The following guide is a datasheet with all the essential information you'll need to know about meeting and dating Indonesian girls.

It's a list of questions that people have asked me over time. I tried to answer them as concisely as possible so you won't lose time reading it. If you still have interrogations, please ask them in the comment section below.

What Are the Best Cities to Meet Indonesian Girls?

1) Jakarta and its suburbs (Bekasi, Depok, Tangerang)
The whole metropolitan area has 35 million inhabitants in total. That's probably several million single women. No need to say more. 

Considering the sheer size of this megalopolis, it is essential to stay near the city center, preferably along Jalan Sudirman, to make it easier for girls to meet with you.

2) Surabaya
The second city in Indonesia with over 3 million people. It's a rather clean city, well-managed, and affordable. Very few foreigners live there. Surabaya girls are reputed to make excellent girlfriends or wives.

3) South Bali
The area between Kuta, Seminyak, Canggu, and Denpasar attracts Indonesian girls from all over the country. Many are looking to marry foreigners. They tend to be more open-minded, which is one of the reasons they left their hometown and moved to Bali.

4) Bandung
Only 3 hours away from Jakarta, Bandung is the capital of West Java and the third largest Indonesian city. It is home to a large student population. Sundanese girls are considered among the most beautiful in Indonesia.

What are the Best Dating Apps for Indonesia?
There are dozens of dating apps and sites to meet Indonesian girls, but only a few of them have a really large database of users. My favorite ones are the following:

1) Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid
Thousands of profiles available. Most girls on these apps expect you to live in Indonesia so it might not be great if you're only passing by. They work best with guys who are young and good-looking.

Those apps are extremely popular with Indonesian guys as well so you'll probably need to pay something extra to promote your profile and be seen by more girls.

IndonesianCupid is perfect for men who are not living in Indonesia. It's a more traditional match-making website, with a focus on personality more than looks. Recommended to prepare for a trip. Free to register here.


What Are the Best Clubs to Meet Indonesian Girls?
Shishi, La Favela

Basque, Loewy, Boca Rica, Fable, Dragonfly

What Are Indonesian Girls Like?
While each girl is different, there are certain personality traits that you will find in most Indonesian girls. This is especially true for those who belong to the middle class and who were educated in Indonesia. That's because they were raised in a similar environment, with modest means, in rather conservative and religious families.

Here are some traits that are characteristic of Indonesian girls:

- Easy-going, cheerful: Indonesians usually have a positive outlook on life. As long as there is enough food on the table, they will be in a good mood to laugh, joke and tease.

- Kind, generous: She should be genuinely concerned about your well-being. Also, she won't hesitate to help a family member or a friend who needs a handout. Unfortunately, it might be done using your money.

- Religious, superstitious: She is most likely to be a believer. The ones who date foreigners may more open-minded, but still, they'll ask their boyfriend to convert if there is a difference of religion. It is also very likely that she will believe in ghosts.

- Reserved, touchy: She might be shy to express feelings or emotions. That can become an issue within your couple if she doesn't tell you when she is angry at you for instance. It is often difficult to criticize her without causing drama. Always be very careful with your words.

- Group and Family-oriented: In general, her behavior will tend to match her family and her communities' expectations. Being unique or original is not valued as much as in the West.

- Strong: The average Indonesian girl probably had a much tougher life than the average Western girl. As a result, I believe they have a unique ability to overcome hardships.

- Pragmatic: She will accept and be satisfied with a situation that is not ideal, as long as it fulfills her most important requirements (economic security is often the main one).

Do Indonesian Girls Like Foreigners?
I received this question dozens of times, from people of various ethnicities: White, African, Indian, Arab, Turkish, Chinese, etc.

Indonesians tend to categorize people based on their skin color, with "white" being the most desirable. Caucasians, also called bule, clearly have an advantage, though not all girls like them (read Indonesian Girls Who Never Date Foreigners). Latinos and Turkish people are often considered "bule".

Japanese and Koreans are also popular, partly due to the influence of their culture (Korean dramas, movies, mangas, K-Pop, J-Pop, etc).

With Arabs, it depends if you are a Moroccan, a Saudi, or a French of Arab descent. The latter will be considered as a bule. The others might be attractive to more conservative girls. Being Muslim is usually an advantage with Muslim girls, for obvious reasons.

Darker skins, especially Indians and Africans may have more difficulties. I have heard countless time girls telling me they wouldn't date black people.

That said, skin color isn't everything. I know white guys who can't get Indonesian girls, and I know black ones who manage to score every night. What's their secret? They are friendly, well-educated, well-dressed, polite, handsome, and they have good jobs.

Overall, being a foreigner may help or hinder you, depending on your ethnicity/nationality. But in the end, you can still make a difference with your personality/personal situation.

What Are the Dos and Don'ts When Dating An Indonesian Girl?
If you are dating an Indonesian girl, here are a few recommendations:

- Pay for her drinks/food/movie ticket
I think you should always invite her unless she has a high-paying job or she comes from a rich family. If she insists to pay, just tell her that she can buy you coffee later.

If you don't want to pay for her, then choose an affordable restaurant with prices that match local salaries (you can consider that IDR 5 million per month is considered a pretty good salary for a young Indonesian in her 20s).

- Don't dress like a tourist
Jakarta is a business city, it's not Bali. Short pants and flip-flops are only acceptable on weekends. For the rest of the week, make the effort to dress up.

- Meet her in a bar/café/restaurant that has AC
The outside air in Jakarta is hot and polluted. If you don't want to look like a mess after a 1-hour dinner, choose a venue that has AC.

- Don't make derogatory comments about Indonesia
Talk about Indonesia in a positive way. Don't spend your time complaining as it will make her feel embarrassed.

I remember a terrible date I had where I started talking about how corrupt the Indonesian police was, and then the girl started crying because her dad was a policeman.

- Don't criticize her religion
A very touchy topic that often ends up with a disagreement. You won't change her view, so what's the point?

- Don't tell her she is skinny, short or dark
While you may mean that as a compliment, Indonesians usually perceive those as criticism.

Should I Send or Give Money to My Girlfriend?
Unless you are dating a rich Indonesian girl, there will probably come a time in your relationship where money becomes an issue.

While it may seem normal to pay for dinners or trips, you may feel uncomfortable sending her or giving her money. After all, it is not a common thing to do in Western countries (unless your girlfriend is a sugar baby).

In Indonesia, on the contrary, it is considered normal for a boyfriend to pay for certain expenses (accommodation, phone, school fees, etc) or to give money. It is a form of commitment, and also a way to show you care and understand her situation.

Personally, I don't see any problem with that, and I've helped a few exes in the past.

Still, there are some precautions you may want to take before heading to the ATM, especially if you don't have a lot of money for yourself already.

For instance:
- Can you be sure that she is not giving the money to someone else (an Indonesian boyfriend, her dad, a friend, etc)?
- Is she honest with you about why she needs money and how she intends to spend it?
- Are there other guys giving her money as well?

What you can do is calculate how much she earns compared to how much she spends. If she is unemployed but possesses the latest iPhone, a car, an apartment, and designer clothes, this means that she almost certainly has one or several generous sponsors.

Don't be naive also. If you met the girl in Bats, CJs, or Dragonfly, or on a sugar baby site like SugarBook, the girl will probably try to extort as much money from you as she can. If you are OK with that (and if you can afford it), why not.

How to Send Money to Your Indonesian GF?
If you live abroad, I suggest using Wise. It's probably one of the cheapest ways to send money to Indonesia.

5 comments to '' Guide to Meeting and Dating Indonesian Girls (2021) "

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  1. Thibaud has done a wonderful job with this website and salute his efforts. However, like most westerners he defines what he sees in Indonesia through those eyes, nothing wrong with that but allow me, a western expat who has been in Indonesia since 1995 to clarify some items:

    1. All Indonesian women place money above love, Indonesians as a whole are NOT romantic this is why florists are busier with funeral arrangements rather than flowers to a sweetheart. If you are a wealthy person from your country then you definitely can marry a wealthy Indonesian if not then their families probably won't allow for such a union. This leaves you with the rest of the common folk.

    2. Most beautiful young Indonesian women who are NOT rich are available to be a "simpanan" (mistress) to anyone who is willing to pay a price commensurate with their station. For example, if you meet an Indonesian woman who has a college degree, a decent job and is pretty then you better have a budget of at least IDR 50M per month. If you dont believe this just take a walk through Kalibata City, Sudirman Park or Thamrin City or any Mediterranea complex and you will see many Indonesian women who spend their weekends alone.

    3. As a foreigner you will always be expected to pay. Every now and again your girlfriend may treat you but it will be at the warung or some other type of cheap eat/drink rather than an all expenses paid night out at Skye for dinner and then onto Dragofly for bottle service. You are nothing more than ATM on two legs, remember, for the local woman it is better to be with an Indo man than a foreigner if all other things are equal (i.e. both make the same salary). Don't ever allow yourself to believe differently or you will stepped on for the rest of your life.

    3. If your Indonesian girlfriend hangs out at the bars/karaoke/disco then be assured that there is a high probability that she is a whore (professional). Regular Indo girls who aren't whores/mistresses don't hang out at bars, it is not part of their culture as muslims. IF your lovely Jakarta rose tells that she only likes to go to BATS for the music, again, rest assured other blokes in BATS have probably enjoyed the same positions in bed with her that you do.

    4. Don't always assume the worst but use your head. Were you always going after foreign women in your home country? Were you always being chased after by women from the wealthiest families in your country? IF the answer is NO then why would you think that that wealthiest women from any country would chase you? Don't be a dummy, most likely you cant even speak Indonesian which means that your girls probably talks with her Indo husband about how much she can get out of you all the while your sitting right next to her--don't laugh this happens more that what people think.

    5. If you really want to enjoy Indonesia then just have fun with the women--do not get serious--the divorce rate in Indonesia is high and marriages to bules almost always end in divorce, not all, but more than 70%! Follow this website and go out, don't waste money taking them to dinner, it is not appreciated, just go straight to the club and be timely with "uang taxi" when she is going home and you will get a good rep. Dont be cheap with the girls at the bars as they will tell everyone at the bar that you are "pelit" and no matter if you are Brad fucking Pitt, you will not be very popular, because, as stated before, money is what moves that girls hips not your stupid sweet talk--she cant understand what you are saying anyway.

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    1. Exactly so. I am not that experienced in the region, but have been visiting and enjoying it for 10+ years, at least 3-4 times a year. And this is the perfect introduction that I wish I had read beforehand. Of course, no problems with learning on my own many mistakes, but nothing lethal. Just many wasted nights, dollars/euros and a few disappointments. Hangovers too, but thats another issue. However, the above comment is the essence of the right approach for a bule/farang to the whole SEA region. And the best way to really accept, enjoy and relax..

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    2. Not all women are the same. What you're saying is from most of the provincial capital women, not from other small areas. There are still many Indonesian women who are more values and love, more than money even we are not from rich family 😊🙏🏻

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  2. Words of wisdom, my man. Could not have done it better myself. Obviously, have the similar experiences and the same overview. But not that long, of course, or not yet. However, that should not spoil the fun, just has to be accepted as it is... Simple

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  3. Who ever posted the advice above is 100% absolutely correct! Marriage between Bules and Indonesian women is almost always destined to fail. If you have met your Indonesian girlfriend in a bar then please do not marry them, you are asking for heartache and trouble. I have recently interviewed a number of Indonesians (women, marriage counselors and lawyers) and current as well as former expats about marriage to Indonesian women and the results are not only heartbreaking but they are tragic. Two of the expat subjects that were part of my interviews over the past five years are now dead, these were men who had successful careers prior to marriage. Another three of the men I have interviewed lost a good deal of their life savings are now raising children alone and in one case have had to resort to sending the children to local schools all while their dear mother has abandoned them so she could run off with another bule to Bali and get married again. The only communication these children have had with their mother is when she sent them a photo of her new engagement ring. The findings from my interviews will be published in an online book that will be announced closer to publication. However, in short, many of the stories include buying a home in the kampung for the parents, having to purchase brand name handbags along with numerous plastic surgeries and salon treatments that if added up could easily be more than a new home. This website paints these women as they truly are and I have found that many expats who end up these unions have only themselves to blame. If your Indonesian girlfriend associates with other gold digging whores, what do you think she is?? One of the interviewees is an Indonesian lawyer in Jakarta, her statement to me was this: "After handling numerous divorces between Indonesian women and foreigners it is very clear that unless they both have a similar level of education, income and shared experiences in their background then the marriage will end in divorce and the foreigner will have no one to blame but himself. In almost every divorce the women tell me if they really wanted to marry for love, they would have married an Indonesian man but the bule men have more money."

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