ge Er" or "Gede Rasa" or "Big Sense " when they arrive in Indonesia. Why? Because a lot of eyes looking at them.
    Not all Indonesian women only want money from foreign men. I feel sad to hear that. Prostitutes obviously want you money. And all women prostitutes in any country to work for money. Also in your country!
    You give money and run out of money because of your own mistakes. Use logic, if you choose a partner. I once went to Lake Toba. It is a beautiful island in North Sumatra. And I have see,almost all the people there have family who are married to foreigners. But they lived happily.
    I heard many sad stories "Bule in jakarta" But I think it's their own mistake ! Although I never been go to a bar, or discotheque etc but "Don't judge Indonesia woman". Think with your brain to find a mate".If you are looking for cigarettes, go to the store of cigarettes. You want to buy gold at the fruit shop? Think!!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. It's so unbelievable reading comments with prejudice. This is the fact i met in my relationship with expat bf. I attended for marriage but instead of marriage he push me for sex (as he said 'open mind'), during our relationship i never ask money or something from him, in fact he ask me money and gave me empty promises, at last he cheat me also!! I never go to club for any men, so i think expat guys should respect the culture and take your time to know the truth about your girls, if you meet girls who only wants your money just find other and you shouldn't do free sex in the name of love or else, and indo girls be smart and watch your steps because not expat guys have money or rich. If u can't find the best, at least the good one. Good luck in your searching.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Well, let me share my line..

    I'm young. Glad to come and touch down at all kind of club here in jkt, for make great time with friends. And I don't know its fortunate or unfortunate if there, I usually meet young expats who straightly come to me and start to chit chat. As I am a mingle person, love to laugh, and never have a negative point of view, I'm cool with that. Because I JUST want to make FRIENDS, I don't have another weird reason! Its very nice to have many friends with different background and pattern.. Enrich self for the experiences of different culture and life-story too..

    But, pity for me (and I'm sure for most good-indonesian girls too),because most of expats feel they are that SUPERIOR, they think they can do anything with us. Hear, after a great time at stadium, ( which I have to REALLY put my eyes on 3 of my Australian friends, because they're really drunk and messed up there, say shit and yelling to all indonesian boys. But thanks god I have my local friends to help, so we all not being killed that night) I drop them by cab and not plan to back to my own home, since one of them, who own the apartment close enough with me, (he's bf, which is one of the list here on "Ten Sexiest Indonesian Woman", and he loves her much, so I got nothing to do with him, if that what you think. And I have bf too at Bandung!) Blast, arrived at aprt, one of his friend started pushing me for SEX, at first I denied friendly,I said slowly, I'm not going into that, and will not interest to. He asked again, and again, and again, and AGAIN! And I kept told him, GOSH I don't want you! And believe me to tell you this, he pull *hardly* my right hand, when my left hand, struggling to grab door for defense his invitation to went to bed-room, after that he even try harder, put me on his right shoulder. *YES! On his right shoulder!* and straightly walk through the bed room. And he said, cmon, we did it in Aussie. I really want to scream to his face, then GO back there to your Aussie, jerk! But, yes, I'm glad I'm a indonesian woman, who will not scream at anybody face to tell shit, unless somebody make me bleeding. For all respect I thanked to my mom who teach me a good manner as a indonesian woman.. So, *fyi, I'm not drunk at all* patiently I said with strong intonation, let me go. I feel bad you treat me like this. And I gave *asking for help* face expression to my other friends who watch and feel guilty for this situation. And my close friend, who own the place, said something with man-to-man-body-language to him and that jerk finally release me. I'm not shocked at all. Shit happens, and I know I'll save there since I have my friend who I'm sure will take care of me, *please don't count his friends* but you think its really nice-friendship-path? Not really, after 3 weeks, that my-close-friend ask me for sex too. Lame.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Well, the point here is, for all indonesian girls who read my comments, don't drop your tears. Since we are charming, young, fun-to-talk, and good-looking, its not a reason we are hookers and need expats-money-machine. And don't worry, I'm still okay. I'm not hurt at all, sist. Woott! We find good boys and bad boys, but for people who have a sentence that we -indonesian girl- want to use expats rudely and suck their money? Oh my.. Back Off. Find a mirror and see how snob you are as a bule and you'll feel sorry for your self. You think we -indo girl- that stupid and will say a billion percent yes for goin to a relationship with you. Big No. There's so many handsome local boys here, who definately have ETHICS. And I proud to say. We are INDONESIAN.


    Ps: I'm sorry for being harsh to choose some unappropriate words, but honestly, I lil bit pissed off when read previous comment about how bad indonesian girl blah blah and because I have my own experience, so I tell the story. Well, I have plenty good foreigner friend too! He's from belgium and he help me with my scar after I hurt myself in accident at bali, he really take care of me during my pain, eventho I just meet for few days, and his friend? Snob, come from belgium too! He told me not to come again to bali, and I'm like what the hell? Bali isn't yours, moroonn! Haa.. Funny world, eh? Just keep be positive. Be good for person who treat you good, the rest? I'm not suggest u too hate them, just keep ur 5 meters distance from them. (Okay, 55 meters)


    Warm Hug!

    LA

    ReplyDelete
  59. Hummm where do we start with all this talk which is mostly about money. It is a difficult balance many expat dont or cant bring partner with them and are living in a country which now makes them look like rich people for the first time ever. Many holiday makers see how rich they look for the first time also and save their hard earnt money for the next trip (Sex tourist). We should all remember that people are just people some fall foul and get hurt but the very honest noble and stable will find the right balance. No one needs to be stupid and waste time with the wrong person. But both need to see the others point of view or forget it. As a friend of mine once said "We are doing what we want to do even if we dont know it" My rules are
    1) Never send money
    2) Don't expect some one poor to buy you meals
    3) If you don't trust the person leave them
    4) Do the same as you would for a person in the same situation in your own Country

    Thats about all from me never forget the real reason why you went to that country. Be care full in all new countries to you the problems are the same just in different levels

    ReplyDelete
  60. I understand the owner of this blog/site is a man, and so most of the articles here are from an expat man's point of view.

    As an expat woman, I wish you would do a few articles from our perspective. Especially this hot topic about dating an Indonesian man. Would be interesting to read.

    ReplyDelete
  61. No worry...Now Bule are all poor..Their economy is damn bad, and now will come to Asia to earn a living.. Time has change..time has change..Bule are no longer superior but rather inferior..

    So Asian must be careful if bule marry you cause they need the jobs..hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  62. I married bule, definitely not for his money. He used my car, we paid our renting place, share bills etc when we lived together. Then worse had happened, we married and he asked me to moved to his country, which I did.
    He didn't have anything - renting and overdraft! Both of us were working BUT I had to pay living with him, like a lodger. For 4 years our marriage, he never giving me a single penny, instead I constantly transferred money to him. Couldn't stand anymore, we separated.
    My life downhill financially sinced I met him.

    I've been such a fool, being a woman whose being a non materialistic one. Really really fool

    ReplyDelete
  63. Wow, just got here a couple of weeks ago.... Some strong opinions. I like people, wherever they're from... Background, class, ethnicity, culture and education. The most appealing trait of all that I have met is modesty. Believe me, I've met the top and the bottom in a lot of walks of life. When I took this job, it was/is the opportunity to see the world from a different angle. Not to bring my baggage or take on someone else's, unnecessarily. Your experiences should guide you to a better path, to avoid people who operate with their own agenda's. Karma will always find a way to even things out even if you don't action it yourself. Bad things happen in life on a personal basis, but I always loved Martin Luther King's "We must learn to live together as brothers, or we must perish together as fools!" When I go out, which is early days, here in Jakarta, I hope to have a good time, but never at the expense of others. I'm sorry for those of you who've had bad experiences who see fit to generalise from them. Life's very complex and we don't all bang our drums to the same rhythm. Or, more to the point, here, if you set your bait in muddy waters, don't be surprised if you can't eat the fish!

    ReplyDelete
  64. I'm an Indonesian woman. I graduated from one of the top universities in the US. I speak proper English. I'm Christian and I would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER be with a man for money. Sorry, but I can make my own money. I will only be with someone who treats me right, respects and loves me. Yes, we do exist.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  65. All of the world had changed a lot. But westerners still never understand fully on aisans bcause they arent open fully to asians and still have typical thinking. aisa is so big and lots of culture different if far apart. westerners always treated all asians are the same lower classes and think themselves are forever better. i have personally encountered minority western expats are really good but majority are liars and very political in work and friendship. Westerners have todays economy status is because they robbed all the asians with their empires. even they married asians, they will end up divorce and tear those real sincere lover asians. Everywhere most westerners go, they try to get one night stand or free sex. Their brain points sex is priority target and not work. I do admit lots of new generation poor family girls which most also are whores, like to dig from foreigners. Thanks to these westerners who educated them to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  66. bule are confident as said before and asians are not confident to say no, so bule get what he wants.. simple not?

    ReplyDelete
  67. It says Take and Give

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  68. i'm LOLing at the comments. looking for rich girls? go to Grand Indonesia mannnn. there are loads of em. you can see whether she got money or not just by looking at her shoes. the higher the heel is, the richer she is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So not true.

      If she wears designer flats/sneakers (better get those brand-spotting skills polished), she's likely to be born rich. If she wears those sky-high heels with red soles, she could be either born rich or a super successful escort.

      Don't judge by appearances. My most expensive pair of shoes are flats, and they could easily cost in the hundreds of £££. Being financially educated, I prefer flats for their lower cost per wear.

      Delete
  69. When you are with an indonesian person you are in a relationship with her and the million other family members who try to get as much money from the bule. They are after your money. No money the relationship goes bust or sour. Thats it.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Not all bule suck. Been dated one before. He is generous. He never let me pay for anything although I offered to do so, and I meant to do. And not all Indonesian women are gold diggers. So, dear Mr Bules...just so you know, my family members never tried to get as much money from the bule. They even taught me to say NO to the financial offer from the bule. There, nobody's perfect. Each has their own flaws and fine points.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I got quite offended when I read the comments above about Indonesian women. As one of them, let me tell you that many of us are well educated, can pay our own bill, fulfill our own needs, and have principal in life.

    Well, I guess I have to say this again: not all Indonesian women are money-sucker, and I also believe not all expats are arrogant-snob. Please don't generalize it all. It's case by case, for God's sake. And for religion matter, if you don't want to convert your faith, then don't date women whose religion is different. It's that easy. It's what we (most of us) do in Indonesia. We don't date someone from different religious background.

    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I think it depends on which girl you date.

    and make sure you mention that your articles are based on your experiences. because to be aware of what kind of lifestyle you have, no wonder you get along with girls who are money oriented.

    remember, things in life happen because you let it happen.

    me

    ReplyDelete
  73. Talking about relationship between culture is not easy !!

    Like my comment before in other article :

    comment and article above is about stereotype , why they think bule like that , indonsian woman like this , if you want marry indonesian have to like this like that and bla bla bla because of they are classifying an experience about a group of people !!! thats the problem relationship between culture (judgment , classifying , stereotype , racism) .

    But if you decided to dating an indonesian girl which's the meaning that is a risk of relationship between culture . and dont ever talk about the problem to much , its only make your mind full of problem and you cant thinking clearly.

    So, my advice :
    Something you can do is
    - cooperate with ur partner in order to ur relation keep working .
    - Respect each other
    - Just positive thinking

    and maybe anyone will give advice in order to relationship keep working ?????

    Peace and love
    Kisses xxx

    ReplyDelete
  74. Date a rich girl or a girl that comes from a high class family. If she has her own money or has grown up in money than she won't be gold digging. Problem solved.

    ReplyDelete
  75. If you read all these posts and you still marry an Indonesian woman, you just stupid IDIOT white guy. If you dislike the way they are, do not marry them, just go back to your country and marry your fatty girls in your country. You should be blessed that Indonesia have lots of pretty woman and they still want to marry you OLD WHITE GUY, yes indeed they after your money because they were from poor family. YOU KNOW THAT!!!!
    Do not talk as if you were innocent, you pay what you get!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Guys , Most indon Girls you meet at the night spots are looking for money . They have no other skills & they have dependents at home like parents to support . Also nightly going out spending without real day time income . They are looking for sugar daddys who is good looking fun & support them financially . If u r willing to become such a person to her . She wont be cheating on you .

    ReplyDelete
  77. add this to hardships dating the girls here are , totally sticked to their BB even when having dinner, check ing every minute twitter and facebook, smoking, cheap tattoo's. they ll date maybe some local guys but hope to get that bule who looks like their favorite Holly wood actor

    ReplyDelete
  78. both side take advantages of each other , fair enough i guess
    if u like the relationship then stay , if not then seek another
    why make big problems out of the tiny ones

    ReplyDelete
  79. I would be surprised if you dont find this kind of issue in a developing country. As many posts before mine have said, it's partly because of poverty. It's not always the case, though. It's partly due to the backward view most of Indonesian women have that men (regardless what their nationality are) should always pay for women.

    I'm an Indonesian woman and I used to split the bill with my British ex-boyfriend. I think this helped us to respect each other.

    ReplyDelete
  80. ah, and if you think dating a rich indonesian girl will sort the problem then ur totally wrong. even the rich girls have this kind of backward mentality that they think, because men got penis, they've got to pay for everything.

    I myself came from a poor family but I understand that I shouldnt use human as a mean. so, women, dont treat your bf like an ATM machine and men, dont treat your gf like a sex toy.

    ReplyDelete
  81. My gf is rich as fuck and never lets me pay for anything. These are the best indo girls...

    ReplyDelete
  82. Even i am a western guy i never felt handsome in Jakarta, and i never feel special. it is just like back home, the slim and ok looking girls look for the handsome guys (imagine what the pretty and sexy girls in jkt are looking for) and the fat ugly girls look for any guy.

    So i never date an Indo girl when i am in Jakarta (most of the year) because they all look for a tall bule or handsome bule

    ReplyDelete
  83. People would not be so angry about it if the blog wasn't true. I think the blogger hits the spot!

    ReplyDelete
  84. I am an Indonesian woman who lives and works abroad. Hence, an expat - not only with privileges but also immunity. I see some truth in this article, but you definitely cannot generalize. After more than a decade living abroad with 'real' privileged life, many of my expat males colleague end up with nice, rich, educated and hot "locals." I also agree with "Elle" the independent, educated, professional woman. It all depend on the girl you're dating, where you meet them and the basis or your so called "relationship."

    Truth be told, that most of the expat men, especially the old, short and stocky, first timer outside their country or little town, blue collar, geeks etc..etc... should be count their blessings as suddenly women not only looked at them, but also want to talk to them!!

    This blog, while there is some truth in it, should be taken as a grain of salt.

    Have fun navigating in Indonesia!

    ReplyDelete
  85. I agree with the above and a lot of comments are in a way rascist. I get that as well as in questions from expat women "so you like Asian girls" which implies with the tone used that all Asian girls are gold diggers. Expats like this forget the west has lots of gold diggers as well and people from some areas can be quite scummy (a minority) but certainly marrying/dating someone way out of your socio-economic class (usually rich man poor woman) is based on some type of financial dependency. Well off Thai women for example go out if there way to pay for you! Indeed it is a sign of "I want you and not money". Obviously if a white expat goes to a bar and ends up with a maid/hooker with no education and very poor what do they expect? Often though if the guy is kind to the girl the girl falls in love and is happy. But she needs cahailS though it's common in Asia that the man pays eg in thailand local men are expected to pay everything as mentioned here for Indonesian men. It's cultural!

    ReplyDelete
  86. Pffff...so many harsh words from both sides. Lets start with mutual respect.
    Not all indo girls are hookers or gold diggers.
    Not all expat are here just to fuck girls and think they are all that.
    If you pick up a LC then pay. And it is not only bule men that get hoockers in the clubs. Plenty of the local indo men go too.
    Like in any other country it is custom for the men to pay for the woman. Special if he earn much more money. So it is not strange for an expat to pick ip the tap as an indo man would do the same. So on this we are not so different.

    So please respect each other...culture religion and choices.

    ReplyDelete
  87. come on guys!!
    i am an indonesian man, i try so hard for my girl / for her love. in any part of life, such as money, religion, ect..ect...
    be a gentlle bule here. you'll take what you've give.
    well,,try to find your girl in villages in indonesia, the girl with tradition culture kept, any of you have 'balls' to do that????
    if you were met your girl at pub, bar or discothique, what kind of girl is that??
    you can find anywhere in around the world the girl like that, you know what i mean, the party girl, with tons of consuming needed, not only in jakarta!!
    be wise brotha!!
    this is Indonesia,, try us..you'll know what the meaning of "senggol bacok"

    ReplyDelete
  88. i can't blame the people who say that local women is gold digger.
    But i think it's not the whole picture of Indonesia women.
    Maybe you have to know them better.
    probably less than one percent of us being gold digger.

    do not generalize all of them only from one point of view

    ReplyDelete
  89. Indonesians men and women need to stop with the comments '' not all of us are gold diggers''. Many of them lack the big picture of this process,they are getting too sensitive on petty things. look to the Malaysia thieves thing, without thinking they start to riot in front of the embassy making Indonesia the laughing stock of the world. No wonder that there are bules looking down on the monkey behavior of us.Do you want to be treated with respect by bules? act sensible;think before you say and with common sense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude, the cultural and education disparity gap in Indonesia is massive.

      There are types who would crowd over a roadside altercation to watch, those who would slow down to watch, those who honk at slowing cars because they do not want to get into a traffic jam while everyone else is watching something pointless, and many other varieties.

      The ones who created the scene belong to the first and second categories. I belong to the third category.

      I hope that sheds a bit of light on your understanding of Indonesians.

      Never generalise.

      Delete
  90. Hi, I'm expat man and want to have sex with expat girl

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  91. all the fuss for some writing..get a life peeps

    ReplyDelete
  92. I know a lot of expats in Indonesia are the poor people in their country, they're here just stay alive because of the cost of living here is much cheaper than in their country, so they're looking for Indonesian women to be worth living in Indonesia!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  93. Woooww Hahahhahaha....
    I cannot believe what I read Lol..
    Well Lemme say this for u all, first I am Indonesian Girl, My bf from America..
    We love each other, he always give me a surprise like a flower and then I try to give him a surprise too but he never ever want that, he says " No need buy me anything boo " !!
    Soo.. I want to says " Not at all Indonesian Girl like that dude ".. Maybe yes 50% like that but I think u meet them at club or bar, many bitch at club or bar try to take all of your money, thats your mistake because u try to sinking at beautiful night life at club or bar in here..

    Soo its mean " Use your brain dont put your lust between you and Indonesian girl "
    U like us because we are beautiful, nice skins, nice eyes, nice hair so choice it carefully with your brain okay..

    I'm carrier woman, I have a good job, I buy anything with my own money!
    Maybe one day u will meet your beautiful Indonesian Angel in here:D :D

    `L

    ReplyDelete
  94. While you guys so bother about the difference, can we just have some fun, enjoy while you can?

    ReplyDelete
  95. You didn't saw "sex of city" woman is like that,
    who can divid asian and western woman,,? hel..

    who have power that like, money, handsome, tall, etc,,,, can get the better woman not only beaty but also mind, educated, familyity, charming etc,,,,PPa ga,,,,

    ReplyDelete
  96. if you don't want to spend your money on her then don't date her you fool! it's as simple as that period (.)

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  97. Interesting it is of what I've just read.

    I am an (proudly to say) Indonesian girl who is studying (also working to pay my bills) abroad. As my opinion towards the article, it is only matter of stereotypes cause even though I live abroad, still..many westerns think I'm kind of 'cheap' girls like what they thought most Asian girls are.
    The situation is vice versa. Many Indo girls thought that bules who live (or visit) Indo are rich cause they live in a very nice house with a nice car, etc..despite the fact that those things are way cheaper in Indo.

    All I can say regarding the stereotypes here, there are always be exceptions.

    I go out (cafes or parties) on the weekends because I simply wanna have some fun after a long tiring week, but in the same time I do also have good grades in school. And I believe my species also exist in Jakarta.

    My suggestions if you really want to have a long lasting relationship with Indo girls would be:
    1. Try to get to know 'em inside and out first. In what way? With a simple convo towards daily life topic cause I believe if you're also a smart guy..you could also judge whether this girl is suitable for you or not.
    2. Build a good communication before going to the next stage, incl the cultural and money thingy etc.
    3. Trick her a bit, act as poorly as you can just to see if she'd still be with you or not. Because believe me, most Indo girls (if they truly love their man) will devote your life to you (and not your pocket) in good or bad once they're yours.
    4. At the end is just believe your gut.

    Also talking about religion, the question goes back to you. If she worthy or not.

    But if your purpose is a one night stand one, then I can say the high possibility is you'd end up with a gold digger one.

    All in all, it's about mutual respect and it is earned not given.
    Good luck in fishing!

    xx
    P

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  98. this topic is very very provocative..and made me think of everywhere....looking for the source..:p
    but CC..you are amazing..I am also indo girl..I like to confirm here..if you all (bule men) find women who u could buy them with your money..then..frankly speaking..she is B***H then she will treat you like an ATM machine..feel kinda shame as Indonesian woman..some bad images come appear...tips: use your eyes,heart,and your mind..so you could think clearly..

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  99. I agree with you guys, Iam Indonesian girl who live in Bali. we cant judge every women in a island by some girls did.Come and see it by your self. :) I was cheated by expat too, so should I judge every expats are same??

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  100. I am an Indonesian woman. I had a date recently with an American guy. We had a late lunch date in a fancy mall in south Jakarta. He picked the restaurant, and it was pretty expensive.
    So we had our meal, drinks and he had few ciggs. When he asked for the bill, he just stared at it. I got the signal, yes I sure got it, so I asked "how much do I have to pay?" He mentioned that my share was 200K, I gave my 2 100K notes to him. He smiled.
    After the waiter collected the bill, he suggested to go to a coffee shop which I agreed. So off we went to the coffee shop and we made our orders at the counter and when I tried to reach my wallet, he said "it's ok I got this". So I said, "thank you".
    We spent like 2 or 3 hours talking at that coffee shop. We had an excellent time and we didn't want that to over although actually I had a family function in the evening. So I called my Mum, and told her I can't join.
    We moved to a posh cafe for a nice dinner. We looked through the menu, and we made our orders. We had an entree for two, main course for each, two glasses of martini for me, and 4 glasses for him. At 12ish we called it a night, so we asked the bill. The dinner was even more excellent than at the coffee shop. We were holding hands the whole time, he even kissed my lips! But when the bill arrived, he gave me the same reaction as he showed me at our lunch. I put my head back on my shoulder and asked him the same question. He replied, 300K. So I gave him 3 100K notes which he received nicely and a smooch landed on my lips! After the waiter left, we also left. I drive, so I offered him a lift and he said no. So off I left him at the lobby. He BBM me at nearly 2AM and saying "I really had an excellent time with you, can't wait to see you again!" I replied saying "likewise". The next day, I woke up at nearly lunch time and he didn't either BBM, text, let alone call. I was like, maybe he was still sleeping. But untill in the evening no sign from him. It alarmed me, so I called him. Not active! I was deadly curious and worried. As I was introduced through a friend, so I called my friend. He said he will ask around and will let me know. My friend came to my office on the fourth day after our date. He told me he's sorry for introducing an asshole to me, he said never try to find out about that bule guy no more. I was confused. So my friend told me the whole story. I was just his second option as he already met a girl before me. The date was to compare me and the other girl. He said he felt intimidated as to him I am too independent, so his presence wouldn't be needed. He chose the other girl as she told him the sad story about her family and he was sympathetic. He felt he could give her the support she needs. I was stunned!!! I can't believe it.. So tell me about who's fooling who? I am a young Indonesian girl, I have a one full time job and a part time job, those pay me good so I can afford my lifestyle and I pay all my bills by myself. The reason I am attracted to bule is because I had an experience of having a 3 years relationship with a bule guy. The reason we split was LDR after his contract was done, and we were still too young to get married that time. So I tried my luck with this American guy and he chose gold-digger over me? Please somebody tell me what's real and what's not..

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  101. yes indonesian girls love money, if you picked her in wrong place, let's just make some streotype, decent indonesian muslim girl doesnt go to bar, think twice if you wanna marry poor indonesian girl is she loves you or your money and just pick the educated decent girl but it will take more effort.. do you know what the streotype of white foreigner here?? it's "love is blind" or we often see foreigners pick the (sorry) ugly & easy indonesian girl who looks like a nasty girl of course you'll can easily get the bad one

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  102. I am what you could call a more mature man (English). Although my mature years are not seen when I talk and party (so I have been told).

    I am a reasonably successful businesman and I am considering moving to Bali when I retire. I have a freind who has lived there and he tells me that it is a paradise that can be achieved on a relatively small budget.

    I am going to be honest and admit that I also wish to find the company of a beautiful lady to spend my time with (long term if possible, although not with marriage).

    All the discussions about money above really comes down to one thing. In my mind it's about being a gentleman. That's not to say the lady can't pay some if she wants to and it also means that I am not an idiot who will pay for everything if I feel I am being taken advantage of.

    For me, if you invite a lady to dinner it is the right thing to do to pay.

    Maybe I'm old fashioned (but I'm not a dinosaur - I believe in giving women the respect to be treated with equality).

    This is not an advertisement for my hopeful retirment but I felt I would like to make my point.

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  103. i gotta say that some of the comments are very entertaining...

    If i may share my view, I think in the end of the day, we have our options and we all made our choices. If you think that your money can buy you everything, you will get what you can buy and that's not love, my dear. money cant buy you love. when you get what your money can buy you, don't complain. its your choice.

    We are all adults, we could somehow sense if someone if being sincere and how someone/a group of people behave... it is not defined by a nationality/culture. that's too shallow for an educated and well traveled person - don't you think?

    just sharing my view. it could be wrong, it could be right. Nite!

    - an indonesian lady

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  104. I am amazed at the magnitude of the shitstorm.. 2 years and still going strong..

    Anyway, Hi Guys, My Name is Surya, I am an Indonesian Guy who racks in Rp.2.200.000 (USD 231) a month. My wiener is 12.5 cm long with girth size of about 3 cm while awoken. Why on earth did I feel the need to tell you all that nasty shit, you may ask? Man, let me tell you this: with this poor income and poor lump that you might recognize as a penis if you look it under a magnifying glass, I manage to score better girls than those in your pictures up there without any hardships whatsoever. Oh well, they were mostly college girls though, with my latest enduring girlfriend being a senate member of her University Student's Board. But I must tell you, average beautiful expat people, that I mostly if not always, went out with Christian girls, because they are pretty as they are mostly of Chinese heritages. And for a Muslim, average, brown skinned guy like me, scoring a bright skinned Chinese is a prestige of its own. Oh yes, did I tell you that Indon-Chinese families are usually have more money than most of us Locals? because they do, and my girlfriend, the latest one, just like most of my ex-gfs, has always been so nice by paying foods and things for me to which I almost find offensive. And the best thing of all is that, being in Manado, it is almost O.K to fuck the bejeesus out of these nice young ladies before marriage..
    Don't get me wrong guys, I love my girlfriend not because of her looks or money. I have hearts, I was once cried like a little girl when one fine young girl broke my heart.. It's just, I can go along just fine with women. Like any MAN in this world.

    Well, in regard of this blog post, I can only say that a looser is a looser as a hoe is a hoe, race and nationality be damned..

    have fun in Indonesia

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  105. all of this comments makes me disgusting.thanks God my bule boyfriend is none like you all.

    i have good education from university,i work,i pay my bill, my family is rich. i dont expect my boyfriend's money to survive!

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  106. A short example: Years ago, I met a girl in JJ (now closed). After we had drinks, dance etc., we left to go to my hotel. There were lots of taxis there, but she said: Lets take a walk - the taxis are too expensive here - we'll take a taxi from the main street. As a hooker, she shouldn't care how much I gonna pay for the taxi, but she did... With the clear mind she won't get more than the agreed 200k (that was the the then common price + 20-30k for taxi). And that happened many times with other girls. That makes difference,doesn't it?

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  107. no money no honey... lol
    i hate when bule starts to stereotype indon girls. this is not about ur ethnicity ur religion ur bla bla bla man. its not just indo girls thats the only golddigga in this universe. the blondies do also! so this is more about personality. if u got an indo girl then she starts to make any drama then leave it simple. if u just wanna be fuckbuddy then deal with that money thing. its all depend on ur seriousness.

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  108. I was married to a English Girl for more then 18 years, she tried to get me to sell my house in Arabia so that she could move back to England. I was not prepared to do that but I had found alternative ways to finance for the house for her in England but kept this info to myself (bank loans etc).
    When I visited her in England she took me to the Estate agent to look for a house after we choose the house and were in the process of applying for a mortgage in England they company wouldn't lend me the money in the UK as I worked in middleeast. I didnt reveal to my (exwife) that I had other options i returned to work in the middleeast and each time I tried to call my wife she wouldn't answer the phone then I got a letter from the lawyers asking for divorce thinking i will have to sell my house in middleeast for her but she was mistaken big time. She caused me so much hussle even managed to get me Jailed in UK tring to visit my kids. Now that she has her divorce i am a very happy person I have a big house in Arabia, 2 flats in Thailand and a house in East Africa while she is stuck on benefits from the UK government. so it just shows that women who are after money are everywhere on this earth

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  109. this is pretty hilarious. When I see a combo of a fugly expat and an over-the-top local "gf". I know for sure thats money talkin' .

    Please continue ranting...

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  110. any fool can get fool anywhere... so just be smart and careful, you can find a truly beloved indonesian girl easily !!!

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  111. Very sad. So much mistrust and mutual misunderstanding. There are literally thousands of honest, decent, hard working, well-educated and ambitious girls in Jakarta cbd. Some of them are far wealthier than the expats they have married. But like everywhere else, you cannot expect to meet your soul mate on your first one night stand. You have to be patient and selective and build a relationship over time. Why should it be different to anywhere else? If you take short cuts you are asking for trouble. Slow down, take a good look around, build some social networks. Unfortunately, meeting girls in bars in Indonesia is not likely to end well, although there are exceptions. You're not in Kansas now, Dorothy. On the other hand, the local partner in the relationship would be well advised to understand that in some Western cultures, it is not viewed kindly to expect to be paid for all the time. We have some very unpleasant words for people like that - it's not about 'pelit', there are some deeply ingrained cultural beliefs which are hard to see past. I have been here for 10 years, married for 5, to an Indonesian lady who I treasure and we have been blessed with several beautiful children. I have not lived a single day in regret. However, my first few years here were sometimes lonely as it is difficult to understand and see past many of the genuine issues which are raised in this blog, although often coarsely. For those ignoramuses who denigrate certain religions as 'stone-age', get back in your box. Religion here is extremely sensitive and there are countless heartbreaking storiea about couples whose familes keep them apart because they are the 'wrong' religion. Like, between Catholics and Protestants, would you believeit?
    Disciple of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster :-)

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  112. Many monster here.... i won't say all... but it's quite a lot. I dated western too, and he respects me a lot till now even we are not in relationship anymore. I don't know how you guys get the bad girl? I'm much younger than my ex.... he is 41 now and i'm 26. So i dated him since i was 24, and we met when i was a college about 5 1/2 years ago. He is an entrepeneur and he never underestimate me as you guys talked above. I paid my own accomodation, my own need when we were together and i'm 100% Indonesian. I even like to bough him such gift. Even i earn less money than him ( i have profesional career and earn good money too). The point is... if u are a good man, u will get a good girl, but if u just a bastard who has negative point of view and underestimate about women u will get in ur own trap! I'm sure... many of u who are rude must be had a hard life because u are ugly out and inside! buy some mirrors, not only one!

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  113. Dating an Indonesian woman isn't any different to dating a woman from any other country. For you expats complaining about Indonesian girls, here's some food for thought - the four points raised in the article are relationship problems you'd find in your own country.

    You reap what you sow, really. If you're thinking that your status as a foreigner and your fat paycheck entitles you to a 'good' Indonesian girlfriend without taking all the necessary steps in forming a proper relationship, then chances are that you'll be sorely disappointed like many of the posters on this page. If, on the other hand, all you want is casual sex, then by all means have your fun and don't whinge about the consequences it entails.

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  114. if foreigners find difficulty to date indo gals so thats mostly cuz the gal is shy to be seen with foreigner or they just want to know u more . advice to expat:
    -tell the girl enough about u show her photos about u, facebook, photos with ur family ( even if u looking for 1 night stand , most indos have strong bond with their family).

    -take them to karaoke not to bars and clubs , that what most indo gals like.

    -learn enough bahasa ,

    -buy blackberry and get pins , update ur status and put new photo like every week , i have more than 100 gals in my bb and buy chatting and saying jokes, comment about their photos the relation develop alot. u can get pins from indo resto or eating joints , malls , and busway

    however find decent pretty gals in jkt still not that easy even for locals, most of the expat i saw are with unattractive females , even the guy is so handsome! if u live here for long time better to go outside jakarta to boger , bandung and west java where u can find cantik and easier gals than jkt , even locals from jakarta go their to get gals , but well u should know wnough bahasa cuz gals their might not know any english

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  115. Jakarta is just a bad but realistic, representation of Indonesia.Perhaps the capital city of corruption but also of so called Western minded ( mostly narrow minded) the way Indonesian look upon each other is shocking, but logical since money & status is everything here and poisons the mind of local people. Morals and values are non existent. If you want to find a less poisoned stuck up, deceiving women go to Vietnam.this is a hell hole for sane people.

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  116. let me share my opinion. most indonesian girls don't want money from western guys. they only want half blood children, hehee..
    I'm indonesian. my female friends like white guys only for their physical appearances, not money. they aren't interested in old rich white men. we think a wedding of old man & young girl is disgusting

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  117. 40 years ago I met my Indonesian GF, and she still is my wife today. She was not cheaper or more expensive than an other nationality I might have had. I'ts called love...does this not count any more! Yes my family has increased 10 fold, and we love it.

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  118. I think it's sad to see the picture expats get of Indonesian girls. Most of them meet girls in bars or the internet, get cheated on - and then from the bad experience they judge and make assumption of Indonesian girls as a whole. Seriously peeps? As an Indonesian girl (born Chinese), I find it insulting to be put in the same category as those money suckers.

    One should know never expect to find romance in bars. And the internet is a very shallow place to meet people. You'd be one fucking lucky mofo to find romance in bars or the internet.

    ps. good Indonesian girls won't sleep with you in the first night/date, hell, the very good ones even wait after marriage. Remember, Indonesia is a very conservative country to begin with. At least it was.

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  119. half blood children for soap opera :)

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  120. Just stop dating Indo girls then. Simple and plain.. As for me, I have had the priviledge of dating few expats working in Jakarta (US, UK, Oz, Suisse, French, Italian, Singaporean, Pakistani) and honestly they are all the same. We went out for dinner, watched movie, and if we feel like to let our hair down, we would continue to some nice clubs. If he pay the dinner, I will definitely pay the cinema (not some cheesy 21) and we will take turn for whatever our expense will be. First round drinks will be his, the second mine, and so on. Of course sex is involved as impossible to have a platonic love these days. Be wise though to put it on or take the pills regularly, not just the morning after. I got good education, I now work in a prestigious multinational company, plus I have another part time teaching job. I have loads of expats friends, and they never in one tiny nonsense opportunity would look down on me. I have an intact nuclear family. My dad is a proud businessman, I have a stay-home mother who is very loving & caring, both of my parents speak English, and my brother is a top musician, violinist, and is currently based in Vienna. Act like you want to be looked at and (sorry) be 'judged' of, and please please treat others as you want to be treated. Never take people - whatever the nationality is - for granted, please. It is you who decided who you want to be with on the first place.. When life gives you lemon, make lemonade. Do not attempt to make margaritas unless you can bear the consequence, lol
    Enjoy what Indonesai has to offer :)

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  121. It annoys me to read some comments, albeit from quite some time ago near the top of this thread, that dismiss expats as being losers who couldn't get a date in their own country. Sure, there are many here like that, but there are also many who are not losers at all, but who wanted to explore the big wide world rather than stay in their boring hometown in the UK or the USA and had the bravery and the drive to get a job somewhere in a faraway country to enable them to achieve that. Everyone is an individual regardless of nationality, income etc. Regarding Indonesian girls (I must point out that it would be the same with western girls if they were as poor as many indonesian girls are - it is similar the world over where women are poor, many will naturally try to find a wealthy man for security) who expect guys to pay for everything - there is one comment from ages ago above from an Indonesian woman who expected an expat man to pay for his girlfriend and all of her friends dinners even though he didn't invite them all - this is the kind of attitude that makes me run a mile. Sure, many expat guys just want to sleep with as many girls as possible, but then there are those who would like to stay with one ideal girl but for expectations like this. I've got quite a bit of money, and I am very generous, but the minute I think that the girl is overly materialistic it's over, and frankly I won't feel the least bit guilty about subsequently telling her what she wants to hear just to get laid and then ignore her calls. But in general, I have no intention of lying to get a good honest woman into bed. If I like them I'll date them for a while see if it works out and I'll be good and honest. If I like them but I know I don't like them enough to have a relationship and they are good down to earth people I'll spare them the headfuck and won't sleep with them unless they're 100% clear it's not serious. I don't like the guilt of hurting someone who doesn't deserve it (that doesn't mean I enjoy hurting people who DO deserve it, just that I probably can't resist trying to fuck them if they're sexy). It goes like this: 1st date, reasonably nice restaurant. I pay no matter what. However, I privately note whether or not a) she offered to pay, or b) she politely explained that she didn't have enough money, and/or c) she seemed genuinely grateful afterwards... if she passes my secret test in addition to coming across as a person who cares about stuff other than money, then I want to get to know her more and will arrange a second date another time. If she totally fails but is really sexy, I try my utmost to charm her back to my place knowing fine well that at best I'll sleep with her a handful of times over the following week or two or maybe even only once before making my excuses and calling it off. Another thing I often do when I am getting to know a girl, is have a walk around some random place and eat some street food from a warung. Don't get me wrong, any girlfriend of mine will overall enjoy financial security, occasional gifts and holidays etc. But if she looks at me as if she is too good to eat at a warung... bye bye! ... cont....

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  122. ... continued from above ....
    Women who have nothing, but have a good attitude I would in theory have no problem paying for everything for, but they tend to be uneducated and I am sadly unlikely to be able to forge a lasting intellectual relationship with them because of this, and I need that from a girlfriend.

    Those of you ladies who expect the expat to pay for everything, and strut around as if it's your god given right just because you're sexy - there are millions of other girls just as sexy as you out there, all sitting like zombies in high heels staring at their blackberries even though we are trying to talk to you about life the universe and everything. Without the personality you really are nothing special, and are probably going to be forever screwed around by expat after expat and you probably deserve it. If we are shallow for only wanting sex then you are the same for only wanting status and money.

    But then there are those lovely ones, educated and passionate enough about something to make good company, those who, regardless of cultural differences can inspire us to behave well, resist all the temptations and love them! Yay to you! But damn you're hard to find!

    Oh and one more thing, one Indonesian woman commented earlier something about how because most expats are atheists, therefore money is our god. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I can be happy without those shiny branded goods you care so much about and yet there is no god in my life.

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  123. i really laughed a lot when i read this article, My God who do u think u're judging all Indonesian woman r like that, Im telling u my salary is 4 times higher than my husband, and im willing and so happy to treat him and helping him in finance but im still honoring n respect him as a leader in our family, if u're dealing with a poor n stupid girl u can find those problems above all around the world not only in Indonesia. We're Indonesian girl are very loyal to our spouse, we're taking care our family very well, and treat our husband with full of respect...so if u meet a girl like that u just not lucky enought to find someone who love u fully with all ur weakness

    regards,
    Beby

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  124. Ah, fairly good points in this article but where's this point? "WORRY THAT YOUR INDONESIAN GIRLFRIEND MIGHT FIND ANOTHER (MORE INTERESTING) BULE"

    Come on, it's no secret how predator can an Indonesian woman be when it comes to finding a Bule partner :) I'm not saying all of us are like that, but there's no denying that lots of them are just plain obsessed. Listen, women, how many times do these other women glare at you when you hang out with your Bule boyfriend? Exactly. Happens to me all the time! And ironically, I visit lots of upper class clubs and restaurants (Dragonfly, Skye, Social House,etc...) And that's where it happens... - alot!

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  125. any expat can complain about how hard your relationship, but to heck with ya, western guys, you only look for sex. you even watch porn.

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  126. Anonymous is having cognitive dissonance issues - or multiple split-personality disorder, by the looks of it...

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  127. Hello All... I'm Jakarta girl, currently living in Bali for 2 years now, it's interested me to speak out also about the chatter with ur all people here, I only wanting to share piece of mind based on my experience about Indonesian women in generally, first of all most of Indonesian women are really attached easy to fall in love especially when she meet someone who is generous to her but it also depends where this girls from are they from java who lives in Jakarta or she is genuinely born n raise in Jakarta, the Jakarta girls normally needed to feel safe financially, n needed to know he willing be there for her that's n actually when she knows that, she willing to devoted herself to him but this kinda village girls who a gold digger is from java or elsewhere they come from somewhere far from city n all they think is about how to survive in Jakarta, so they used they "village face" to attract the expat n uses him for survival, this java girls are very sneaky, Jakarta girls normally prettier n white skin which only needed to be sure he loves her unconditionally... I have my own carrier I'm a translator, a model freelancer yet my bf who expat is taking care of all without I'm asking him to do so but of course in return I oftentimes buy him perfume or nice shirts or another gifts instead of paying bills. So basically it depends where the girls comes from, it's either she from the village then come to Jakarta or originally from Jakarta it makes big differences..

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  128. I guess that depends on the girls dude :) there are many of my friends in Bali have married with bule n have a very loving relationship, even they husband aren't all have a good job but she still taking care of him nicely, n by the way there are also westerner women who are like to screw around with guys, can't only judge Indonesian girls are bad.

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  129. Paying for dinner on first date, especially when such date happens because of the guy's request, is very....basic. When a man asks a girl out for dinner, of course it should be clear who's paying. The man pays.
    When i go on a date, first date, i always offer to pay. If the man lets me pay, then that date would be the last date. There are still a lot of other genuine gentlemen out there, who know basic manners in dating. I've been dating expats, chinese indonesian, local indonesian, and so far they always pay for me. (me occasionally).

    So remove the label 'expats'. Because all men, being expat or not, do the same thing. They pay. At least for first date.

    El

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  130. I'm indonesian girl.

    I admit many Indonesian girls love to get paid for their food. They do this with their BF and even with the other girls friends. This is my personal experience. Most of my friends always force others to treat them food. this is so ashamed. Reading this topics, it convinced me that this could be most of indonesian girl's bad habit to make use of other who had money.

    I'm sure still some of you have that pride and dignity not to let your friends/bf to pay for you mostly. I'm personally hate to see this kind of girls. Eventhough we pay and keep quite, we'll judge you on that and surely will stay away from these kind of girls who just take you for granted and make use of your pocket.

    -Ises

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  131. Not all girls. Only some of them are jerks. So, you should pick girl carefully. Not in the bar.

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  132. I think for those expats who experienced those kind of girls as described in the article had fishing at the wrong place. You judge girls base on the environment you involved in. We feel pity to you. You guys should questioned yourself, rather than categorized the girls. Why don't you go fishing in the ponds with good fishes? there are many ponds you don't recognize/acquainted. And for the guy who would not recommend a Indo Chinese, lucky for the Indo Chinese as they are not easily be fooled by expats, they know most bule like to f**k around and won't get involved in this kind of relationship. Also they are not crazy about half breaded or white people as they are already have bright skin LOL. though perhaps there is small number who like bule thing. When I was a child/teenager I used to idol even dream to have bule husband, simply because in my eyes they are handsome, good looking, but when grown-up and understand how most of white people behave in sex, my point of view dropped off, yet I still appreciate those guys who still keep the good value of morality in sex.

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  133. Majority of women in Indonesia are looking for comfort from their BFs regardless of whether the latter is an expat or a local. Indo women are basically very selfish in nature and therefore, tend to shed their self-respect rather easily. No where in the world women ask for gifts openly. I know if an Indo woman is reading me she is mumbling, "Big deal!". True, for them nothing is a 'big deal'. I guess this is an unending debate as the Indo women would not like admit their character traits. And please dont say the expats do not have good women in their countries. By the same measure I can ask you if there is any good man left in Indonesia. Urban Indo women are lazy, yet they want all the comforts of life. This country is a lot like Russia today where women have redefined prostitution. Harsh word? Could be. But it's true that Indonesia has followed the same footsteps. And those Indo women who are educated, careerist and professional with impressive bank balances? Well, they too like to be taken care of every time it comes to paying a bill. Sad but true!

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  134. Hi Mr Expat..i can see from you story you just desperate with you life because living not in you country and have small salary.you wish you have sex everyday free with different woman,that why you go to bar 5 day a week.then you up sad when you want take they home for one night standing sex they ask you for money.maybe you are alcoholic..because you hope to have sex for free and wish they love you to...that why you make this article..before you wire article..u must learn about culture.we are not go bar,we not have one night sex with stranger and we just do sex after marriage...

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  135. Wow, those comments are really long!

    I'm Indonesian student who lives in Sweden for some times now . It's only on my opinion, such things this article mentioned above, somehow, are rights. But all of them is depended on how you see it. If you're talking about money, sure you need to dig into your pocket to get what you want. Money is the price you pay, but value is what you get. I often gather around with others Indonesian ladies who got married with Swedes here. They have several reason for getting married with Swedes. Firstly, of course they're married because of love. Then, its not always about the money, some of them even just need a pride of marrying a foreigner.
    I must say, things such religion, tradition and morals are important, still, for Indonesian ladies. Never ask them to get sleep with you unless you're precisely sure that she wants it too. Never mocking her religion or tradition. Just go with it if you really like her, or just leave if you're thinking that is not worth to try on.

    I know for some reason there are many of Indonesian ladies who drink spirits and do free-sex, but remember, not all of them is like that.

    Last, you just need to meet the good one to bring up your best. Don't stuck on those stereotypes which mention that Indonesian ladies are weak, gold digger, low-educated, obedient and shy. Because you might get surprised yourself of it. Just treat your lady as if you want to be treated. Easy! May the best man get the best!!

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  136. I have been traveling to Bali for a while now and live locally away from other tourists. When I first went I was shy, kept to myself and watch by surroundings and was educated (wrongly) that its always about the money.
    I loving going out to bars and having a few beers. The first couple of times I did what a lot of westerners do and reached for my wallet for a good time (as I was told), but that was enough and I became bored.
    I went back to my usual self and just started chatting up girls and having a great time. I dressed up like I would back home in Australia and even though it does attract money girls those who aren't also appreciated the effort that I put into my appearance.
    I am now dating a woman 10 years my senior and it works well. She understands that I work hard for my money, she has never asked for anything except the essentials and she works 6 days a week. I have also left her money, telling her its up to her to be responsible and she has been. she doesn't have blackberry, iphone or any other techno toys.
    On an earlier post, I to agree that the majority of westerners I see (I really notice the aussies, its hard for me to miss) acting disgraceful in such a beautiful place (another reason to dress nicely, it sets you apart from the rable). I am half dutch and I play to that and keep clear of the obnoxious groups.
    I have had other experiences with girls that I have dated and it is just a matter of asking the right questions at the right time. If you meet in a bar. Ask what she does for work, when was the last time she worked if she isn't. What is her monthly salary and ask about her family, to see if she comes from money, if she does then that might explain her life style. I ask these questions at the right time and read between the line if I smell something is off. I haven't had any problems so far by doing so.

    If you are religious and looking for an easier transition into and indonesian relationship. Then I would have to say, from what I have seen the Hindu culture is very accepting. A friend of mine had both a Hindu and Christian wedding and there was no fuss. Other friends have also found dating and marrying Hindu women much easier ( as far as religious differences go).

    I have a strategy that works for me and this has been my experience. IF it helps people great! if not, well each to their own. I hope you find my story useful.

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  137. I would like to say its a shame that us human beings are attacking eachother over bad apples from other societies. I married an Indonesian lady and Iam a mix between Arab and British ( Luckily I know the Arabic language and Iam a devout muslim)of my own choice.



    While I admit there have been misunderstandings but the way I look at it i was accepted upon arrival and part of their family.

    Its unfortunate that Indonesia has an extremley large and poor population and poverty can affect us in different ways its proven time and time again.

    I love Indonesia and I have a positive view of them in terms of they are very polite, respectful people and could conquer the world with their smile. I dont like the bribery and corruption which they also dont like but this is the order of the day over there.

    i would encourage all of you both Indonesian and expatriates to put down this harsh mentality of pushing stereo types and treat every one on a case by case basis.

    My point in this thread is I would encourage you is to learn as much as you can about culture and avoid the bad people in all societies and America and Britain has more than their fair share of them as i would certaintly not welcome anyone to insult my religon as I did no harm to a non muslim.

    Any Indonesian would welcome you to their country providing you respect them and thier lifestyle and I would like to repeat as many have posted if your looking for a good quality woman let alone Indonesian you are going to have to search other than a bar and you will have to accept whether you like it or not 90% o Indonesia is muslim and in reality behind the appearence that they are up for it they are actually up for what they were brought up as - Unfortunatley those not exposed or research this will not understand therefore it will cause you much disgust, confusion and so on. Iam here to promote peace and dialogue but on the same hand iam here to promote societies to run their show the way it runs I wish America would stop hating Islam but if i chose to live there I have to accept they have every freedom to disrespect me and my religon because society promotes hatred and freedom to express it.

    Good night all and spread peace promote understanding and eat plenty of nasi goreng, bakwan, nasi uduk and pempek Terimah Kasih Banyak

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  138. OMFG I was looking for some bars review for my expat friends and ended up spending 2 hours reading all those comments! T__T

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  139. reading all the comments here and end up smiling, i have a lof of indo friends who were never mind to pay millions IDR in a club or cafe in Jakarta. i dated several guys who never complaining to pay for me. on the other hand, I have my own self respect to NEVER ask my BF anything, even when i was having problem with cash i'd prefer to borrow from my family or cousins, "gengsi" in term of indo slank. i feel so pity those expat here who complaing n whining about pay the bills.

    i never had any relationship with any Expat before, until i have met a few guy in Bali. For what i've seen, most expat there are full of themself, snobby, complain alot about everything, thus they are working in indo, jerking around, and only God knows what else.

    dear Expat, you may came from developed country, but it doesn't mean you have our respect. Indonesia is a big country, with more than 230 million people, we're a spender, and consumtive buyer in YOUR country, many indo people spend money abroad.
    after graduate, we are working, studying 2nd, 3rd language except English. We go to the concert, spend our time in malls, club, restaurant, go to holiday abroad when we have money, and also a social media active user. We are also reading a book, and follow news. where are you before you arrive in Jakarta or Bali???

    please, don't make those million IDR or dollars that you got from working here and all the service given for free (maid, driver, 2x holiday to your own country) makes you lose your identity and feels like you never had a life back in your country.

    as long as you show some respect to our country, the local people, culture, and religion that we had here, then you'll be respected too.
    if you want to compete, compete in your country, find out how it goes, come back here and thank us to be such a friendly, nice, and apa-apa murah!


    i.v

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  140. OMG! I'm Indonesian man n I'm just surfing around the net. Suddenly I ended up reading (almost) all the comments above, lol.... :))

    To Indonesian womens/girls: mungkin yg dimaksud para bule2 ini adalah cewe2 matre yg suka nongkrong di klub2 malem. Ga bisa disalahin jg emang banyak koq cewe seperti itu. Kalo mo yg baik2 ya jgn cari di klub malam ato bar lah...
    (hehe, translate that)

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  141. yeah i was in open relationship with expat. At first he paid everything. But then he let me paid for the hotel bill. Come on!....

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  142. @ luke skywalker : yang mereka suka memang yang di bar bar remang2 kok. Model2 yang kita sebut "ayam"..... bwahahahaha.

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  143. I pity all expat who are complaining here. You dated a slut not an indonesian decent and princess-like manner girl.

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  144. This articles and comments really ruins my good perception about you guys. Instead of a dollar sucker as you generalizing all indonesian Women Attitude, i genuinely like expat for their physical appearances (those colored eyes and hair). Some people say, expats are open-minded but in fact, you are just narrow-minded people trying to make lives in my country. If you wish to meet a decent girl, instead of going to bar, go to library or museum.

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  145. The comments regarding social status which is so important to Indos. and I can understand why but you need to understand in Bule countries its not so important, especially in Australia where a labourer or truck driver has the same income or more as an office manager. The Bule flashing his money around in Blok M attracting all the girls attention is just one of the crowd back home. BTW, I am married to an Indo and have been for 20 years, being tall and good looking I get constant offers from young girls at home when I go out and find my Indo wife gets plenty of attention from young males due to her exotic looks. Plus we both dress very well an look affluent. So its same/same. Also, just as many gold diggers at home in Australia as there is in Indo in proportion. And I wouldn't say that the women are so much more attractive in Indo, again a matter of perspective and what you are attracted to.
    But I have to laugh at the obvious scorned western women making comments here about racism, etc and Asian women not being accepted in western countries. Total BS. Countries like the US and australia are very multicultural and mixed realtionships seldom get a glance, unlike asia. Western women are extremely jealous of Asian females probably because most western women lost their femininity a long time ago and all now want to be like men. This is the difference, Indo women are not servile but they are very feminine. A feminine woman is very attractive to a man, much more attractive than just looks. Take notes Bule women if you want to keep your man.

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  146. BTW, my wife and I have a bit of a laugh sometimes when we go to Jtown and see the expats acting like they are rich big timers, the money they make is average where we come from and most of these guys are socially disadvantaged nerds. But they do fool the girls into thinking they are from a higher social status back home, which they aren't but how are the girls to know because social status is such a big part of Indo culture.

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  147. Maybe the Problem of all that say "Indo Girls want Money" is that, you are meet them in night Clubs?
    And the Problem of the People that say "Bule feel like god because of Money", is that, they only know bule of night Clubs?

    I living in JKT since 6 Month. I was only 1 time in a Nightclub... And yes, i dont like the bule there and also not the Girls. If you are in places like that, its normal, that you not understand each other.

    Tip for Indo guys/Girls: dont judge ALL Bules. There are some Bule that are well-educated, but dont feel like something better.
    And Tip for Bule who are looking for serious relation: Dont take a Girl of a night Club. Look out for a nice Girl that is working in a 7-Eleven near to you, or that is working in a Mall. Talk to her, Change numbers, meet her...

    But if you going to a night Club and the Girl is wearing short skirt and is half naked, what you expact? That this Girl is going out for the first time and is waiting for you?

    I found a very nice Girl, that works in an Office. We meet us very often and she never asked me to pay anything. Sometimes when want to pay something for her, she said "no thank you, i want to invite you"...

    I think Girls like that are hard to find in a night Club.

    And NOT all bule are the same. I dont have ANY Bule friend in Indonesia, i just hang out with locals. I prefer to eat nasi Padang with some friendly indo-guys, than go to a expensive Restaurant with a lot of bule that feel like a king.

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  148. I have been dating an Indonesian girl for four months now. I am from the US. It started out perfectly. She seemed like the nicest girl ever. Helping me a lot. Always smiling and we both were very happy. However, little by little she began getting very angry when I didn't understand exactly what she was trying to tell. Perhaps she is too confident in her English speaking ability. Of course I am trying to learn Indonesian too, but I haven't had the time to really focus on it because of other responsibilities. Is it common for Indonesian girls to become very offended when they tell you something in a confusing way and you ask them ask politely and tactfully as possible to repeat it? I tried to just say yes and pretend like I understand what she is saying when I don't understand what she is saying in order to avoid the drama, but I learned that it actually can make things worse because then she says, "I already told you that? Are you stupid?" Yes, sometimes she can be really mean. It's shocking because normally she is a very nice person. I really want for us to be happy and for the relationship to work, but I am losing my patience. Also, sometimes when I'm telling her something she jumps to conclusions and gets really angry because she misinterprets what I am actually saying. I think our difficulties are based on age difference, cultural difference, and language.
    Also, I should mention before I end this comment that I have tried to talk to her about these things and be as nice as possible, but she gets really upset and it makes things worse. She says that we should never talk about our differences because we already know them. I have the exact opposite opinion. I believe a healthy relationship is built upon open and honest communication guided by compassion and empathy. If anyone has any experience regarding this problem please don't hesitate to comment. I would really like this relationship to work, but I feel that it might be more trouble than it is worth...

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    Replies
    1. it's just about her personality, not the fact that she is indonesian. :D

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    2. I've read your comments and agree totally, have you overcome the differences and find common ground or did you give up?

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  149. Me with my fiance - he's from germany he only know easy english words or you can say its basic english - everytime he asked me again and again to repeat or to explained into more easier english I'll do it for him. Without big understanding the relationship won't work out.

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  150. I have age gap also between me and my fiance, I'm 20 and he's 45...sometimes we have fight too - but in 15 minutes later we already back into peace again. I think it's depends on each other. If they do not really love you, for sure they are really easy to hurt you,angry you,etc

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  151. Miss February 3, really? You're 20 and your fiancé is 45? Thats a huge different and your English is also broken honey.. Errors such as, everytime is simple present tense. You should know the basic if you consider your fiancé's English as one. Everytime he ASKS me - thats the correct one. Another one, which is also from the same sentence - to explained. To + infinitive darling, it should be to explain. To repeat is already correct. You know maybe the basic English you're talking about your fiancé's is a lot better than yours. Sorry to say, just saying. Uh and the age gap, really? I believe he has a very charming personality that you find him attractive.. NOT!!

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    1. Relax, it's not her mother tongue :))

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    2. errrr...and how many languages you know exactly? 5? english, broken english, posh english, street english and american/british slang? Pffft...what a bule..

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    3. Englisgh for douche bag, per se?

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    4. RUDE
      can you speak bahasa fluently? i bet!!!

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  152. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  153. I am Indonesian woman, 23 years old. It was fun to read all those comments above :) And that's right about ayam, gold digger.. But I am sure still lot of Indonesian women are nice, well mannered, good attitude, and loveable. My aunt got married with a French, they live in Jakarta and have a pretty daughter. I was in relatioship with few expats in Jakarta and Bandung. Some were jerks, and some were really good men. They respected me. When we went out for dinner or movie, they always paid the bill. I never asked it. But they offered me to paid the bill. When I wanted to pay our bill, they always smiled at me and touched my hand to let me know that I didn't need to do that. They were happy to treat me :)

    For Indonesian, either woman or man who want to have serious relationship with foreigner, you must good speak and understand English. No need to be perfect, but at least you know how to less the misunderstanding, learn about their cultural, their joke.. Now I am in serious relationship with middle east man.. He's fat, 33 years old, 180cm, 95kg, Moslim (I am Christian), an export import business man, and live so far from Indonesia. We are so different.. Our cultural, our religion, our age.. We fight sometimes.. But on the next day, we forget about our fight and we are still good until now. Even we are so in love :) We usually meet in other country when he is in business trip, he invites me to come. One day I asked him why he loves me so much and chooses me (he dated many Indonesian girls before), then he said that when many pretty indo girls with sexy dress, high heels and heavy make up came to him just for fun and money, he found me so simple.. Never ask for money, independent woman, dressed by jeans and tshirt only, and well attituted. I am sure and wish other Indo girl will found a sweet foreigner to be their life partner.. Just not getting in rush, be patient..


    Putri

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  154. one rule to remember when dating any girl, no matter where you afre in the world and especially in ndonesia. No money = No honey. Good luck.

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  155. Yeah, Indonesian, well educated women not much different with other well educated women..basically! And there's always materialistic and easy girl everywhere in the world. So, there's always an absolute asshole, bastard, fuckwit, cocksucker men in the world. My ex was an aussie man. He treated me bad just like I was his 24/7 maid. I divorced with him 3 years ago. Now, guess what, I am with an aussie man, been a year. we love each other, we are just compatible.... All I am trying to say is, even the same nationalities two men can be different personalities too!!! I have a friend Indonesian girl that can't get along because she's more money oriented andlikes judging by the look. Just like my dad saiD "there's only two kind of people in the world:BAD and GOOD people"....

    Dawson's gal

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  156. Well.. I totally disagree if an expat guys said local girls want their money only. All I can say is you guys found the wrong girl at the right place lol. Im 26yo, I have a job and my own money to pay my bill. I like to go out party to get loosen up a bit, I'll wear the shortest skirt and the highest heels I got (Kate Moss said lol). Nothing wrong with that. But not too often tho, since im not that young already.. if I go party for 1 night, I'll need 1 week to fully recover lol XD

    Several month ago I went to BATS and they thought Im a prostitute, I was like wtf. Just because of my olive skin? Whats wrong with you guys?

    Anyway, me dated a 31yo french guy once and when we go for a trip, I pay for the flights and he pay for the other. He actually wanted to repay the money but i refused. He never let me pay whenever we go out together. The thing is, he got bad temper way too easy to get mad.
    Several month ago I met this 35yo Italian guy and he was nice and never let me pay. One day, I did insist to pay and he refused and i ask why (once in awhile, a nice dinner paid by your woman wont hurt your pride as a man. Ha! :p ) he said 'because you're with me, i'll take care of you (aww.. lol). But at the end, we broke up because I refused to have sex outside marriage (relax, it doesnt mean that I havent done anything sexual with him lol and no, im not that naif angel. Its not religious reason or society -fck the society, I do what I want- Im just respect some traditional values.. or I havent found the one who can totally sweep me off my feet? lol jk X).

    So it was never because of money or age gap. Its the personality.

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  157. My wife is Indonesian. I disagree with some of the advice here. My advice, if you are looking for a wife, is go traditional. Pay for all the meals. Then, after you marry, you be the provider and let her stay at home. Before the kids, she keeps the house, cooks you a great dinner, and spends the evening making you happy. After children, she does those things and takes care of the kids. Why go with a western feminist money and power split if you are going to marry an Indonesian woman?

    Also, why talk about a fake conversation? There are millions of Christian women in Indonesia. The percentage of Christian is probably much higher than the official posted numbers. If you are Roman Catholic, guess what... there are Roman Catholics in Indonesia, too, lots of them. You don't have to deny your faith to get married. And if you have the same religion, the shared religions values will be a good you can both depend on while navigating the different cultural expectations.

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  158. I'm an Indonesian girl who had been living in a western country. For those expact guys who complain about Indonesia girls; are gold diggers or money minded, uneducated, not speak english etc. Come on you guys, there are much more western ladies worse than that!. They also look into your pocket, drink and spending lots of time in pub, no cooking or serving their partner/husband at home, take away food most of the day. We, Indonesian, our culture is still very thick, respect the husband, cooking and do cleaning and all those house job, also loving family oriented. So you must be the lucky one if you could find an indonesian girl for the rest of your life!! One good key, don't find them in a pub or night club because pub/nightclub in indonesia are different with the pub in the western country,,if you know what i mean #$$. Good luck guys!!

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  159. all nice, beautiful, rich, well-educated indonesian girls RARELY fall for a BULE. They love rich, smart, well-educated, exotic, polite indonesian guys..hahahaha...

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    1. I would never have gone for a rich Indo girl, they are far too up themselves and completely useless at anything worthwhile. The problem is they have everything done by pembantu since young and develop no life skills (rich Indo males are the same) and cannot survive in a Western country where we need to perform basic neccesities of life without servants. My advice , pick a poor girl rather than a rich one, my wife is jaw droppingly beautiful and knows how to look after herself and her family.

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    2. Lol I beg to differ! I can put together furniture, do yearly maintenance on keys, fix mechanical things around the house, change lightbulbs and cook simple dishes.

      Being educated overseas means I've been out of home since I was 14, and got started on the domestic (and handyman) front much earlier than neat-leaving school leavers in UK, US and Australia did. I remember my Australian friends commenting in envy over the fact that I lived alone, until I retorted that the lawn needs to be mowed every fortnight and laundry loads ironed. My parents wisely put me on a budget, which was definitely not enough if I had outsourced the cooking/cleaning/laundry tasks.

      I would be happy to take over a large part of the non-heavy lifting involved handyman tasks, dishwashing, filing tax returns, gardening and some laundry if the guy can put up with filing bills, driving the car and general tidying up around the house!

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  160. I am an African expart in Jakarta, African women are better than these indonesian girls who cake their faces and eyes with excessive makeup that makes them look goofy. How they dress,,,disrespectful, not good..and they are never out for real love,they will stick with you as long as you have a fat wallet,,,i think i was wrong not to bring an african girlfriend..a real lady.

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  161. As a western woman I find it interesting to read the comments left here as to how my peers are described. I say to the Asian girls be wary of a relationship with the Australian Western men as they are all initially buy you the world types. When they get you married its back to the pack of beer a day mostly in the pub with his mates then its off go fishing every weekend whilst your left with the kids and the housework.. oh and you probably will be expected to hold down a full time job on top of that. That's mostly why western women divorce them as they have been feeling ignored and unloved for some time and sick of being treated like a maid.

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  162. Another western woman with sour grapes. Get over it sweetheart, I know at least 20 to 30 aussies married to Indo girls and none act the way you describe or treat their women like that. Not to say it doesnt happen but it is the exception rather than the rule and from my observation it is the women who jump into relationships based on their yearning for a foreign passport that it happens to.

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  163. Many of my expat friends who have indo girl complained about their gold digger gf.. I only ask them 1 question and most of them answer the same : "clubbing, pub, bar.. when I out for a party"
    I think that answer the question.. you want a good woman, and it in a better place.. doesn't mean that all who hang out in Pub or Bar is bad. if you think with your logic and eyes insted your penis.. its will work better for you guys. good luck.

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  164. I am Indo-Girl. i can finance my self.
    for everybody who agreed about materialistic indo-girl, you just involved your dick than your heart that's why you are disappointed with fake relationship by your own creature. well, there is fire before smoke dude!

    #Nothing Compares To a Beautiful Conversation With a Beautiful Mind#

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  165. For men considering marrying an Indonesian woman:

    1. Learn how to speak bahasa indonesia, if not, you will never know who your girlfriend really is as a person.

    2. Understand that you will be treated differently than an indonesian man. With an indonesian man the women are more submissive, with a western man, it is not an embarrassment to their families if they openly challenge you and disrespect you--this is from living in this country for 30 years.

    3. An indonesian woman is not as romantic as a western woman unless she is from the wealthier classes and has spent a lot of time abroad. For most people in Indonesia life is a struggle, dont expect her to go all out for valentines day learn to be happy with who she is or walk away.

    4. Wealthy Indonesian women almost never marry with an expat, normally their marriages are carefully arranged and usually bring together business/political synergies of the two families.

    5. Make sure she gives of herself. The writer of the article is woefully uninformed, it is not normal for the woman to pay in indonesia even if she is rich, unless the man is friend not a boyfriend. However, if she cooks, offers to help you with your work, run errands for you, or helps you to save money then this is a positive. Most indonesians dont have high levels of disposable income.

    6. If she works a job that only pays her Rp 3-4 million per month and she owns an iphone 6, a real designer bag and lives by herself in an apartment then dont be surprised if she is the mistress of a wealthy indonesian and dont think a baby from you will cure her desire for nice things, she will expect more from you.

    7. Understand that love is defined in a different way by the numerous cultures of indonesia, what is love to a chinese woman may not be the same as a sundanese woman or a javanese woman. Too many expats have made this error in judgement.

    8. If you want to what your sweetheart will be like, pay close attention to the mother, this adage is very real in indonesia.

    9. When you marry her, you inherit her family, their needs and problems become yours. Dont let anyone convince you otherwise. Indonesians cannot count on government support so they count on their families. If you see that you are not the only one being asked to help pay for a sickness or education then that means they see you as a human rather than a wallet with legs.

    10. Please dont think that a muslim woman will not practice her religion, she will, and whats more the family will monitor your adherence to the religion as well. If being a non-muslim is important to you then ask if she will convert if not then find a non-muslim.

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  166. "Even if she is not that religious, chances are her family is, and they will not tolerate anything but a Muslim wedding. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, I think you need to convince your girlfriend that the best you can do is "fake" the conversion to become Muslim in order to look good in front of her family, but keep your own religion without telling people except her."

    What in the World? Why don't expat guys just leave her and find another woman or genuinely convert? I don't think it's a good idea to keep a lie from all of your Indonesian-in-laws

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  167. I am a grown man who pays for every thing. It is OK. I don't mind. I like taking care any woman I am with. It's called being the man. Doesn't matter what nationality she is.

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  168. I know some expat guys who think Indo or SEA girls are just after their money. But the truth is they use their money to get those girls, and more attracted to the girls who only loved their money than the decent girls. When decent girls refuse the money they think these girls are just pretending or just too snob and don't appreciate their sincerity, so these expat guys prefer the girls who had the biggest smile when receiving their money or gift doesn't matter if it's just fake smile, even when they know these girls will stop loving them as soon as they stop showering them with gifts...and they wonder why they always ended up with those materialistic girls...

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  169. Is it pathetic that the article from 5 years ago still got commented on? But I can quite understand the problematic issue.

    I am taking a part in a inter-race relationship now. One of us is German, another is Indonesian. I can relate to all of those points mentioned above, but like some level-headed comments have pointed out above, you ripe what you sow.

    If you're an expat meeting a girl at the club or bar with sexy revealing clothes, who hang out with similar dressed girls and have no problem having sex with you in the first of second dates, well what do you expect really? You will also not regard the western girls who do that with very high regard, do you?

    I and my partner always happy for the fact that our relationship is almost like an office romance, where the guy actually have to ask the girl out without alcohol-influence and in a neutral ground. But we still actually have those issue, so it is not exclusive problem for the gold diggers and expat with superior attitude.

    I'm saddened by these comments and mindset actually, honest Indonesian girls who actually enjoyed the company and genuinely love their expat boyfriend will forever have someone that think they are using the expat for money, and hard working expat guys who honestly fall in love with their Indonesian girls will always invited to club and strip club by their other expat friends because they thought it is not possible for him to actually serious in the relationship.

    But what you and I know, we are all just a bunch of hypocrites anyway.

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  170. For yall bule/expatriates you need to understand Indonesian culture first before humping your Indonesian woman or stepping up a bit serious.

    Indonesia is a sprawling mosaic of a thousand cultures and ways of life. There are 300 ethnic groups and we are completely fucking different culturally. Yall know generalization of any sort dangerous. But bule's stereotypical here in Indonesia are laughable. I'm sorry to say most of bule's woman literally ugly as fuck and they came from low social class. Seriously man I believe you can get better woman rather than ugly hookers

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  171. I am agree with Oky,.. maybe because not easy for expats men find nice young lady in their country while here is almost everywhere kind with expats even old ugly guy.. its about how and where you find your girl. i jakarta

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  172. I am a Indonesia, I want to give a simple opinion relating to the above article.I am the type of girl that is liberal, not a classic girl, likes to have fun but I am not a whore.:p

    is my advice to you all,I have many female friends like on the article.

    MONEY:Indonesian women who either abstinence to ask for money, cars, houses, or even just ask for pay-eating or watching.and it will be consistent until the time you are getting intimate,at another time a woman would dare to ask for something if you had an intimate relationship and are comfortable.
    © tradition dating in Indonesia are generally male pay in full all the bills eat, watch, or his beer. but a fortune if you find a woman who wants to share to pay.
    © bule you do not be sad, not just you who is treated as such. Indonesian men also experienced the same thing.
    © at the beginning of the relationship Indonesian men will be lost respect when getting his girlfriend "asked to buy something,or money"
    © if you invite a woman to vacation, eat, or a party that has a sense you are ready to bear all the costs that exist.
    © do not ever give money if your relationship is aged 1-7 months,but are allowed to give a gift if you do not want to say stingy.

    © if differences in men 10-15 years. the relationship is still considered reasonable. Indonesian women really like going out with an older man on top of at least 2-6 years. but I personally have never questioned the age of love can come to anyone.

    © about religion would be very hard if you meet up with his family. you must convert, or any other way you should have a baby before marriage. hehe

    wherever you can find bad people. not all women like party is not good.you just have clever bit.

    Thanks


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  173. Clichè and found a lot of those issues but still Iam waiting for the right causian men to be my future husband as I've never get attracted by local man. It's not about money, size or those stuff you said on that articel but I wanted to have a buke man since I was young lol

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    1. Obviously you didn't understand what I wrote. I wrote about the issues that are sometimes affecting the relationship between foreigners and Indonesians. I am not saying that Indonesian women are attracted to money.

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  174. I stumbled across this article by accident and thought I would make a comment on here. After reading many comments. NO not all of us Expats or Bules are the same I came here 5 years ago and still here. I came here from USA just to try living in different place in the world.. I have been all over the world to many countries. I did'nt come here for Money I thought what the heck I' give it a try because of the economics... And so far I have seen things on both sides on what you call the party girls and I seen it on the good girls side as well.. To start with for those who will even talk to a expats. Its mainly all about getting a selfie pic..AND no I am not one of those ugly fudgly type guys just a Normal American. I don't mind doing my fair share as long as I get some thing in return. But to do nothing but pay sorry No American in there right mind would do such a thing. Besides working here is not like in my country I make 5 times less here...I am a I T tech hehehe my old work place in USA was NASA.. Thats right sending things to the moon and space. If money is what I wanted I would have stayed in the USA..But with that said I am finding it harder and harder to live here. alot of it is UNEDUCATED people...And I truely mean this, even those educated here are not anywhere close to a USA education I have learned this time and time again. Values are way different. And hate to say it but number 1 things on most indos mind here YES is nothing but money. Where to me I could care less about it. As long as I have what i want and need. But I don't need a women thinking I am "Bank of America"...Just because I am a expat. Sad thing is its not just dating women its friends as well. I have now gotten to the point I work go out to eat alone ride my motorcycle around then go to sleep and repeat.. American are raised to be on time for things its how we are. OMG here lol 90% are late for dates for work even just hanging out if they even show up hehehehe. But I find it funny how indos take so many things from the USA such as Muisc, its nice the like the songs but sad they don't know what most of them are about. Like the other day I was watching MNC channel a kind of religious show and they have a Eminem song playing in the back ground lol I had to laugh. If they only knew what the song meant. Trust me there is nothing religious about Eminem..... so any way it is what it is some of us expats are way different.

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    1. Do you like living here then, or maybe even enjoy it? From your comment it seems that you maybe dont, not really, if i may assume. Indonesian, most of them, are very friendly and kind, hospitable people, with regards that you are being respectful to them in return. Sorry to say, but from what I observe, not many foreigners who come here have the same respect toward the culture, etc. Many even feel 'superior'that they think they may apply their lifestyle here hoping to get the same outcome as what they get at their home countries, but unfortunately they dont, got rather schocked, and then start complaining. Understandable, since they also come from diffrent background of culture as well. Indonesia has just gained its independence for almost 70 years. With more than 240 millions people, it is not easy to manage things up to some foreigners expectations. You need to deal with multicultural environments which is very unique, and in which every ethnic group has their own saying.
      Anyway, sorry for the rant, i know its a bit out of topic. As a local, i can only hope that foreigners at least willing to provide themselves with enough infos about the culture itself, maybe learning a bit, before considering coming here or even living here to get better understanding, so that they can give fair judgments to the locals, etc.

      Cheers,
      N.A

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  175. Money is not a problem if the girl from middle class.
    religion is also no a problem if you will live outside indonesia.
    Made my indonesian wife from light muslim into agnostic with the help of my atheism and the truth she can see about islam (cant see it in Indonesia).
    Already 3 years married and happy.

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  176. I am an Indonesian woman, I came from lower class family (whatever u wish to call it). I got my degree from the top university in Indonesia in Engineering. My husband is british citizen, he is partially deaf because meningitis, and I really love him even he doesnt have any "shinny" job. We have 9 years age gap, had relationship for 10 months, enggaged for 2 years, and have been married for 18 months and always happy. Now he is working as a lecture and I am trying to get my PhD done in one of British school. In my personal opinion, everything is really depends on that person. I believe the key of relationship is communication. My husband and I always tell each other stories everyday and we always make an effort to explain clearly about what dont we understand, only then we can cracked the problems. If one of us stop making an effort that is the end of relationship.

    So many worthy Indonesian women guys, you probably need to change they way you meet them. Try to look for them in other places not bars shall we?

    Ps. Iam not saying girls in bars are not good 😊

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  177. I always think when Indonesian girls can stop seeing that expats are superior than your own Indonesian guy/man? Dont you realize that keeping our melayu race is one of state souvereignity

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  178. I think this is total bullshit. I heard many times before. Different culture. I disagree. All ladies, country not matter. Let's say women globally. Deserve to be treat well, respect. If guys worried financialy, don't date at all. Australian women no different to Indonesian women. Except Australia has many bad behavior, such heavy drinking culture. Drunk women. Not good. Besides this, if dating lady. Treat her right. Stop worrying about bullshit stuff. Paying money, bills, ect. You find no complaints , if you just stop concerns about money issues. Also if you old, she is young. You deserve to be ripped off by her. Dirty old men, date around your own age. What sane young girl, like about ugly old guy. Think about it

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