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Finding a Sugar Baby or Daddy in Indonesia (Bali, Jakarta, etc)

By Thibaud (Jakarta100bars)
In the past few years, new words have emerged in the world of online dating: "Sugar Baby" and "Sugar Daddy".

Typically, a Sugar Baby is a young girl who, in exchange for money or gifts, gets involved in a romantic/sexual relationship with a wealthy older man (Sugar Daddy). Compared to normal prostitution or escort services, it is closer to a girlfriend experience, albeit a more straight-forward and open-minded one. Sugar babies will also normally expect to benefit from the experience and maturity of their "daddies" through mentorship. Some girls, for instance, may need help to start a business or to build a professional network.

This kind of relationship is something that has always existed in Indonesia, long before the internet was widespread. Stories of married men dating younger girls for money are quite common in the country, much more than in the Western world. I remember that back in the late 1990s, the father of my ex-girlfriend had gone bankrupt because he had bought a house and a car for his 19-year-old mistress. I know dozens of similar stories and if you are an Indonesian, you probably know them too.

How to explain that?

Simple: The supply of young Indonesian girls who are looking for a way to make some cash is huge.

They are generally from the middle-class. Not dirt poor, but clearly without enough money to afford things like a brand-new iPhone, trips to Bali, dining out in nice restaurants, or studying in college. For many, the only way they can rise above their current condition and enjoy a more luxurious lifestyle is to find a man who will pay for it.

Social media, and especially Instagram, have made some girls even more eager to get gifts and money. To gain more likes and followers, they need to post interesting pics of fancy dinners and exotic trips. Just posting a photo of their lunch at the warung is not what will make them popular. These girls will jump on an invitation to an expensive restaurant, a trip to Bali, or even to your room if you stay in a 5-star hotel.

With the development of internet and dating apps, the Sugar Baby phenomenon has become much more mainstream. It is now easier for both sides, guys and girls, to find a partner with whom an arrangement can be made.

If you are curious to understand how it works, this review was written for you. Here you'll find all you need to know about how to meet a Sugar Baby or Sugar Daddy in Indonesia, how much it costs, and how to avoid problems. Please leave a comment at the end of the article if you have a personal experience to share.

The Cost of Having a Sugar Baby in Indonesia
In the mindset of an Indonesian man, it is obvious that if he is dating a young pretty girl, he will have to provide for her. It's not a written rule, but that's just how it goes in 90% of relationships. This is particularly true if he is already married: In most cases, the money will compensate for the fact that he cannot marry a second time.

The prettiest and youngest girls are extremely prized in Indonesia. If they really want, the ones who are after money can easily get a house, a car, branded bags, and a generous monthly allowance. It helps that there is always a lot of corruption money waiting to be spent in cash.

The cost of maintaining a sugar baby doesn't have to be that high, though. A girl I talked to on the dating site IndonesianCupid told me that she was happy with just IDR2 million per month (basically the cost of her room). In her case, she didn't consider it prostitution, but more like a "boyfriend with benefit" or FWB (friend with benefit) relationship. She wanted to be with a guy she loved and who loved her, but she also wanted him to help her when needed. That was straight-forward of her to say that, but that's how most relationships in Indonesia work anyway.

Sugar baby or not, having a girlfriend in Indonesia will almost always cost you money, except if you are stingy or dating someone with a completely western mindset (and a good job). The man is expected to pick up the bill in almost every situation, whether it is a trip to Bali or some drinks at a bar.

How to Find a Sugar Baby or Sugar Daddy in Indonesia?

Finding a sugar baby in Indonesia is quite easy, especially if you know the right websites and apps.

Important: It might be difficult to access some websites from Indonesia because of government restrictions. To avoid any issues, you should subscribe to a VPN.

Secretbenefits.com (Sponsored)
Secret Benefits is an American-based sugar baby website with currently over 2.75 million unique monthly visitors. Until now, their strongest market has been the US, but they are rapidly expanding to other countries, especially in Asia.

I noticed they have a fair amount of girls in Singapore and Hong Kong. For Jakarta, the number of profiles is limited but they are interesting.

The main advantage of this website compared to its competitors is that they use a credit system instead of a monthly fee. This means you will only pay if you want to message a girl. If you just want to look at the girls’ photos or description, it is 100% free.

SeekingArrangement.com
SeekingArrangement is the best website in Indonesia (and in the world, probably) to meet a hot and smart sugar baby. It has several million members, with currently 3,000 girls listed in Indonesia (and tens of thousands more in Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, etc).

When you register for free, you can already access the girls photos, their profiles, and see what they are looking for (money, free trips, dates, etc). If you like someone and you would like to send her a message, you will have to become a member. It's quite expensive (starting at 79$ per month), but because of that, there are only a limited number of men on the platform and you will get much more attention from each girl. It's no wonder their slogan is "10 girls for every guy".

What is interesting with SeekingArrangement is that almost all the girls there are educated and interesting to talk to. They will reply to your messages much faster and with much more enthusiasm than on other websites like Tinder or Indonesian Cupid. They will easily accept a date, even if you are only on a business trip to Jakarta. Just don't be too creepy when you talk to her: Avoid asking for sex after just a few messages. Instead, behave like a gentleman who wants to enjoy good company, and show the girl that you can be a good mentor to her.

As I mentioned before, mentoring is indeed another important aspect of the Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship. On SeekingArrangement, money is not the only thing that matter and some girls also want a mature guy because they just feel more attracted to them.

Here is the typical example of a random girl's profile on SeekingArrangement:
Here are the search results for Jakarta and Bali sugar babies (you can filter by age, ethnicity, education, weight, age, children, relationship status, etc):

Pros:
➝ Few guys, many girls => high reply rate
➝ Best girls: Hot, smart, educated, friendly and well-traveled for most
➝ The verified profile feature limits the number of fakes girls and scammers
➝ It is also a good way to find a classy young girlfriend who is into older men
➝ Very complete profiles with many filters to find the woman of your dream
➝ International website meaning you can search for girls all over the world, not only in Indonesia

Cons:
➝ Expensive and elitist
➝ Cannot message a girl without paying

IndonesianCupid.com
IndonesianCupid is part of the Cupid group, a famous dating company with several specialized websites like FilipinoCupid, AsianDating, Muslima, ThaiCupid and VietnamCupid.

It is not a specialized "sugar baby/sugar daddy" website, but it is popular with Indonesian girls who want to date foreigners. I would say that a large majority of its female users are open to the idea of having a boyfriend who doesn't live in Indonesia and will visit them only from time to time. Their ultimate goal is to get married, but they won't mind a more casual romantic relationship before that.

The way to approach a girl on IndonesianCupid is less straightforward than on SeekingArrangement. You should not talk about money, but say that you are looking for a relationship with an Asian woman with whom you can travel and hang out.

The money aspect is often secondary on IndonesianCupid, but still, it will help if you mention that you have a stable job and that you can support someone financially.

Compared to SeekingArrangement, I recommend IndonesianCupid if you are more interested in a romantic relationship instead of just companionship.

It is free to register and browse profiles but to access some functionalities, you will need to pay a membership fee starting at 25$ per month.

Tip: Don't hesitate to look for girls who are located in more provincial cities of Indonesia like Bandung, Surabaya and Medan. They have millions of inhabitants but very few foreigners so you are certain to stand out in these locations.

Pros:
➝ Large database of users with tens of thousands of Indonesian girls available.
➝ Perfect for mature Westerners who want to meet a younger lady for a romantic relationship
➝ A high ratio of girls to guys
➝ You can also access the profiles of girls living in other Asian countries which is great if you travel a lot
➝ Desktop websites = convenient to those who don't like to type on a smartphone
➝ Money is secondary

Cons:
➝ The user interface of the website is a bit old-fashioned
➝ The features are limited for free users (you can only message your matches)
➝ No mobile app

This website has a large base of users in the US, with a growing presence in Asia. I didn't manage to find the exact number of Sugar Babies in Indonesia, but there are at least several hundreds. It is also strong in countries like Singapore, Hong-Kong and the Philippines.

Its interface lacks simplicity and you will need some time before getting used to it. It is worth trying, though, as you get a free membership for your first few days.

Overall, I would recommend this website for those looking for a Sugar Baby in Asia, not particularly in Jakarta or Bali.

Pros:
➝ Free trial period
➝ American-owned website with 4 million members (and 2,000 new ones daily)
➝ A ratio of 4 girls for 1 guy
➝ About 3,000 sugar babies based in Asia

Cons:
➝ A bit difficult to use
➝ Not too many girls based in Indonesia

Most girls on Tinder are looking for a normal relationship, and many will mention "No hookup/no ONS (one night stand)/no FWB (friends with benefits)" on their profile.

A few girls only will say that they are looking for a sugar daddy (or more discreetly, they will write stuff like "take me to dinner, take me to Bali, etc).

The problem of Tinder compared to the websites mentioned before is that you cannot talk to a girl if you haven't matched with her. Even if you match, you will need to hope that she will reply to you and give you enough attention. This is especially true with the most beautiful and young girls who receive dozens of messages every day. Since most features of Tinder are free, you have to face tough competition and therefore it is much harder than on an elitist website like SeekingArrangement.

To improve your chances of matching with the profiles of sugar babies, you should be straight-forward and mention clearly what you are searching for. For instance, something like "Mature man, looking for a sexy girl to accompany me on my trip to Indonesia. Will pay for travel, hotel, dinner and other expenses".

Be careful, though, as you will most likely match with plenty of hookers and scammers as well (always ask for a video call on Line or WhatsApp before making a move).

Pros:
➝ You can message girls for free
➝ Location-based app, meaning you can match with girls who stay near from you and that are easy to meet in real life
➝ A very large database of users (but much, much more guys than girls)

Cons:
➝ A rather low reply rate from girls who tend to be overwhelmed with matches and messages
➝ If you don't pay for a boost, you will only get a few matches per day
➝ Girls are generally not interested to talk to you if you don't live in Indonesia

For more information on the topic of dating in Indonesia, you can also read my articles:
- Online dating sites and apps in Indonesia
- Online prostitution is booming in Indonesia
- Online prostitution is booming in Asia

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