10 Reasons You are Failing at Tinder

By Thibaud (Jakarta100bars)
Tinder has become the easiest and fastest way to meet girls online, and yet I know a lot of single guys who suck at it.

Even in Asia, they can't get a decent match, and if they do, they fail to transform it into a date or a hook-up. 

Does it sound familiar to you? Are you struggling to meet attractive girls on Tinder because they rarely match with you or reply to your messages?

If yes, this article will help you identify the reasons you are failing and, more importantly, what you can do about it.

Here is my list of the 10 reasons you may be unsuccessful on Tinder:

You are not handsome
Tinder is an app where you are judged based on your look above anything else. Its users don't read bios. They look at someone's pic, they swipe, and it's only after they've matched that they might consider clicking on the profile.

You can be smart, witty, charming, humorous, caring, etc, it does not matter. In a fraction of a second, a girl can decide that you are not her type and that she never wants to know you, ever. It's sad, maybe even cruel, but that's how it goes.

What to do about it?
If you are not handsome, my advice would be to use more traditional dating sites where your physical appearance is less important.

Women who visit websites like Match.com, E-harmony, Meetic, AsiaDating, are more interested in your personality, your character, your job or your education. The reason for that is simple: They are looking for relationships and not for hook-ups.

If you live in Asia, the websites from the Cupid network are the most recommended: FilipinoCupidIndonesianCupidThaiCupid or VietnamCupid. They allow you to create a complete and detailed profile, to contact any member you want (even if you haven't matched), and to exchange proper emails with them.
Your photos are a turn-off
I know a few guys who are either too lazy or too arrogant to upload decent pictures of themselves. They just take a selfie from their sofa and that's it. It might work if you look like Ben Affleck, but if you don't, you better search your computer for more interesting images.

What to do about it?
- Use better photos, at least 4 of them, where you don't appear to be a creep or a loner
- Connect your Instagram account to your Tinder

You didn't write a profile/bio
Again, unless you are really hot-looking, you need to write a little something about yourself in the bio section. At the very least, just say where you are from, what is your occupation and what you are looking for on Tinder.

What to do about it?
- Spend 10 minutes writing a short text
- Pay someone to write your bio on Fiverr (type Tinder in the search box)

You talk about sex too soon
Too strong, too soon
Tinder started as a hookup app, but nowadays it is more like a regular dating app. Most girls, especially in Asia, are using it to find a normal relationship and they will block you as soon as the conversation becomes too naughty.

What to do about it?
- Avoid texting if you are horny
- You can set the mood, but don't be the first one to talk about sex
- Visit adult dating/hookup sites such as Adult Friend Finder or SeekingArrangement instead

You are a tourist
When a girl asks you: "Do you live here or are you just traveling?", answering the latter often puts an end to the conversation. Being a tourist is probably even worse than being ugly. For most girls, it's a huge turn-off, equivalent to saying that you have chlamydia.

What to do about it?
- If you don't have a soul, you can lie or tell half-truths ("I don't live here but I often visit")
- Focus on dating other travelers and tourists
- Try a more traditional dating site where girls don't mind long-distance relationships (for instance AsiaDating)
You are boring, slow to respond or too conventional
A survey from 2015 found out that only 15% of women using Tinder were actually looking for a relationship. Instead,  39% responded they wanted to boost their egos, 27% to kill time, and 19% were just trying the app out of curiosity.

This confirms something that I have observed myself: Most girls are passive users. Even when they match with a guy, they don't really care enough to engage in a conversation.

What to do about it?
- Try to be entertaining, amusing or original. Girls often ignore boring questions like "Hi, how are you?", "What is your job?", "What do you do on Tinder?", "Where do you live?", etc. 
- If you suck at chatting, keep your conversation on Tinder as short as possible. Be direct: Ask her for her Whatsapp, then invite her for a date straight away.

Girls are filtering you out
Typically, a guy will search for girls, aged between 18 and 55, who live in a 150-kilometer radius. On the contrary, a girl will implement a much stricter filtering: A 5-kilometer radius and an age difference less than 10 years.

This is a problem if you live far from a city center and/or if you are over 40 years old. You see girls who cannot see you. No wonder you rarely get matches.

What to do about it?
- Use a website that lets you contact other members more easily (Match.com, E-harmony, Meetic, AsiaDatingFilipinoCupidIndonesianCupidThaiCupidVietnamCupid, etc).
- Lie about your age
- Change your location on Tinder (this is a paying feature)

The competition is too tough
In some cities, especially in Europe, you can be good-looking with a fine personality and still struggle to get more than a decent match per day. There are just too many guys online and not enough pretty girls.

What to do about it?
- Move to one of these: Best Countries in Asia to Meet Girls Online
- Try another app or dating website among those I mentioned earlier.

Other guys are paying Tinder
As a result of tough competition, more and more guys are now paying to access Tinder's special features. For a few dollars, for instance, they can boost their profiles to gain visibility among female users. With Tinder Plus, you can also swipe an unlimited number of times.

As a result, it becomes easier for them to meet girls, and more difficult for you.

What to do about it?
- Subscribe to Tinder Plus
- Switch to another website. You can get inspiration from this list I wrote: Best Dating Apps and Sites in Asia.

You are too old (and looking for a younger girl)
83% of Tinder users are aged between 18 and 34. If you are over 45, you are unlikely to meet a lot of young, attractive girls. Most will filter you out, and if they don't, you'll have to compete with thousands of 20-something to get a match.

What to do about it?
- If you are over 45 and you want to keep on dating younger girls, you should try meeting Asian girls online. Vietnamese, Indonesian and Filipino girls are known to accept an important age difference in a couple. You can meet them on a website like AsianDating.
- If you have a comfortable financial situation, you can also try "Sugar Daddy" websites like SeekingArrangement or SugarDaddie.com. Basically, girls on these sites expect to get some reward from dating you (gifts, travel, dinner, etc).

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