By Marc, a teacher who lived 5 years in Jakarta.

You are an expat living in Jakarta involved in a relationship with an Indonesian girl? Are you wondering how serious she is with you? We know that the bar scene in Indonesia is very adventurous, and though it is easy to meet a decent girl, you may also end up with someone whose only interest is to suck you dry.

Ayam, man-eaters, etc.. There are a lot of expressions to designate these girls but my favourite term is "Professional Girlfriend": Her job, the one activity that earns her revenue, is to be your girlfriend, or to make you believe she is. And they are great at it because they are pros.

There are some easy things to spot in her behaviour that will help you guess if she's faking the whole thing or not. I listed 10 of them and I hope they will help you realize if yours is on the game or not:

1) You met your girlfriend in a bar in Jakarta: To be honest, if it was a massage parlour, a club in Kota, a bar in Blok M, or a karaoke, there is a 99% chance she is a fake. All girls there will be after your money. Your only chance is that she was in such a place by accident, but that never really happens.

2) Your Indonesian girlfriend protects her phone in an abnormal manner. My ex (which I found out was cheating) was behaving very strangely with her phone: First, the screen was locked with a password. It meant that if she wanted to call someone, she had to type a password first... a real pain in the ass don't you think? Then, wherever she would go, she would always, always take her phone with her: In the toilet, in the shower, in the kitchen... She would never forget it, and if she did, she would come back in a hurry to get it, and she would ask me, worried: Did you take a look at my phone? Clearly, I understand the concept of privacy, but such behaviour is a clear indicator that your Indonesian girl is hiding something.


3) She, who once cheated, will cheat again. If you believe that, then you can ask her about the previous men she was dating. I remember my ex was very confuse about it: She was telling me about her Dutch guy with whom she had been for 3 years, her American guy she had dated for 2 and a half year, her German guy that she had loved for 4 years, etc. She was only 24, but she had had lots of relationships, and long ones. The secret for that, I discovered, was that all of them were dated during the same period of 3 years, at the same time. Don't expect a girl who did that kind of cheating to be nicer with you!

4) She lies all the time to you and to other people. The reason for that is simple: It's hard to be deceptive, and when someone's life is a lie, he cannot always find good excuses for everything. She cannot keep track of all the lies she is saying because it is not possible for a normal human being. Normal girls don't lie because they don't have to and if you indo girlfriend is lying to you; it means that she is not behaving normally. This is not something you want.
Be strict with her: First lie and she's out.

5) Another sign that can help you see if the girl you are dating is having multiple boyfriends: She refuses to talk to you about problems that make her mad/sad/depressed. Usually, she will say she has "problems at home", but don't take her word too seriously: Chances are she is angry because one of the expats she is dating stopped sending her money, or because she fought with her Indonesian guy.

6) When you meet your girlfriend's friends, you realize that all of them have a rich expat boyfriend, and most of them are cheating on him. When you talk about this to your girl, she demonstrates full support for her friends, and you even feel that she thinks it's normal. She will tell you that you are different, because your love is so special, etc.. Be smart and ask yourself if this is the kind of world you want to live in.

7) The sex part is tricky: It is very easy for a girl to fake orgasm, or at least pleasure. Also, it won't be difficult for her to make you believe she is attracted to you physically and that she enjoys having sex. I don't think you should put to much emphasis on it, but still, if you have the feeling that for her having sex with you is a chore, you are right to be suspicious. You may also see that she uses sex to get things from you or to make you forgive her. This is never a very good sign of a healthy relationship...


8) You feel in your gut that something is wrong. This is the most important sign of all. You feel that your Indonesian girl is not being faithful, for tons of reasons that adds up. You may be in love and you are doing everything you can to believe her lies, but it actually makes you feel down to think you can be that stupid. There are no reasons to feel ashamed because you love someone, even a bargirl/prostitute, but at one point, you need to protect yourself from your girlfriend because miracles don't happen: Trust your instinct, and make a courageous decision.

9) She is extremely jealous, and I mean jealous like crazy. She doesn't trust you one bit, and never gives you any freedom when you want to go out with your friends in bars or night clubs. Once again, it's not hard to understand her behaviour: How can you trust someone when you cannot be trusted?

10) She doesn't give a damn about you: She misses many of your calls, she does not reply to your emails, or she does not try to gain your trust... You feel you are giving her all the time but you don't get anything in return except sex once in a while (if she sees you're angry). This is not a normal relationship, stop listening to all her bullshit about love, and make an objective analysis of your relationship with her: Is this woman making you happy? What does she like about you exactly that other expats don't have? Do you feel that she values you?

Jakarta is a decadent city: Male expats cheat on their wife and they end up with local Indonesian women who cheat on them too. After 5 years leaving in Jakarta, I think I’ve heard 100 hundred of these stories. It is very common for anyone familiar with Jakarta nightlife. Prostitutes are not a precise category of the population like in Europe: Things are more complicated: In any given night club in Jakarta, you will meet many girls who will be ready to sleep with you without giving too much thought about whether they like you or not: You are an expat, presumably rich, and they know they may get what she wants later. Those “prostitutes” do not look like hookers: They are young, cute, and they seem so nice that it is hard to imagine what is behind their smiles: That doesn’t mean you should stop enjoying your time in Jakarta: If the sex with her is good and you are not emotionally attached, I say don't pay too much attention to it, but then protect yourself and do not fall in love. However, if you are looking for a serious partner, then do not tolerate a relationship based on mistrust and lies.

This is not an exhaustive list of all the signs that can exist showing your Indonesian girlfriend is cheating on you. If you have experienced or observed on other expat/bargirl couples some behaviours that could help other readers determine how sincere their relationship is, please feel free to share with us!

202 comments to '' 10 Signs Your Indonesian Girl Is Cheating On You "

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  1. On gut feelings:

    Asking her about a photo in which she's dressed up sexy, she explains how she used to go out to BATS a lot with her girlfriend because "they had a really good band."

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  2. dude, they are all hookers... so, no wonder they treated like that. and about the hoes in Bats. i just cant imagine it. high-class bar with low-class hoes?! WTF?! im teenager btw.

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  3. in my observation for so many years, if you want to have a quite serious relationship but still wanna have some fun with her, this is so obvious. there's something wrong with your criteria.

    first thing to know, you should find this cute chicks (NOT HOOKERS ofcourse), at the HIGH-END BAR, or ak.sara bookstores, or lounge cinema, Q billiard, five-star hotel dining, or other high-end area.

    they must be young (between 19-24y.o), they must be quite well-educated, in my observation they must be Chinese. then, i can deff guarantee 99,9% they wouldn't cheated on you.

    for the first time, they usually pretending that they don't like you& don't talk too much (but u know what? DEEP DOWN INSIDE, THEY ACTUALLY LOVE YOU) !

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    1. I'm a chinese indonesian 21 year old woman and it's pretty accurate, even when i only reply with a k and a :) i've fallen in love with you.

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    2. Racist, i''ve seen plenty native Indonesian ladies that is well educated that is not Chinese that would not cheat on their BF. So i call this bullshit to pick on just one race.

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    3. Dude its not racist its fact...there r lots of educated native indonesian women but by population they are the largest in the country! Indo chinese women are minority and 99%of them are well educated. You break it down by population off course there are more well educated indo chinese vs native indonesians. Dont get offended by facts..its just like saying criminals done by white in usa is way higher than black...off course! White is the majority by population and if you breakdown the number you can see that crimes done by black are higher than white and even shockingly crimes committed by black to another black are higher vs white to black.

      I'd say in every 10 native indo female, 2 are well educated and in every 10 indo chinese female 9 are well educated. Wanna prove? Look at where their chinese parents sent their daughter to study? Definitely Cali, seattle or boston....

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  4. I am curious to know only one thing STD and HIV that you can pick up from the so call girlfriends or prostitutes. Are these things not rampant in Jakarta? Can some one out there who have done the survey explain more?

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  5. You will end up like this because you got your girl in bars or clubs... Get Real!

    Those girls are just for fun.Indonesian girls generally dont do clubbing.

    Decent girls dont club,drink and bar, and they are still pretty and smart!

    These are the one you should get.

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    1. Right! And they dont make intercourse before getting married.

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  6. Great blog mate..your telling it how it really is. I was lucky I met a working girl from a village originally....who was just doing it to survive...got over it..fell in love..and things are great....been married two years..living back at her village with her.

    It has been a learning curve for me as well...prior to this I was married to an American..who was ripping me off..lying cheating ..the works.

    Then I met my soul mate...I dont even think about her past...beacuse I had my fair share as well...and I know in my heart she truly loves me...that old gut feeling you described...has since left..and I would trust her with my life..and bank account...she accounts for ever cent I give her.

    I told my old mate back in the USA about how lucky I had been..in finding a good mate...and he comes over...meets a girl from up this way....an ex village girl...and they clicked...then later the signs started to show...he went back to the US..she sneaked back to Jakarta...and ripped him off for about 12 months and 20 grand later..similar stories with bule ex's etc..that you described.

    It has broken his heart..and I said he was very un lucky...but after reading your blog...he is just a statistic..by the looks of it...she was pretty smooth...but fucked up with Visa papers..and they asked for a criminal check...and thats when I clued up on to her...she just started stalling with things...and we finally blew her cover..too late though..she has since disappeared...even after they Married..here.!

    So bule's beware..this guy is spot on with advise...dont be fooled by looks..they are as vicious and cunning as any women..world wide..and will strip you dry...if things seem serious..do a back ground check..ask for a police check..etc...check to see if she already has a passport...see if she has been engaged before...she will advise you to go back home and send her money for family..etc..then somebody will die..thats a good one....etc..if she doesn't agree to this....beware mate's..your the next victim.!!

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  7. ..And I thought women were jaded...but it's nice to know men have hearts too.

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  8. im an indonesian girl, n im quite bothered by ur article, but not that i disagree
    what u've writtten might be true n im sorry that happened to u, but for u to know there r more decent indonesian girls then the vise versa as long as u find them in the right place...i mean come on!!u go to the nightclubs n hoping find a good girl there???
    well first thing to know is that, indonesia unlike most of western countries...there what the so called good girl is normal for them to hang out in a night club, but here in indonesia night club normally for the naughy. im not surprised u had such an experience since u found them in sort of place.
    well, im indonesia girl, 25, dont do free sex,n im real...not that i never have any relationship with men, but becuz that is my principal...n i guarantee in many part of indonesia (even in jakarta )there still many girls who doesnt seek a relationship only for money.u just never meet them!!
    btw try to get a long with more ppl outside the clubs, u'll c the different

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  9. i have to say one thing, please don't pretend you don't know who you are dating and don't pretend you got hurt, from all the pic in this article, you can tell what kinda girl they are straight away, as for girls going clubbing, i don't see anything wrong with them, it doesn't make them bad, and i ask guys, why do you go clubbing ? beside i think you are stereotyping Indonesian girls. it so sad. get real. everyone can cheat on you, you just had a bad experience that's all. everyone does.

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  10. wow...i see what this guy is saying..my gal exhibits 7/10 of the signs! I didn't met her in jakarta though. i am particularly bothered by her missing my calls and the lies though there are no way to proof them unless engaging a p.i and sent him to jakarta..am rather vexed recently as she is now away from me for 6mths. I wanted to be serious about her but such incidents bother me loads.

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  11. Look who wants a whore for girlfriend. I have dated Jakarta women- picked up in bars made them mine- but then again I was a pimp on younger days. So, know how to control bitches- given alcohol, pot, slap when they need - even punked their Indonesian boyfriend- but if you are a chump -do go for a farm girl

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  12. hiya blk agent here ! iv been lucky my gf is not from jakarta i did take he to a club she did not even dance or drink she did tell indo girl are not into clubing the good ones anyhow and i can she is from west java but she likes hiphop music no techno no jazz she a happy simple friendly person with her own mind and always lookout for me iv never ever had this whitout haveing to pay for it in my life she made good friends with my mother b4 she died and is good mates whit my sister on fb all things are looking good i did not meet her in a bar or club i met her online in a fb type site we both have since left it and both are on fb only my other mate fell for a 21 yo indo girl she look great we all when to redsqr together alot of bule men seem to know her face made my mate upset told him to get away from her but he not listen to me at all his white older guy nice man with a big hart we all wait to see wat happens next she shows most of the signs you talk about

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  13. just found and read this article. havent really read the whole, but can see the big picture.

    at some degree, i agree on some points. especially after last night, i went out to CJ in Mulia with 2 colleagues. That was the 1st time i went there.

    I never thought it would be that disgusting. These girls were wearing shitty hookers dress. It was just disgusting even to see their attitudes.

    and its true that even ugly looking fatty bule could pick one easily. Just an eye contact, and she's all yours. and looking at them dancing on the floor was just awful...gross :(

    but of course, at some point this article seem pointing out to 'all indonesian girls'. I find it quite offensive.

    I'm Indonesian girl, I'm working at the biggest IT co, am well educated, am faithfull and honest, but my ex boyfriend - a bule - cheating on me. He met another Indo girl. And this is not the first time, so what i'm saying is, regardless what Bule have done, theyre never the same...

    so yes, I agree with one of the sayings that - whoever who writes this article...You just havent met the good one. All youve met and apparently you might meet in clubs, are just bad girls...

    and what you mention, again, these all depend on each individual. not all Indonesian girls are like taht.

    I think not just in Indo, same in Philipine and Thailand...
    Somewhat, these countries are just like candy stores for kids....

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  14. Haha, spot on. For some reason I don't feel sorry for the men thinking that they are handsome by having lots of girlfriends (that he pays, pathetically), while they are actually the prey.

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  15. First, It is 10 signs your GIRL is cheating on you. You definitely need to drop the "Indonesian" label there.
    Any girl on earth who is cheating on you in a relationship most likely will show these symptoms ;)

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  16. I can tell, your skin is probably orangey from over tanning, you wear 'i love bali' or 'djogjakarta' t-shirt often, donned probably a fake oakley sunglasses, and you speak indonesian well with a westerner accent....

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  17. Do you ever else where but bars and clubs?

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  18. just like the bar women in Australia

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  19. I read with great interest the article posted here. I too was, at one time, a part of that statistic. Well my relationship , started in a bar when a girl approached me. That was the start of my 8 months of hellish relationship,where she sucked me dry financially and sexually. The relationship was exactly as described in "10 Signs". It was an expensive lesson but I managed to get through it. Had the courage to dumped her after I found out she was 3 timing me.

    While this may not be specific to Indonesia but it is rampant. And if you notice most of them are single mothers looking for money to support her kids or family. Occassionally you will find that some of these girls still legally married and had the tacit understanding with their husband to work at clubs. something which is a real culture shock me.

    I agree that not all the girls out there wants to suck you dry financially. Yes you can find "true" love with an Indonesian girls. Its just a case of pay now or pay later. One way or another you still pay the price.

    You will not find any advise here but after being bitten once, I've learned to play the game well. Hit and run or touch and go ...whatever you want to name it. The rule for expat is "Never get yourself tied to a one-gina in Indonesia" You will never regret!!

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  20. this article damn right! my indo gf is same. such bitches. but i love her and i made her talk and she told me all her shit.

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  21. Cheating is cheating, no matter where you came from.
    I think most of the time, expats are so full of themselves, they can't really take the fact that even in this so-called third world country, they can just as easily be fooled.
    I say, just man up and gain some characters for your own good, please.
    Don't come crying to mommy if what you enjoy is going to BATS.

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  22. Quantity before quality.
    Just bang them and pretend to love them....
    If you want to find good girls go to the supermarket not the nightclub dumb asses,,,,,.............................

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  23. Had a nice Indonesian girl tell me her friends ask for money so she is not a slut! HAHAHA sometimes the world is werid. Seriously who looks for Love in club? Sex yes Love... You have to be crazy!

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  24. I have to say your 10 signs are a great read and spot on. If I could just add to point 9 - they also get jealous as they don't want you going out to the clubs when they say they can't be with you that night (problems at home, or supporting a girlfriends who just broke up, sick mum or someother excuse) as you may see her at work in the same bar your often frequent together.


    I most certainly fell into this trap about 3 years ago, but never again! You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl. I know of people who gave up their day job to earn more money on the prowel, these girls work in pairs and cover each other's arse.

    My advice never meet a girl you want to be serious with in a bar, hair salon, star-bucks, the bad ones ares are staking you out, checking out the size of your wallet, and how dumb you are, don't be foiled!

    Get introduced at a wedding, or somewhere more normal. You have been warned.

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  25. hey idiot, you date girls from club, spa, karaoke, whatever, then you end up writing this stupid article.

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  26. If you're looking for a girl to be serious with you won't go to a club to hook her up!!! It's a place to HAVE FUN, not serious! And please don't stereotype INDONESIAN GIRLS! Those you met and hurt you are just SOME. Be realistic, boy!

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  27. the truth is acctually the bule man who are cheating everywhere. they have money and power that make them blind about the meaning of true love. also because the temptation is everywhere,bule fallng into a lust and some stupid aggressive woman who are chasing after bule expats,kinna chicken and ready to be eatan and starting the drama realationship. this is an ego, to get your own dream hapinness by sacrificing the real good one for life.

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  28. hey! this is very true. i didnt meet my girl at bar.. we met in ym + fb in the internet. we hd relationship more than a year. she was true to me and more jealous as u said abt indonesian girls. but she was eying on money every time. she is studying in bogor university. she always cry, say unhealthy, poverty, no family.. i thought she is sharing all with me, but she created a sympathy to grab money. at one stage, i found her that she is having an another bf and roaming with him. she hides all. wat she wanted is money and sex from all. she wear scarf, she very strict in religion matters.. but inside, she is very dirty minded. we can believe a hooker well rather this type of girls.

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  29. Hmmm....if you're hanging out at places like BATS or Blok M karaokes...are you surprised at what you end up with? These girls come from poor backgrounds, and they're trying to survive. I don't condone the lying/cheating...but what do you expect?
    There are millions of well-educated, middle/middle-upper class Indonesian women, who have been educated overseas or gotten a good education here. They have good jobs, a lot of them earn pretty high salaries by Indonesian standards and some even earn great salaries by so-called Western standards. But of course you won't meet them at the aforementioned places. Not all them stay at home on Saturday night, but that doesn't make them "bad girls" ( I fu**ing hate those labels anyway). But you know what? Most of the white men who frequent BATS?Blok M these women would never ever in a million years consider dating. They are well aware of expats who love Asia because it's so easy to find local girls to f**k. And they're aware of expats who like living here in the hope of finding a subservient wife. Those are the worst kind and most attractive,well-paid Indonesian women will avoid them like the plague. You reap what you sow, so there.

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  30. I met this girl a real cute one age around 20 23 the most may be a bit older. She was loving caring and treated me very well. this was September 2010. I returned again February 2011. We were in touch by mail phone during this period. I invited to stay over at my hotel and the truble started. I found money was missing from my room. she was also over reacting to give her self sexualy all the time and one day she was missing with my credit card and money.
    On my return back home she never responded to any of my mail phone calla ect. Weeks later there was a call from her informing that she had met with a nasty accident and was in hospial needing money, and also the parents need to be taken care off ect, ect.
    April 2011 i caught her at the same place BATS.
    I recovered from her US380 through an infulencal friend in Jakarta
    So all you guys all indonesian women found in bars and mauls are hookers beaware.

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  31. Do you really expect to find a healthy relationship with girls you meet at bars? Seriously. This is not about Indonesia-thingy. What are you - 18?? You guys should already realize the worldwide fact that healthy relationships do not start from bars, where both parts are far from being sober.

    You guys are just too desperate...

    Cheers.

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  32. I am an Indonesian woman, I am married to "Bule" happily and still is going strong. I have never cheated on him and I do love him so much. I am very well educated and I don't do clubbing nor drinking. I live in the USA for more than 7 years and have an excellet position at the company I work for as one of the engineers. So, I suggest to the writer of this article to remove the "Indonesian" label. It was your fault to look for a girlfriend in a bar. Didn't your momma tell you to never look for a girlfriend/wife in a bar because there won't be any future but a heartache? It was totally your own stupidity and when you're hurt, you blame it on the girls. You need to go back to the middle school level to figure this out. Whatever bar you go, Indonesia or other countries, you'll find such girls like that. You're so retarded to write this stupid article, and I believe you do deserve to be treated that way for being so stupid.

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  33. Hey anonymous, there are 500 other articles on this blog about restaurants, bars, clubs... You don't have to read this one. It is interesting for some people, mainly male expats, who are in relationships with a certain type of Indonesian women. They usually make mistakes when they arrive in Indonesia because they don't know how things work. And I give here some tips.

    If I open a magazine like Cosmopolitan, Elle or Marie-Claire, there are dozens of articles like that about dating/relationship.

    It is no big deal, and if you take your time and read again this article, you will see it is not racist. I'm not talking about Indonesian women in general, but about a certain type of relationship that may happen to expats while in Indonesia.


    Cheers,

    Jakarta100bars.

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  34. Ya, you shouldnt writed the title of the article "Indonesian Girl" that is so accuse.
    Cos' onething that you must know, the Bar and Pub In Indonesia its not only be attained with Indonesian Girl, but they are some woman from foreign counties who work as prostitutes.
    And other you must to aware,.. in every bar or pub,.. there isnt just attented with Suck Girl,.. Poor you found the wrong girl, but its not same with other. They just want to hangout, listen music or need friend.

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  35. it's totally wrong about indonesia girl,,,yeah it's real like that,but not of indonesian girl like that,,i really disappointed with this articles,,i know the writer is indonesia also,SO JUST feel if youre girl,,,,!!!! what you feel???

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  36. I could not read all comments. Too many. I try to put things in a different perspective. I am an Indonesian girl, in Jakarta (not true, I am a man who goes to clubs). Difficult to find a job; if any, serving in a bar, get 1 million rupiah. Working in a salon, a little bit more. I live in a city full of glass skycrapers, cars, traffic and whatever else. The only places where I can stroll are the dept stores: jewels everywhere, Gucci, Prada, Luis Vuitton, luxury everywhere. And cannot get to the end of the month with my salary. I live in a barrack, as large as a garage for a mercedes, with parents, brothers, sisters. Maybe some of my sisters (or myself) have babies. Well, there are places, like the clubs, that are NOT brothels. In a brothel, the customer comes, selects me, and I have to go with him, however disgusting he may be. No, I go to Cj's, in Mulia, where I find just expat with a lot of money, that can afford such hotels. Well, I could be taken anyway by a disgusting man. Easy: "Sorry, go toilet", and disappear, "sorry, I must go to my friend, who is calling me", and disappear. I select the man, so I have even real fun. Ok, I even risk, but not so much, and if I am lucky, in one night, ONE NIGHT, I get the same money, or even more, I get in one month of hard work. Are you sure I am a prostitute?

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  37. Let me ask you bules a question. Suppose you meet a really nice girl, well educated, well behaved, beautiful, independent, and most importantly, like you for who you are and not what you have or what she thinks you have. But, she's not willing to sleep with you because she doesn't practice premarital sex. Would you want to have a relationship with her or would you rather find an easier girl who will sleep with you even though it means she's going to rip you off?

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  38. Very interesting comments here. Just thought would share my experience too. I have been here 3 years and had a steady GF, we do plan to get married soon but what bothers me always is that she asks fr money all the time. I bought her a car, jewellery (every 3 months or so) but it just does not end. Buying stuff seems to be her only hobby and it all has to be branded - branded. I feel like dropping it completely but am so much in love with her. wonder what to do? Are girls in Jakarta like this only? Incidentaly, she comes from a good family and has a degree from Australia.

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  39. One of the definitions of materialism is the theory or attitude that physical well-being and worldly possessions constitute the greatest good and highest value in life. One doesn't have to be poor to be materialistic. Your girlfriend is materialistic, plain and simple. Maybe she was brought up that way, maybe it's her social environment, whatever. It's up to you if you want to keep doing this. But you should ask yourself this question. Will she still be with you if you stop buying her things? If you're going to marry her, don't you think you have to make sure she's going to stick with you through the good times and bad? Just saying...

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  40. To answer the previous comments:
    - About premarital sex: Personally, I don't think I would wait until marriage to have sex with my girlfriend because I'm an adult, not a teenager, who need a sex life to be happy.

    I know among my Indonesian friends many who did not have sex with their future wife before their weddings, but guess what? They would go to spa and massage parlours instead...

    - About Indonesian girls and money:
    My Indonesian girlfriend has less money than me so I buy her stuff once in a while, but it is never an obligation, and I never feel strange about it. I used to date one who was a bit like yours: Asking me frequently to buy very expensive stuff. I think it just depends what kind of girl you are with. But I think Indonesian girls are looking for security, not for an expense account.

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    Replies
    1. Answering your comments:
      It is true that you are not a teenager anymore. But virgins are preferable. Just follow your inner voice.
      It is true that indo men who do not do premarital sex with their future wife, do premarital and extramarital sex with other women, but this is a common case of playboys. And does not happen in Indonedia only.
      Women take money for many reasons regardless their education. Some girls are materialistic and some wants overwhelming security.

      Delete
  41. Premarital sex has nothing to do with you being an adult or a
    teenager. For some women, sex is something they want to do
    after they're married.
    Selfish people cheat on their spouses/partners. They
    should be ashamed of themselves.
    Some women are looking for security, some are looking for
    expense account, some are looking for other things. Let's not
    generalize.

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  42. its not cheating if you can be honest about it.. so rather grow up and agree to not try and OWN each other.. marriage is usually for insecure people that have a problem with the constant changes that we find in this world.. for some locals marriage is just a dysfunctional old relic from half-forgotten cultures, but they stick to it so they wont be disowned by their family..

    good girls CAN be found in a bar (unlikely though)

    and bad girls do go to the supermarket as well..

    (a girl you might rate bad, can be just perfect to another.. its all relative to how much you live in your mind of hopes and desires, or in the real world ie. where you deal with what is)

    my best advice is stop looking so desperately for anything.. accept what is there and deal accordingly.. if you dont like it .. go somewhere else.. alot has to do with your own attitude too, the bule should maybe get their motivation straight and not be such a screaming target, just refuse to pay for sex.. unless thats what you want.

    I agree with most of this article, but I dont agree that its heaven to finally find the village girl who dont cheat..since it imply´s that love is to decide what another person can or cant do... Real love accepts how the person is including future choices.. if it hurts too much you need to be independent enough to say good"buy" and move on. And real love seldom appears when you want it, and go look for it.. love happens on its own.

    also, Life is not about creating the illusion of permanence (in a world with a 100% deathrate).. rather life is about coming to terms with the constant changes that will always be.

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  43. Great article and many great comments. I could not read them all however noted near the top a comment asking of the rates of HIV/ STD's in Jakarta. I'm a doctor and have worked in testing at risk populations in Jakarta ie women in massage parlours, prostitutes (using the more classical definition) waria's, gay, MSM and IV drug users etc...and generally its around 15- 25% positive for HIV. I'm not kidding and that is an alarming rate that the govt does not acknowledge. A note to all who might read this - take care and be safe whatever your situation or preferences.

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  44. applies all over. I met a philippina online, cam sex with her - went to meet her 2 months later, and married her 1 1/2 yrs later. married 3 yrs now. She has lied to me, but i caught her. she has never "cheated in person" but has online , likes to watch men cum, and will show herself.... She is Bi-sexual and I like that. so I get to see her play and I can touch and get BJ's but thats it. i dont mind. she is 29 now and me i am 57. she doesnt ask for much but i do support the family ($600/month) she can work but prefer she doesn't my choice. not hers.
    Am I being taken? perhaps - a bit but she has kids and they love me so i think it's pretty safe to say she knows i will leave if she does anyhthing without me being present - we are pretty open but the rule is together or not at all.
    anyway.......shes an ex bar girl from Singapore however wasa BMDG by me drinks girl not a whore. She had bf/s yes but 1 at a time - i have seen the pics and talked to her friends. Shes very pretty and didnt have to whore herself out to make money....she also is a sweety......carries herself well, and has a knockout body. SO I guess it comes down to what can u handle....what are u willing to put up with as no one is perfect. me least of all.

    If i had a puch list i would want her to be educated a professional but thats it.

    cheers mates......and yes be very careful if they start asking for money - leave - fast . dont give out you home cell numbers - carry a cheap new one and use that #.

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  45. Dear Bule,
    Sorry for what happened to you.
    But as an Indonesian girl who go to bars/clubs to literally just drink with friends, enjoy the scenes, and/or dance the night to shake my fat off without without ever so often spread my legs in the presence of every bule in order to get some extra $$, can I just say my piece about this "phenomenon?"
    there ARE indo girls out there who are into bules strictly due to dating/racial preferences. it could be based on physical attraction or maybe we just got tired of indo men who are less open minded, a bit too religious and old-fashioned at whathaveyous such as yours truly. These girls have jobs, went to college, independent, perhaps less sweet and "innocent" but they won't get in your pants just to have access to your credit cards..
    We DO sometimes go to bars to look at cute white men in hopes of getting to know them, but, honestly, we're often turned off immediately because you guys always have your eyes on the more aggressive types; the ones with shorter skirts, lower necklines, heavier makeups--those who will grind you first moment you ask her to dance.
    If I can tell you anything about how to pick the "safe" girl to date, here are some tips:
    1. Her english: if it sucks--bad grammar, horrible vocab--forget it. she's probably some rural girl trying to make her way in Jakarta the easy way--by being easy.
    2. Ask her about her job or if she's in school. That'll give you some idea albeit I cannot generalize this. Go with your guts in this cause she could be lying.
    3. Look at her attire. Seriously. Not just how skimpy, but also the quality/brand/etc. Watch out for party girl types. They're the ones who will usually suck you dry and I don't mean in the gooddirty way.
    4. Observe. You basically can tell easy from classy, right? Even if the class IS an act..
    5. If she's always nice and sweet and submissive--there's always a catch
    Oh, and, can I just say that there are also a lot of Indo girls out there who got their hearts broken by bules who opt to cheat on them with younger, hotter, easier, "sweeter" ones? Just saying.
    I hope you have better luck in future relationships. It always sucks to get your heart broken. Maybe that's why I only date white men whenever I'm abroad. Just maybe.
    ** please excuse any typo or grammar incorrection. Living in NY did not contribute greatly to my english proficiency

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  46. This stereotyping is bollocks!

    You are talking about the what we, normal non exotic indonesian women, call as "Idabul" (Idaman Bule). Normally they are pub hoppers, expat hunters, and low class women who somehow downgrading the value of Indonesian women in general.
    Those "ayam" are organised crime, dont you think?
    C'mon be smart unless you are just as helpless as they are.
    Dont hook up with girls in an expat pub.. And stop stereotyping just because what you've met and found are all "Ayam"

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  47. I just love to hear the scorn and judgment that so called "good Indo girls" place on girls who frequent or work at the bars. It's truly shows the truth about the country in general, the class cruelty and the constant looking down, judgment and hatred.

    Bottom line...never unlock the gate that protects your heart for a bar girl. And if she's a hot regular girl then live with her for at least 3 years before falling in love with her and never, ever marry her before the 3 years dating period.

    I'm 46, divorced and living with my smoking hot, sweet, nice. 25 year old Indo GF. Do I love her? Nope...I love having her near me. I love not being alone. I love being taken care of. I love how full of life she is. But I'm not going to be surprised or hurt when I find out she's found a better bule who's younger, richer, smarter or slimmer. Why? CAUSE THERE ARE ABOUT 100 MILLION HOT NICE GIRLS IN ASIA!!!! I'll find another. :)

    The truth is I think my gal is 95% true blue. But 5% unknown is enough for me to keep that gate in front of my heart locked. You really have to earn it for me to unlock that gate. I'm always amazed when a new bule to the country opens his gate and is ALL-IN with a bar girl. Doesn't he have friends that can get him up to speed on all of this like my Expat friends did? Oh I forgot, Western women are so horrible that the shock of a soft, hot, loving, fun Indo woman's attention makes them gila in the head. Oh well, at least when you're on the roller coaster you know you are alive.

    The King of Jakarta

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  48. I just love this sites and all the articles!!! hhahahahahaha....Hilarious yet knowledge-able ;-)

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  49. Hi..i just would like to share My personal experience...not all indo girls are bad and it is all depend on your luck also.i met My wife in 2007 and it was love at first sight. Meet her in a karaoke in Bogor while i was working some projects there, she work there due to family were poor and having 3 kids to survived due to all the ex hubby or bf from Indonesia just left her without anything. So i started to have a relationships with here n we did on our first time dating...we both enjoy the relationships and we fell in love, deeply. Then within 4 Months i decide to married her...after 4 years i m very happy n we have our cutest daughter coming to 3 years in Januari 2012. So it is all depend on you n the girl...

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  50. I am an Indonesian woman. To be honest I feel very shame for most Indonesian women that only after an expat or we call it Bule here only for money. I don't respect that kind of attitude. I have many expatriate friends and many Indonesian girl friends who I obviously know that they only after expat for money. Here some tips for expatriate (men especially):
    1. Please be careful with any Indonesian chick that you meet at the club or bar (mostly but not all)
    2. Never easily give any money to any girls. For some reason, they might going to tell you some sad stories about them or their family. Just remember that you are not their cashier or finance manager.
    3. Once you meet a girl and so easy for you to take her to bed, that's also a bad sign.
    4. Make sure if you don't plan anything serious between you two, use protection while your sleeping with her. Because that kind of women, they always thought sex is just a game. She could get laid with anyone that she wants to only for money. And (if) one day she get pregnant with someone else which you don't know that actually she sleep with someone else, she will makes you responsible for that. But then again, that's your call.
    5. When you start dating her, take her into a simple place once for lunch or dinner. If she refused, that obviously wants a high life style and that why she after you.

    Good Luck !!!

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  51. If you visit a foreign country and plan to get to know the 'natives' on a more deeper level than a tourist would, what you have to do is, you HAVE to map out said society first. Otherwise you're not any better than a stupid tourist, and you WILL get hurt! That applies to any country foreign to you - not only Indonesia!

    Indonesian bar girls are not the same as bar girls in Europe. Let's get real. If you had mapped out Indonesian society first, before letting your dick speak for your brain, you would know that they all come from the lowest socio-economic segments the country has to offer.

    You CAN stereotype them - no racism or being prejudicial is an excuse not to do that. After all you're just saving your own skin.

    Stereotype those girls, and you can find with 99% accuracy that they share the same background (comes from village, has someone sick/dying/very old back home etc.), and, hell, they even look the same (see pics!).

    Now, if you're an expat, don't expect to live out a poor man's version of "Pretty Woman" in Indonesia. You won't find a Julia Roberts by hooking up with street walkers back home, nor will you find an Indonesian version by "dating" Indonesia's equivalent (i.e. Bar Girls).

    After being here for more than 10 years, I really get sick with all the complaining of expats who failed to find "love" back home and try to have better luck here because girls here are SO NICE.

    Don't be fucking STOOPID!



    Now, if you

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  52. it's a tragic things when i'm looking for a good man after divorce because of my husband cheating on me ,, i heard many stories about woman that cheat on her man. somehow life is unfair ... why should good woman meet a bad man and bad woman meet a good man ???

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  53. Dear Dee....I am at teh same page with you. I marrying a bule man and we had a gorgeous 5 years old son. But too bad he left us and abandon us for almost 4 years already. Thanks God that I have been gifted by God. I work and I can make money to afford my son and myself. I have tried to make effort few times but too bad I see no good feedback from him until now. And the worse thing is even now he is marrying a Malay woman (not under the law) and already have a son from that marriage. I only can pray that my son can fogive him one day when he grow up.

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  54. My sympathy for previous two comments. That's life.....

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  55. I'm just about to land in Jakarta.The write ups are really useful and informative for those who are migrating to stay some time in Jakarta.The prostitute and casual dating scenario is similar to south America and India.Few rich people amongst a lot of poor,desperate,nothing to lose people.Women here,opens faster than men.I w'd like to adopt a baby girl one day to save one woman to go in to blok M or Little Tokyo. At least one will migrate to main stream of life,survive free,free from AIDS and other STDS.Thank you all for sharing your observation with us, God bless you,

    -sunsetblues-

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  56. wat can i say?not all indonesian women who go to club is "Pros" n why the writer only shot abt Indonesian women?even honestly its make me feel bad as Indonesian women with what happen out there.
    im go to club for relax sometimes n not always only for dance with my friends then back to home.and i had western bf who not n never ever allowed me go to Bats,Blok M n Kota,i respect it n do it,even really i was so worry seeing Indonesian women in Club wearing sexy dress,n start thinking oh well they r great :D but once again we can not judge them just take advantage from them why western man love them so much?great in bed?so why indonesian women who had western bf/husband tried to act like them when they r in bed with they partner,i think its gonna work for keep ur western men to not cheating n for sure make them proud also :) being smart,and hardworker

    well nice article

    -Diah Nb-

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  57. by the way alot of the girls in BATS are richer than I'll ever be! i.e. from wealthy chinese families or similar

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  58. Cmon....what are u? A boy?
    All grown man know if u found a woman in the bar and want to sleep with you in a second you meet them then the answer is they are not a bad girl...

    And I would say so do u...

    Remove the label "indonesian girl" plz...coz its not only for indonesian

    If you can't find the true love yet so don't blame it all to a woman...put the mirror in your face first

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  59. Every girl has a reason for doing what she does .Every man goes to these bars for his is own reason.A girl might pick up a bule have a real good time make more than a weeks salery,in one night,the bule might have the best night he has in in along time.No hang up ??? every ones happy. If ,If ,he wants ,if she wants to meet again great.Western girls and Asian girl rip guys off all the time even more after they are married.It happens the other way around to dont worry about that.Western girls cheat and lie are unfaithfull,they choose there partnernrs because of the money they earn in there job,maybe they dont go to bar but the reasons are just the same.Western men cheat and fuck around the same as anyone else.From what I ve seen Western men go to Asia because there apears to be more available women in Asia.There men dont seem to look .after them as much,the living standards are mostly lower and the girls want to improve there life style.Great if one bule doesnt do it another one might.Just look after each other.Just dont hang shit on the Indo girls, Its all the same the wolrd over,You Indo girls are beautifull,everyone of you>>>>

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  60. hey ...have you ever gone through an indian text called kamasutra....this text perfectly describes a prostitute...what she should do, how she should act...etc etc...she is a professional....they consider everything as their work...and that is why the never regret cheating you...if you look from their side of the story you would find that they might have been cheated once by somebody else...could you ever think of a 45 yrs old dating a 25 yrs old lady in your own country...have you ever watched the television series hung...beleive me you would also enjoy if you get appreciation and money from women..

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  61. There are still a lot of high-qualified Indonesian women in Jakarta as long as the expats can find them in the right place. Regarding this article, on the other hand, the good women or girls here are not comfortable of the foreigner's misbehavior and this negative stereotype. Moreover, they choose to avoid, not to join into this kind of group.

    But yes, be careful for the white boys, at some points, you've attracted more to "your number of fans" in Jakarta! :)

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  62. I just wonder 1 thing:

    this article: "10 Signs Your Indonesian Girl Is Cheating On You" does it apply the same for the Bule?
    You should write about it too, could be:
    "10 Signs Your Bule Guy Is Cheating On You "


    Hahahaha.. cheers! :D

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  63. Really good analysis of the cheating signs. All are true. My pseudo "girlfriend" is meeting all of these requirements. Especially phone and lies. They lie really well. Do not trust any girl here and most particularly the ones with angel faces. And have in mind you are not in philippines or Thailand, which is a way worse. Getting married here is really difficult. They will cheat on you at sight. When they go out alone it is never a good sign !

    Really good analysis.

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  64. hipster indonesian girls (various ethnicity) are usually the smart ones. they mostly hang out in artsy places and 'different'. no record of cheating or trashy behavior whatsoever. they are mostly intelligent and bilingual.

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  65. Well... A very good observation in this article. I am just irritated by some comments saying that decent indonesian girl don't go to a club and drink. How do I put this without being cocky... I do clubbing at least once a week, drink and sometimes get drunk. Am I indecent? Well, I am a lawyer graduated from one of the best law schools in Jakarta and currently working for the UN. And I know other hundreds of me in Jakarta alone.

    So a statement that associating alcohol consumption and women's decency just show how narrow minded you are.

    Secondly, about the presumption when you meet a girl in a bar.
    As I told you, more than a hundred women with the qualifications above DO hang out in the bar. Well, my work (and so the other women's) requires me to work more than 10 hours a day, which I have so little time to hang out after office hours. Weekends are the only time we could spend freely and going to the bar with girlfriends would be one of the first options. I believe many of men with similar criteria share the situation. Of course we don't hang out in random bars, security checking by UNDSS is required. My point is, it's a bit reckless for saying every girl you meet in the bar is indecent, it depends on where you guys meet. If you meet her in a bar in Kota or Mangga Besar, well, you got what you deserve.

    Can everybody please stop being such a moralist and judgmental?

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  66. I think expats should not complain too much about cheating Indonesian ladies...most Western guys cheat too, most of the time. Find a nice Indonesian lady and try to develop a good relation. Do not go to bars 5-6 times per week, meeting all kind of cute, young ladies and still expecting full commitment from these ladies..
    I am living in Asia for 9-10 years. I found my wife in Shanghai, not in bar and the relation works very well.

    Cheers

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  67. reading the article, then read all the comments, and end up laughing my ass off.
    Well, I guess the main RQ here are "can you meet your love of life in a bar in Jakarta?" from my experience, the answer is "Yes, but unlikely"
    You can meet nice, rich, highly educated Indonesian girls in Jakarta bars/clubs as well, but beware, most of them had been living abroad, most likely in Europe or US or Oz, that make bule is a common human being in their eyes. You don't have that "presumably rich and relatively more open minded" advantage against local males in their eyes.
    my advice, lads, if you think you are try to get one of this girls as your girlfriend instead of those babu-looking sexy-dressing chicks. You might not get "the native experience" as you wish, but they will not rip you off. Not an easy task, though :)

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  68. Ever get the feeling your getting worked over, i got that feeling. Flew here to meet a woman i met on the indocupid site. Things were good, but something didnt feel right, then she said she was married, blah, blah, blah. She claims she is in county court, Blah,blah, blah.
    She is flying to singapoure with her sister for a day, blah.....guards phone, emails, the whole deal. I am mad at myself, not her, its what she knows, she claims to be a school teacher with night hours, im a fu#king idiot! All in all, I had the best sex in my life, so im not bitchin!
    Things money wise were mutual...called here out on a few things and she suddenly couldnt understand english...Its not an indo woman thing, we all cheat, bule,indo, ect....(not me personnally, but willing to learn!!!)

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  69. I am an Indo woman married with an expat, introduced by my friends from uni. At 24 yo was still virgin and with him I lost my virginity. He said the sex was good, we married, having kids, etc. And he still went to Bats and CJ after married, dining at Hyatt with his 'ayam's.
    Finally I divorced him, couldn't stand being treated as one of her ayam, whenever we went out.

    Then I met another expat, as handsome as Ben Affleck, so faithful and no ayam. Happily ever after :)

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  70. I'm Alejandro Valendaz, from Spain. I have a very beautiful Indonesian gf, not from a rich family. She knows what my job is, how much money I make but that doesn't make her thirsty of money, such a sweetheart! We made a deal, (this is her idea) that whatever stuff I wanna buy her...that shouldn't cost more than Rp200K. It's like only $20 :O Only on special event like birthday :/

    I remember took her to Luna Negra. She needed about 20 minutes to order somethin before she told me this , "You know how many kids suffering from hunger out there? And you're taking me here, wasting ur money for something that we actually can get somewhere else cheaper than this.” That’s the moment when I found out I have a very good girl :]

    So those who say that Indonesian girls are only interested in money....well, no matter where you go...you will always find a bunch of girls that are so materialistic. Not all Indonesian girls like that. There are still many good Indonesian girls if you know where to find them.

    I’m not saying all girls goin to the nightclubs are bad, but here in Indonesia… the very good Indonesian girls don’t go to nightclubs…

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  71. as i say many times, all the Indonesians need to be more worldly in order to understand what happens outside the world. Many whom study abroad will have not good job prospects unless they have a good net work by them selves or family. Foreigners have a great time because of the slavish mentality of the Malay people.too much complacency and mediocrity makes the people lazy and corrupt.

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  72. I have pretty much broken all the rules in reguards to the type of indo women i married. i met her in club . she dont drink dont smoke .has a kid 4 years old.
    of course i was weary . but truth is i was not looking . i know her past which is jaded like all of ours . it only matters what happens from when ya meet . im a good provider. i got everything out in the open fast and layed it down thick . like you know the things healthy relationships have none of this sneaky shit mentioned . first you need to establish sustainable boundarys that are reasonable . next is jealousy it will destroy . your asia girl is beautiful get over it there nothing but damage will come out of you acting on this . if she love you she wont play on it . . we do everyt5hing together sure she needs money from me why wouldnt she im her husband . we keep it simple i know all her family . and most of all im 30 she 28 we are both difficult people stubborn . have small arguments but are able to resolve quick and not drag around usually causing the next one... i dont know how or where it will end up but right now im glad i gave her a chance despite the situation she was in i would have done it to . it none my buisness what she did in past only future is my problem. i never judged . i look into her eyes and realise her intentions at first may have been survival money extortion watever it may be..after awhile it changed now she looks at me with so much love i feel her she played with me and seriously failed ... so my advice. everyone is capable of destroying others for various reason .. sure listen to the stories but believe me if you going to have a go dont fuk around you have to start clean slate . you cant be jealous of other guys she is pretty you took this on when you picked her up you dont own her she can do whatever . i trust her she is loyal and she dont ever want to leave . Im not a dick by the way i just try to keep life simple starting with my own weaknesses jealousy etc i got that shit under control...my calm asertive approach totally difused any thing she thought or was thinking . my girl loves me i dont need her to do stuff for me to know this . i can feel it . so dont ever judge because at end of the day if you are the cool guy/ down to earth with manners and a touch of crazy .she will go googly eye for you . if you are suspicious and insecure no girl will want you . and dont lie to yourself you know when shit is wrong so sack it up. be a man ditch the sterio types . i found my girl where everyone told me not to look my soul mate . trust me the cracks will show fast dont ignore them asian or not . if ya going to try give it 200 percent.or dont bother it wont work . dont give your self up to a needy girl get her out straight away . we always want what we cant have both sexs . that knowledge on its own is power .. some of the stories above the people need to wake up sort ya own backyard first .. cause im pretty sure it wont be all roses will it now ...

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  73. soo bored reading the story about "bad girls". dont you believe that good person only for good one and bad person only for asshole (sorry..)

    Many bule in Indonesia (especially Jakarta and Bali) expected to much.. you can see very often a young sexy girl with an old fat ugly bule? seems "in-love" walking together in the mall or nice fancy hotels or bar.

    of course they looked "match", but not for long time lah.. cos next day or week, you will see them with different partner.

    why is that? cos they met in the "wrong" place and "wrong" reason.. they met in the bar or massage parlor, where people come with best dress they have, make up, and wallet full of dollar (but then they will reimburse to their company with note "dinner with client" or "entertainment client"

    but do you know that most nice Indonesian girl who has a good job, well educated background, they dont do clubbing? dont even drink any alcohol?
    certainly they not looking for men who talk too much or pretend to be someone else, or show "money" in his pocket.. they are genuine girl looking for genuine person who in love with .. maybe with you, a bule guy who come just the way you are.. meet them coincident in a normal place..

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  74. I am an Indonesian that loves clubbing , drinking, going to different bars,cause it is nice for once u can be ur self regarding gender or religion.
    I met my husband in the most craziest club in Jakarta, married for 12 years now.
    Please don't judge to easy about Indonesian girls.
    When I come to Jakarta without my husband , I still loves oing to bars and drinks even by myself...WHAT WILL U CALL ME....A HOE or CHEATING ...I DON'T THINK SO...
    Grow up ..come to Jakarta and enjoy don't called people names...X

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  75. Let me talk about what is going on with me right now. I travelled to Hong Kong on march 4th and I went to bar 109 in Wan Chai. WanChai bars have lots of prostitutes from Indonesia, Phillipines, Thailand and others. Everything same other places around the world. Except on sunday afternoons when the famous maid parade happens. HK has thousands of Indo and Pineys girls working as maids from mon to sat. Sunday is dayoff for most of them and lots of girls go to wanchai bars for fun. Some ask for some money because their salaries are really low and they like to buy sexy clothes, make-ups, frangrancies, etc.
    I met a girl there and we had a good time dancing and drinking. After love in a hotel we went to another bar for few more drinks because she needed go home as her employer would discount $ if she came too late.
    But for first time in my life I got drunk (tequila is poison, I did not know that). She took care of me. She paid a taxi and took me to my hotel. She could steel everything at my room, $, iphone, tablet, passport, greencard...but she didn't. Hours before she told me she lived in a village in Indonesia, her mother died when she was born and her father told her always be honest.
    Last weekend I came back to HK to met her again. I wanted some answers about what happened that afternoon (I cannot remember some events as I was drunk).
    She asked employer to get day off and we met at 8am for breakfast. We went to bar 109 for few drinks and after lunch we spent the whole afternoon at my room making love and we chat a lot.
    She told me about everything that happened in her life. She got married at 15 but the husband was not nice to her. When she gave birth he took her son sent her back home.
    I feel this girl is building some deep feelings about me. She dreams about having another baby but she wanna a good man to be the father of her baby. She took my picture and said: Everyday I can see my dream husband. I think she is falling in love. I am feeling something too. Its complicated. I live in USA, She lives in HK. She asked me if I would like to be father again in the future. I told her it is expensive in HK and USA. Then she told me if this happened we could go to Indonesia because life is cheaper there and we could live anywhere, not just in Jakarta. She looks like a good girl and I think she is being honest with me. The only thing that concerns me is the fact we met at a naughty bar. I am not sure if you can marry a girl that used to go to the bars for fun with guys instead marry one that never did it.
    Any advices, please....
    Sorry about my english (Portuguese "Brazilian" is my primary language).

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  76. Stay away from all Indonesian girls that live in the Indramayu area. They are all liers cheats and double crossers. You cant trust for anything small or big. I just check them and there families out. If they are from low level society it just wont work out.

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  77. I'm Indonesian girl,has been married to'Bule" for 30 years, I never cheated on my husband for money or other man.I came from a very good high class family I hold my tradition.Look for a girl like me in Indonesia.Not in the Bar.

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  78. I'm a guy from Holland but born @ jkt.
    Last year i met a girl @ Stadium, later that holiday i went back for her, we exchanged numbers and since i arrived back @ Holland, we have daily contact,
    first on BBM, now on FB.
    I never sent her money!
    She quit her job @ stadium and now she's a singer in a bar.

    Last November we went together to Bali enjoyed 2 weeks together, had the most amazing time together, joking, eating, talking, One crazy night party @ Bali and back in jkt she showed me the normal n simple life in Indonesia.
    This Juni i go for a 4 week holiday + spending time with her.

    In the beginning i was also very careful, because i know the stories, but i felt this was different.

    But although Keep your eyes open!
    I think as long as they don't ask for money and there's no one direction communication from only your side, it can be true.

    My advice:
    Follow your heart, not your dick!
    :)

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  79. Good thing to mention is that in most relationships in Indonesia, especially in Jakarta, cheating is accepted. All Asian people I have met (men+women, young and old) have a different concept of love than me (Western woman). They marry to build an institution, not because they are madly in love. Arranged marriage is very common in Indonesia. Even though the girls would say she wants to be in love. Her idea about love is different, she doesn't go for that special person, she goes for someone she and her family is ok with and who can support her. That is why Indo girls marry older Indo men for example. And cheating or visiting prostitutes for Indo married men is 'normal'. Ask anyone with a corporate job how many of his colleagues love to go to karaoke and use the prostitutes there. The moral is different here, especially Jakarta. Don't expect people to be faithful. And seriously have safe sex. I know a few of young people who got HIV here (both bule and Indo) and a lot got herpes here.
    For the record I am a Caucasian single woman who doesn't date in this city because of the lack of morals regarding to love.

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  80. Good Story. I met my jakarta 21y old girl from dating service. She gave time in beginning, then she was bule bars constantly when i was in north europa. She said she like to go bars, cause of the good music, yea right. Many times she used to call from toilet, taxi or other privat place. She carried her code locked BB everywhere she went. She had many foreign trips when i was home country. "Going with my gf's". She used to swear all her biggest lies by her mom and family even.

    Then we met in jan in bali. I gave her tab to play she liked. Many times she found to have privacy, to call other bf's somewhere out there. She had most likely many man in same time on a round.

    When I got home from holiday, she asked me to pay her school cost, 11 juta. I said, well, lets see. 1 month later i catch her cheating with other man. Phone was left open. She sweared to her family it was one night stand, even he was the one she probably going to rip off n long term. So she just changed to an older guy, who can throw some money to her..

    I kicked her and said i leave u bitch. She cried me back 3 days, how much she love me, cant leave without u. Even sametime he was holiday with other bf lol. I took her back, gave second change.

    She started to use also second email "because i dont wanna use primary one, dont send it any messages !" Also all excuses, phone was lost, need recharging etc.

    couple week later i noticed, she going to marry other guy. Just couple weeks after she said she truly love me and cried me back lol !!!

    That girl was knowing what she do. She was good doing all cheating and all. But if u have instinct that all is not ok, normally that is the case.

    But even write like this, its left me broken heart, i hope no one would feel the same ever..

    Remember u "I"

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  81. I'm a bit sad that these types of women exist because they give interracial relationship a bad name. I'm a native woman who has been quite blessed enough to have met people of different background and although race/skintone/etc is never a personal issue to me, interracial dating always left me feeling a little discouraged because it doesn't take much for people to be judgmental and vicious.

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  82. So good topic really i like any post talking about Genital Herpes but i want to say thing to u Health not that only ... you can see in Health ideas The basic food groups the food pyramid and more , you shall search in Google and Wikipedia about that .... thanks a gain ,,,

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  83. Unfortunately it has been my 12 year experience to know that regardless of any professed desire to leave 'the life' behind, results are nothing but heartache and destruction. As open-minded as I am, racially, religiously, etc., this cultural/moral divide may well be insurmountable.

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  84. I'd like to thank Marc for his sharing about his love life with his ex Indonesian gf. I am so sorry about it & I understand what he feels. Because he love the girl genuinely, but the girl love him for his money, not his heart. Well, I've read all of the opinions about his writing. All of you're talking from your different point of views. From the Indonesian perspective vs the foreigners perspective. So there's no conclusion about the writing. We're Indonesian girls are looked different physically than western girls, but we have the same thought as western girls or other girls do. Especially with the development of Information Technology nowadays. Maybe we have a different lifestyle with western girls, because we live in a country that still uphold our cultural values, named TABOO. I have to tell you, that CHEATING IS TABOO here, same as in your countries. Not as what Anonymous Caucasian says : For the record I am a Caucasian single woman who doesn't date in this city because of the lack of morals regarding to love. Well, you talk as if Indonesian people doesn't understand about love and honesty. I don't know how do you get that wrong thought in your mind, but you work here, feel the atmosphere of Indonesia and you are given a chance to earn money by working in this country. How can you say that ? I don't know whether there are more true people at Aussie than in Indonesia .. :>

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  85. Honestly, I dislike a cheater. If you fall in love with an Indonesian girls, please do check, whether she is a fake or not. Whether she loves you or she just need you as a 'walking ATM'. I ever did a research about HIV/AIDS among the prostitutes and shemale. And read some articles about them. I found out that the prostitutes usually come in a group, with a shemale. Whether in a cheap bars like at Blok M or Kota etc or at the prestigious bars like CJ's etc. Usually you can recognize them from the way they dressed themselves ( wearing too sexy dresses, too mini skirts, or showing their boobs too much etc ... they dressed too sexy, usually to get the attention of their preys ) and the way they dance ( too flirty, sometimes don't match with the music itself .. haha ... ). Nah, the shemale works as her pimp or inform him which guy will be their prey that night. After that the girl will dance or act attractively or maybe she is exaggerating her body move to flirt that 'prey'. Sometimes they will come to the 'prey' then do a kind of 'dirty dancing' ( hahahaha ... ) to catch the 'prey'.

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  86. So don't get drunk guys, cause everyone looks gorgeous in the club, maybe coz of the lights of the clubs, but especially when you get drunk ... Awwww ... that's too bad, isn't it ? .. :> .. Well, I myself go to clubs with my friends or family. We like to dance and make fun of each other .. And I think some Indonesian girls do too ... Coz we like music and get together with friends or family. Sometimes we do drink alcohol but never get drunk. ... Coz you don't know the people that you met at the clubs, though I am an Indonesian girl, I must beware about it too. Just to take care of ourselves from what we can't control. So you must control yourself too. I understand how Marc and other guys feel after being cheated by their Indonesian gfs. But it doesn't mean that you can generalize that behavior to some Indonesian girls ... :> ... I have some friends who are interested in bule ( westerners ) but they are afraid because there's a stereotype in Indonesia, that westerners need sex before marriage if they wanna have a serious relationship with their couple ... But I have a friend who told me, that his husband can wait till they got married before they do sex. Isn't it a stereotype too ? ... :> Well, guys, there is an Indonesian proverbs about finding a gf/bf : easy come, easy go; difficult to get, difficult to be left. So guys, if you still love the Indonesian girls, the way they smile, treat you, and love you etc ... Go for it, and be careful ... As I know you are lucky if you get married with a good Indonesian girl, cause they are a funny one, and they will treat you nicely, polite, sweet and be true to you, till the end of her time ... And keep on praying, you will get the best Indonesian girl, if you involve God in finding your soulmate in Indonesia ... :>

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  87. I recently met a girl in a bar in bali. Did a second trip back there to spend more time with her and get to know her. She wanted to put her dodgy past behind her and not go out and find Western man anymore and she wanted to have a future with me. Anyway I sent her a text when I was back in aus and pretended to be someone else and she was still going to dodgy clubs. Feel stupid but have learnt my lesson. Glad I worked it out quickly and now I can focus on meeting someone honest/nice whether it be western girl or indo girl.

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  88. My advise to all the single expat men is : don't waste your fucking time on these low life girls . Don't make it complicated then it is, if you want to get laid just go to Alexis(classy sexclub) . Keep it strictly business , no feelings just having some 1,5 hours of quality time......

    warm regards from Amsterdam

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  89. To be honest actually im looking for a expat to be my genuine bf(dont laugh at me),so thats why i bumped to this site. FYI im not a kind of girl who loves to hang out to the bars etc.
    If one of you dont mind to know me more,i'll show you that such of signs "the cheating indo girl" arent totaly right.

    Sincerely
    Hilari

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  90. Wow!! Such a lengthy discussion.

    I just would like to sum up all of the comments by stating the simple but SAD truth (don't read if u are not prepared):

    Asian culture demands Man to be responsible for the Woman, thus like it or not, no matter how independent,rich,educated,beautiful, a woman is, it is in their innate nature to look for a man who can and will take care of her needs and wants. Let alone the poor, dependent, ugly, foolish women out there.

    Im sure to some extent, the Western culture believes in this concept too, but movements on gender equality, feminism and freedom on just about anything, have somewhat made the Asian culture seem alien to them.

    So Please try to understand this simple advise before u decide to engage an Indonesian gal, for whatever purpose there is,

    PEaCe

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  91. It happens everywhere. Basically wherever there is a big wealth gap. I had 2 failed marriages where I paid a huge price for falling in love. One in the USA to a Mexican, one to a Mongolian. The second one really hurt the most. I wish I could say it won't happen again but I'm a hopeless romantic and I wish I wasn't.

    I hope, next time, I can spot the signs before its too late.

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  92. Ha ha LoL funny article, you bule guys think like a king who wanna rule the local chicks and use them up with your charm prospects... The rules u have to spend what you will get, there is no free rides. Don't think about being cheated by local chicks here if you already cheated from your fat ass wife back home. Cheers

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  93. is there anyone of you who wrote on the contrary, that the foreign man who had lied to the Indonesia women? Have you ever heard that forein man sell his wife as prostitutes after marriage.

    Those things are happen in front of your nose.
    create a balance article, please

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  94. Seriously dude? you have ever dated an Indonesian girl like that?
    I am an Indonesian girl
    But it's sad to say that, you are unlucky if you dated an Indonesian girl you got from a bar
    They will always be fake and never love you for all you are, they always use you for your money and prestige
    And the worst thing is when you expat guys who is christian want to move from another religion because only for this mothafuqah who sucks all your soul
    If you want an Indonesian woman, just search for the intellect one, not the dumb, and beauty is come from heart, not the sexy stuff
    Open your eyes dude

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  95. AH ... you guys are all overthinking it!

    the article is true, except it applies to ANYONE anywhere in the world, and male or female..

    And you have to be careful ANYWHERE there is the big wealth/beauty gap ... beautiful young girls will always be tempted by beautiful young men, AND by rich old ones... (cite Hollywood actresses and their short marriages, always falling into bed with the latest costar).

    Indonesian girls are wonderful creatures, just go in with your eyes wide open! And if you marry a real beauty , keep em open!

    OldOz

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  96. Kinda funny and ironic that all the self-proclaimed "educated and well-financed" indo girls here got offended by the article, and demand the writer to "stop generalizing" because not all indo girls are gold diggers and the symptoms mentioned can also be valid any girls of any race...whilst the web clearly named jakarta100bars.com...which personally I think is a total giveaway of why the article only focusing on indo girls.
    Me personally, I think the writer's problem is that he's looking for indo girl to begin with. Not a good idea, since I think most of them are sluts in disguise.

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  97. love the above comment, most people here are ignorant and have little life skills and manners.Bules will have a blast(literally many times) because most local girls worship them. ask any girl a Hollywood heartthrob is their idol. they are willing to loose them selves in the Western culture because it 's more superior in their eyes.i found the recent wear batik day a farce because the Malaysians tried to claim it and business are enforced to implement it.people have fake pride here so they need to toughen up them selves and look into them selves rather being shallow.

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  98. Hi , I'm debby 19 years old ,indonesian I just seeing this article .. That's funny .. But the truth is if indonesian. Girls ..like and in many relationship with cross country guy .. Means the girl really mean it to you .. She expect money , that means she expect to live with u ,their expect to change life with western guy .. but western guy all aren't serious at all , they're all just want to having fun with girls here .. At least u can remind how u connect w/ indonesian girl here .. All in bad way ,, if u want to hv a good relationship with indonesian , must be mature and have job .. Honestly I'm young I'm widowed , I admit ur article .. But u shud know , indonesian hope their life to be better ..I guess This article good for share , what western looking for here

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    Replies
    1. You are just an indonesian hooker with a good sucker skills, you cheatting with any one, you doesn't deserve to be a wife..

      Delete
  99. Hi im debora 20 y.o this article good for share to anybody. honestly, i ever went to club only once, and its bcause i wanna get western guy cause im addict with them but unfortunately, i nver get the good one at least kind to talk each other, and when i stayed there for enjoy my night i seen westerm guy with the slut girl "mba-mba" which is *sorry to say* not pretty just have dark skin and the face arent good looking. sometimes i think wheater the western guy is normal guy who choose the girl like that? why is so hard to get them? when we wants seriously western guys is so hard to get them, maybe somebody who read this post could comment :) thanks.

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    Replies
    1. hi debra, honesty is very important for a relationship... maybe that westerner only wanted a 'mba-mba', I am western male that has same problem but only cheaters talk with me. we should chat sometime :)

      Delete
  100. To all the Indonesian girls who read this comment. I certainly don't consider the majority of you as "Good Time Girls". All countries have bars, clubs & party places with pretty girls.

    However, in the western society it's accepted women will go out for the night, usually with a group of female friends. The difference is most are not charming the pants off some expat male with a view to an easy relationship & financial stability.

    Too much thought & intelligence going to waste. It requires understanding & an intelligent mind of how to use the skills required to make a catch!

    These girls are under-mining All Women, All over the world. More than 50% have worked their way through trade schools & colleges. Many have climbed the ladder to high levels in their chosen profession. Women are good at multi-tasking. Job, profession, kids, running a home, keeping a balanced marriage & contributing income to support the family.

    Don't come back at me with a comment about the lack of wealth in Indonesia. I personally know western women who were homeless, addicted to drugs & prostituting for income. They used their intelligence & energy to turn their lives around from this type of lifestyle.

    So all you Indonesian women out there... wake up, stand up, let your voices be heard & go to war for equal opportunity. You don't have to degrade yourselves. Find education & move into a new life. Inflate your own ego, be proud & happy.

    Remember, when you are charming the pants off that 50+ year old man. His big brain has gone out of order for a while & the brain between his legs has completely taken over. You are inflating his ego, he has lost all consideration, respect & fidelity for his wife.

    Then think, would you be happy with this man? Maybe you will? But one day he may turn the tables on you! The relationship already has a trust issue & it will invade your thoughts!

    "Whatever Women Do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult" Go confidentily towards you dreams & goals!

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  101. This comment is to reach out to all of the blue collar, low life, and uneducated responders to this thread. We are speaking about human beings here, not perceived property or people that can be exchanged or exploited. Having spent many years in Indonesia, I am sickened by the brainless US oil worker androids, and others, that believe they understand international cultures and philosophy. You are an embarrassment to the United States, and moreover, to the human race. Why not spend some time in Antarctica, where your contributions will be totally ignored? Freaking losers.

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  102. I think all these attempts to generalize Indonesian women are, honestly said, based on a complete lack of understanding of "real life" in Jakarta. Surely, if your universe is limited to BlokM, then perhaps - even though I would have to say that I have met considerably more nice and normal Indonesian women there than the opposite. And outside the bar-scene, for sure, I cannot at all for one split second recognize the reality of the original article.

    The fact is that where I come Indonesian women in general are kind, fun, sweet, intelligent, open-minded and all the good superlatives we can find. As a matter of fact, I cannot honestly think of a better place for ANY man to find high-quality female companionship of whatever kind.

    Dixit!

    H

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  103. hi everyone. i'm 26 yo indonesian girl. i'm quite pretty (a lot people say that to me) but i am not in bule standard (sorry to say 'mbak-mbak like, dark skin; buck teeth). and i'm a doctor working at public hospital in jakarta. i just broke up with my previous boyfriend (4 years relationship he broke me up when i lost contact with me becouse i have a duty at remote area in papua for 1 year)- when i get this indo cupid site popping to my screen.

    i dont expect much at online dating site and i find i attract some man just in 1 and half week (about 700 'interested sign' send). mostly they are western/expat and seems just like to have a girl to accompany/sleep them when they are at jakarta or bali.

    finish my story, i ended this site with this 1 kind western man who is divorced with his wife. now we will marry with Minang traditional wedding ceremony!he is so interested, as he never have seen anything like this at west (ofcours).

    working as a doctor here won't make you rich in your western standard. (he have salary more more bigger than me, i think). that's why like to buy me present but i make him a deal to not buying something more than 500k (50 dollar and i like charles and keith than jewelry :p), one thing i can't forget is when i get my new job he offering a holiday to maldives as a treat ( i refuse it ofcours,that's too expensive and i can't accept it when i can't give him something equal for it).

    there's so many good girl out there, but come on.. we are not like western woman, good indo girl dont dress too sexy because it's not in our culture. and we dont go/work at bar.we dont do sleeping with man easily also.
    find your right indo girl,meet her family, see her house (mostly they are having a close relationship to their family, educated- college or university and not so poor), and their more shy not like woman you meet on bars, trust me!
    ps: i'll quit my job as doctor and move to uk for him. we are so happy each other.

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  104. I think I know u marc, u r a teacher from gjis....

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  105. i wouldnt care if my indonesian wife of 14 years cheated on me, i think she does, but who cares, i would just find another one, its not like they are in short supply.

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  106. Dear, not all Indo girls are like that,.....specially if you meet them in 'normal' place..:)

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  107. interesting blog... I'm an indo woman, and i only do clubbing when it's company events or when my black american husband is with me.

    I like clubbing but clubbing in indonesia isn't the same as in states. And i never go out clubbing by myself or with my girl friends here in indonesia, hell NO!!
    A good advice from one of the comments : find the girl from a high end places, sorry to say that what he said was true that mostly the girls are chinese (as I am chinese too, but I met my husband in states lol) with good education or from abroad university. They for sure not after your money, they probably make more than you do lol
    And if all goes well, take her to the clubs with you.

    The reason why my husband doesn't let me go clubbing without him is as soon as I enter the door, the men either they're white/brown/black/yellow, they're like vulture and try to approach me until they see my old man behind me, the big black visious man that i luv forever.

    Maybe one of the guys was you? in desparate mode to find a decent girl from a trashy club?

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  108. i love drunk, i love sex, i love dance.... but sorry i dont like expat.... yeahhh right just low educated women n from poor family who chasing expat in Jakarta....

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  109. Think these symptoms can be found with guys also.. Maybe the title should be replaced by 10 signs your partner (bf/gf) cheating on you.l hehe.. Just saying.. :)

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  110. Just too Right...!!!! for expat if you want indo girlfriends get a prostitute..once u paid that's it done.. don't expect a relationship with those girls 'coz they just after ur money and will ruin your whole life and career. Thanks

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  111. Just too Right...!!!! for expat if you want indo girlfriends get a prostitute..once u paid that's it done.. don't expect a relationship with those girls 'coz they just after ur money and will ruin your whole life and career. Thanks

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  112. The minute they lie to you, kick them to the curb. There is about 130 million more of them in Indonesia and the vast majority of them make western women look like fat cows. I love the women on here who judge and look down at the girls in the club, undoubtedly they have have ex-bule bf's that got sick of their lame performance and went and got a good one at the club!

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  113. hey ... i thought u guys as a bule have an opened minded personality
    come on ....
    u judged all indonesian woman just like money
    sure we need money , ( this is for all woman in the world , not only indonesian woman ) but that is not the first thing that we looking for
    we better have a loyal guy and treat us nice , have a good work and behavior than a truck of money
    more of us make more money than expat or bule here , moreover when u are just a teacher
    sorry to say ...
    and not all indoesian woman that go to club is an ayam , or man eaten
    maybe some , but some other just wants to have fun , drinking, laughing with friends
    and i dont think that is a mistake
    grown up!!!!
    just becoz u disappointed with one indonesian girl that u pick up at Blok M or Kota, doesnt mean every indonesian woman the same like that
    u dont like if we said that all expat in indonesia is a Jerk , right ?
    btw who asked u to PU the girl from that kind of place ? ckckckckck poor u
    go find at up level place

    its fine to find someone in the club , know her first , meet her family , her friends than u know who she is first
    if u can except her with all of that than continue
    if not , find smone else ...
    but do that with sincerely , with ur heart not with ur sex
    dont be like a jerk , blame all to the girl , and make all indonesian woman is the same
    whoever cheating on u , will do the same like what u said in ur article
    wether she/he is from indonesia or from other country
    u r just like a baby , crying , crawling , and blame everybody arround u who didnt know what happened... geeeezzzzzzz so pathetic person

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  114. All indo girls are fake if they are in bars...

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  115. lol im a 18 yo indo girls and i went to bars a few times with my mixed bf (now ex). lots of slutty bar girls tried to flirt with him ewwww

    and i dont like having a crazy night at bars like you guys do. i prefer go to salon, i can be more relax, healthy and happy there.

    if you met materialistic girls in indonesia then poor you. because you can't pick someone better. if you only want her body then you deserved it.
    you want her body and unless youre a very handsome tom cruise kind of guy, she only wants you money, simple as that.

    oh those comments make me want to have an expat bf who buys expensive things for me.
    loljk, im not a gold digger, i dont seduce men and im not easy :P

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  116. Clubbing is not as accepted in Indonesia as in the West. Therefore, clubs -definitely the ones with prostitutes- are not where most Indonesian girls want to go to or be found. You can find and learn to know them at work, cinemas, sports clubs, church, social organizations, and so on.

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  117. I'm a men,love to clubbing and spa too...
    for me, it is a big possibility that we had a crush,not love, to beautiful bargirl,prostitute,LC,etc..and in my opinion,it is normal..

    sometimes, we find something interesting from this type of woman..maybe,it's her sex appeal,maybe her looks,maybe her personality (actually,first look personality),etc that we cannot find from good woman out there..

    but, we must realize that "bad-woman" have many tricks and sad stories to make our defense weak..we,as a men, must be cautious to their trap..even they say that they don't want to go back to their old life,there is no guarantee that she really do that..when our financial is not strong enough,she will leave us because she used to live the easy life..

    although, not all the woman like that..i used to have a relationship with Chinese prostitute..first,it is just for fun..but,she can make me sure that she don't after my money because from the very beginning, i don't say and don't show her (it is more important to show rather than say) that i have much money..i say "if you really love me,will you live with me and make a good life together?" and she answered "yes" honestly..

    so,in conclusion, just don't entirely listen to you heart (and d*ck)..listen to your brain and advice from your family/friends too.

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  118. I agree to some extend with you mate, but not completely. I've met girls in BATS, Tigapuluh, before in JJ and Tanamur etc. Some of them have job and go to this clubs just: to have fun, to meet someone to have a good time with AND IF get some money - that will be just perfect! Unlike in China, Vietnam and some other countries, where they ask you for the money first and leave your room when you are "done", you know in Indonesia usually the girl will stay in your room unless you tell her, that you are busy and she must leave. And that does not change the money, if you agreed earlier on the "tip". Many of them just dream of and later become the most faithful wives, despite the tens of "boyfriends" they've had in their past.
    But as I said in the beginning, your tips are basically correct.
    Never forget: if you are married in your country and she knows that, how you can blame her she's not honest to you? If you play "love story", she will perfectly realize, that sooner or later will you'll go back to your family and she shouldn't loose her other "options" for a living.

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  119. Not all of indonesian girl who likes to go clubbing does that.. Based on your story, those girls are a hookers.. But once again, NOT ALL OF THEM ARE HOOKERS..
    You're just unlucky to met a girl like her.. I hope you enjoy jakarta and find a nice, smart, polite and trusted girl.. Im an indonesian girl btw..

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  120. Many bule just like having sex. And they deserve to spend a lot of money. Remember, nothing free in this world.

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  121. if you are ugly overweight and a pretty girl "falls in love with you on the first night, and you believe her then you deserve what you get.

    now if you choose to give it a go, she just might treat you right. she will want a kid or more, and she could become your true partner. if she decides to retire. it is a carreer that she is leaving with lot's of adventure and exitement.
    cleaning your underwear can't beat a good night in a club no matter how you cut it.

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  122. Agree with some of the comments above (if you meet a girl at a bar who goes home with you straight away then... you have just met a girl who goes to bars and goes home with a guy straight away - exactly what it says on the label).

    Still, one heads up - I got caught by a girl who got pregnant within weeks of our meeting (not at a bar, she had just split with her married boyfriend). I pushed for an abortion and she did it. We dated. A few years later she got pregnant with another guy she was having an affair with. I dumped her.

    Point is, it took me a while to realize that the first pregnancy wasn't mine, despite being the basis for our later relationship. Of course she was happy to have an abortion! So be careful with that.

    With a lovely Indonesian girl now, for 6 years, she's the love of my life, smart, honest, beautiful. So it can happen, but you have to be careful, the same as anywhere.

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  123. Frankly, the way most westerners behave towards women here, in ways they would never dare do in their own country, they deserve what they get.

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  124. Hello Marc,

    I'm an Indonesian woman. After reading your blog, I could guess that you have had a lot of unpleasant experiences with Indonesian girls. Hemmm....being cheated many time, huh? Why is that? Any problem with your personality? Could it be because you have less intelligence than those Indonesian women? ;) Anyway I'm so sorry for you.

    Yes, I do agree that most of nice Indonesian girls won't go to the night clubs or bars. I would say they won't think of going to such place.

    But whoever saying (look other comment) "they must be Chinese. then, I can deff guarantee 99,9% they wouldn't cheated on you" IS NOT BEING FAIR AT ALL. Remember, women and men cheat in every country.

    So Marc, after 5 years making a life in Indonesia, is this the way you show your appreciation to my country. You have given an bad impression to all worldwide readers. It almost like all Indonesian women are cheaters.

    Here is my recommendation for you MONSIEUR, PACK YOUR BAGS, AND GET THE FU^K OUT OF INDONESIA. DO YOUR FU^KING HOMEWORK. Create a blog of 100 Signs that the women in your country are Cheating On their boy friend.

    Alright, I hope I wasn't being too harsh, or was I?

    Thanks

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  125. I had a girl from jakarta, extremely gorgeous..just insane.
    she has a model career but recently retired. Ok she had a boyfriend but she was sick and tired of him. Sooo that's when I came into her life. I'm indonesian boy, but lives in Holland. Anyway she fell in love with me, but she wants ( and thinks it's extremely normal ) for me to pay all her stuff. Think of drinks, expensive lunch/dinner, shoes, shopping. We went to bed several times heck..I'm not complaining tho. BUT...
    I found out she actually didn't love me anymore after the first 2 days we met. Reason is her ex bf. She constantly texting him on her iPhone wich she kept hidden with a password. They weren't talking about random stuff tho, it was obvious they wanted eachother back. SOOOO...why was she still with me? why she still kept calling me 'baby'
    she just sucked me dry, she took all her chances to get her stuff and needs while I still was in Indonesia. It has been 2 weeks since I'm back home. Never cared for me afterwards , she didn't even asked me how my flight was...
    and YEP she's back with her ex and ain't afraid to show it on facebook

    heartless
    just..
    HEARTLESS!

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  126. I'm a western guy married to a lovely Indonesian girl and have seen first hand the way some western guys treat bar girls,talking down to them . Thing is a lot of these guys can't even see there own feet,fat horrible english men s[peaking to staff and bar girls like shit!!I have actually intervened at times and told these guys that there language was unacceptable,if they spoke to my staff in Scotland like that I would sling them out.

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  127. I'm indonesian woman and I'm having a relationship with American guy ,i'm educated and have a good job and sometimes i went to the clubs with my girlfriends, but i never thought about cheating on him, i went to the clubs just for fun and cool down my brain after work ,my boyfriend is a decent and smart guy, and i never thought about cheating on him or stealing his money etc, we always honest about our financial states and he told me from the beginning that he's not a rich man who can spoil me with expensive stuff ,i genuinely care about him and try my best to make him happy.
    not all indonesian women in jakarta who go to the clubs is a slut, there's a lot of genuine girls also.

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  128. its so natural that girls only love your pocket and sucks you dry, just try to find a girl outside that kind of place like bars, clubs, massage parlour etc. most of them are pros in that kind of place but it most not all of them of course, its just like a phenomenon that a teenage girls in indonesia go to the club,bars etc, to get or being called mature except for 22 years up. or they tired to find other way to have fun in their frustration in life. i dont know that there is some kind of stereotype in indonesian girls mind for having an expat boyfriend is cool and make them more "beautiful" in their social life, haha for me there is no different between expat men and local men, it depends on girl itself and i am indonesian

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  129. im indonesian girl, man... if u look for a relationship AT THE BARS or clubs, thats kinda stupid. im just saying. u need to learn from my american bf. jk jk jk :P

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  130. I have never been to Indonasia as I presumed it will have no night life so have often visited Thailand instead, but after reading your blog I think I must visit it as it seems they are nice things to keep me occupied. Im an Arab and hopefully will try to visit before the end of the year.

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  131. what you see is what you get.

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  132. the case with the Indonesian guy from Holland.

    i can see your point as girls really want t know you quick but also ''forget'' you quick. They pressure you to confirm their relationship being gf/bf if not it's basically blank. I as a Westerner i'm quite use to be friends with women but forget it here. the very woman who proclaims her being so different then Ayam will sleep with you being a Westerner because we have less barriers....yes Asian women can wrap men in like candies and make them feel special.

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  133. I have mixed feelings of pity, frustration and anger as I'm reading the comments. These typical manipulative-expats-obsessed-money-suckers, not only in Indonesia, but in Asia as a whole, give Asian girls and mixed relationships a bad rep...

    And I'm sorry for those who believe that ALL Asian girls are like that.

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  134. I have dated three gorgeous Indonesian girls whom I met in upscale billiards clubs and pubs, not in girly bars. They were early 20's, never married, never pregnant and still living with their parents. They were romantic and affectionate with me and loved to be pampered. Sounds wonderful BUT....I strongly suspect that all three were in a steady relationship with a local Indonesian boyfriend.

    Here are some signs that your Indonesian sweetheart may just be your professional girlfriend who actually has a local Indonesian boyfriend:

    1) She enjoys being with you at her place of work or during the daytime for lunch or shopping, but she declines your offers of dinner dates or movie nights.

    2) She prefers to see you during the week rather than on weekends or on her days off. She always replies to your text messages during her workdays, but rarely on her days off.

    3) She blames her lack of communication on her lack of pulsa for her hand phone or laptop. She asks you to please top up her phone credits so she can communicate with you anytime, anywhere.

    4) She tells you that she is taking a bus home from work, but when you try to walk her to the bus station, she declines your offer. Could it be because her local boyfriend is coming to pick her up after work with his motorbike?

    5) She still accepts calls on her hand phone even when she is out shopping or playing billiards with you. She walks away from you to take the call but her body language tells you that she is not talking with her mother.

    6) She tells how much she misses you when you are back home in the U.S. or Europe, but she rarely texts or says the words "I love you".

    7) She is happy to hold hands and hug you, but less keen about kissing and fondling.

    8) She seems excited when you invite her to go with you to Bali or Singapore over the holidays, but she comes up with all sorts of excuses when you try to pin down the dates or obtain permission from her parents.

    Sound familiar???

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  135. Reading all this makes me very very thankful that I've found my significant other who is British and we are very much committed to each other :-)

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  136. Seriously! These whole comments from Indonesian girls are simply just justifying that they actually do date bules for money and don't mind with sex thing! I am an Indonesian girl myself, but I would never call myself "pretty" "good girl" "full of fun but no sex" fu**ing bu**** girls! No such thing as platonic romance when you date a bule. Deep down, you all must have enjoyed the good treats of expensive dining, gifts, Bali holiday every now and then, bla bla bla. Listen ladies, just stay silent and do NOT attempt to give more comments to defend yourself as it will be pointless! You are who you are. If you like bule, and date him, keep him for yourself and enjoy while you can. If you are not a prostitute, why bother? Hell they all can say whatever, only you and your bule boyfriend who can read between the lines. That's it! I never care for whatever people say, I am what I am, no drama! If you are not ayam, then act and think like normal girl. Don't blame the people, maybe your attitude or the way you dress that triggers the whole nasty sh*t coming towards you! Unless you have the astonishing way of broading your way of thinking, completely out of the box, then by all means, wear anything you want, act like whatever. In the mean time, if you still don't have such a way, you better think twice to be around bule! I am sick of ladies who want to be around bule but can't bear the consequences! Concern nothing!

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  137. blah blah blah.... guys love cheating too. even if it costs money and fight. plus we can't live without porn. we are never innocent.

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  138. I had an INDO girlfriend from university ,she said we "tunangan"(compromise)love mereal,etc..but truth is she seldom look like real.No matter how much money,gifts,attentions, care,etc..she proved later everything was basically abuse and lack of faithfulness.They are just rubish,dont mean all most of them,large majority.

    She try again and again to keep me,and i kept making mistake to trust her (and more and more personal gifts)in the mean time she was fucking around thousands of bules,indonesian (most of them for money I believe)Egois,superficial,cheaters,no moral,no ethics,..rubish to use and trowth!.MURAH PELACURS...

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  139. This article was posted nearly three years ago, and people are still giving their comments (including me). Ummm.. I am Indonesian girl, Jakarta native, 28 y/o, work in a multinational oil and gas company, I smoke, I let my hair down every now and then for one drink or two after long working hours, I speak&write good English, and I am unfortunately still single. I can say that I am a normal good Jakarta girl. Not good as in angelic types, but I can assure you all that I make more than enough (nearly US2k/month) so I am not after the man's money, thats number one. Number two is, I have no problem with a non-platonic relationship as long as on the first stages of the relationship are fully intact&committed, filled with two ways of communication, and after some reasonable time getting to know each other - sex is not an issue. Number three, I only stick to one man but yes I have lots of male friends and I don't have such a friends with benefit kind of friendship - I am very loyal judging by only having 3 ex bfs (two indos and one bule). Number four, I am independent as I can do things without disturbing my bf's precious time. Number five, I am a full-of-affection kind of girl and hopelessly romantic. With all those things, I am still no luck finding the guy for me? I always always fall to the wrong ones as they were so deceiving on the first few meetings and they went along with my rules that no sex before everything's clear. So they made everything "seemed" clear to me so they can take me to their bed, and left me heartbroken as they dumped me for some cheesy bar girls and/or random gold digger in a club who are willing to have sex right away on the night they met. Is there anyone can tell me what my problem is? Seriously, I am kind of desperate now to be able to get married before I touch 30 :( Not necessarily bule though..

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    Replies
    1. meet me, we can talk honestly. It saddens me that your heart has been repeatedly broken.... mine too. we do not have to become partners but we can be friends. :)

      Delete
  140. To Anonymous posting 13th Feb. If you are so good why have you broken up with other boyfriends. maybe you are not so perfect yourself. i have known several indo girls and they are gold diggers.......Maybe the guys see something in you that they don't like. Maybe you sound like a school teacher.......chill out.

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  141. To Annoy-nymous posting on Feb 14th, this is Annoyed-nymous posting on Feb 13th. Exactly my question, wasn't it? Only you didn't bother to specify what they don't like from me. I have 3 ex bfs, the first ex is my senior back in campus and he is now a lecturer. That didn't work out as I fell pregnant and I didn't want to ruin my future for keeping the baby. He was furious and we broke up. The second ex was a stock broker and we broke up because he proposed but I thought I was still too young to be married that time, mind you I was just 23 and just started my career. He moved to Bali and happily married with French woman. And my last ex is a Suisse, a Consultant in a top Financial Firm in Jakarta and we broke up because his contract was done and he wanted to take me to Zurich, but my parents (especially my mum) only approve if we got married first and he refused to convert to Muslim. Now what else would you want to conclude about me? Do I sound like a school teacher? You know what?! You wouldn't be here if not because of your education. And where did you get the education? School? University, campus? Who taught you then?

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  142. To Anonymous posting Feb 18...What i deduce is that its not the Guys fault. Its you. You have an excuse for each occassion. you had opportunities offered to you and you declined them.

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  143. Well then anonymous posting on 19 Feb, like it was all an easy declination. Well, cut it short. I won't bother to deal with you preaching about whatever you thought you knew, you have no idea at all.. You made a bad comment about me - someone you never know, and now you make me feel full of regret to have commented on this article.. Please admin, delete my comments on Feb 13, 18, and this one too.. Thank you..

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  144. iv got an indo wife i give her 2million a month $180 i think ?? we got a rented home 900usd a year until i get visa fixed we been married almost 2years shes not into clubs and used to have a mid level good job that she hated shes left this and has been paind off 10 mil every 2month until its gets up to 60mil this it will stop but as im her hubby she wants me to send 2mil a month even when my job in europe has gone south lol and calls me stingy omg b4 she had to lend money from friend due to me not sending on time she did not get payoff from her company at that time but now she got her own pay coming in she been given money to a guy she only met at class few times only about 50usd but i think its not good as via his fb page he has alot of diplomas and a business of his own so wat good will 50 do is this her guy on the side ? and now she locks her phone afther we argue about this guy before never like this and keeps buying me stuff i dont realy need big waist of cash im dizzy from this all?? i do love but i think im driveing her away asking menny things about this subject

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  145. the moral of the story is dont get involved with slut prostitutes is as simple as that

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  146. anon from feb 22 10.34 am looks like shes was helping a mate and he is paying her back too she just had got payout from her old job is all looks im the guy with the trust issues my bad my gagal

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  147. as for the opened is seconds no drama

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  148. To the anonymous poster on Feb 14. Holy shit, dude! Who pissed in your Cheerio's? The lady was stating her case, that she feels comfortable in her situation, educated, and only three ex-boyfriends. You seem to conclude that based on her status as an Indo, she's automatically a slut.

    Her commentary on her requirements seem to have no problems with me. Sex is a big no-no until the rules are clearly understood. Monogamous? Sure. Open relationship? No problem, as long as it is spelled out clearly before the 'fun' begins.

    Sounds great to me. You, however, need to gargle with a used douche.

    --David

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  149. By the way, I'm living in Jakarta, and find all sorts of women here. Sure, there are hookers. But what do you expect from visiting a pijat ++ bar??

    --David

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  150. I want to add some notes,
    what you wrote is really beautiful, and useful and will help guys especially those under 25 to understand girls better. but what I want to say is that what you said apply on girls anywhere my friend, not only "Indonesian" girl. especially Asian girls and African girls .. sure because they are poor and want the western rich to take them to another better country or spend on them. don't even Imagine that Chinese, Hongkong girls, Taiwanese, Malaysians, Thai (all these yellow race) .. can love you for you, just pretend poor guy and see how she will throw you in the garbage in one night. and don't be so confident and say to yourself "Mine is different" .. just pretend poor and ask her help and see.

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  151. Descent Indonesian girls don't have sex outside the wed-lock. If you find one who's willing to have sex with you, she must be a prostitute.

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  152. I 100% agree with above statement. 90% of Indonesian gurl is cheating, especially to expat. Guys if you want to find a good Indonesian girl, u can try on Cathedral Church or Istiqlal Mosque. Or maybe on Buddhist - Hindus temple. Outside there, 99% they are not recommended! Unless if u can find a virgin one outside there, then you can get a good chance.

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  153. i am not Indonesian (im from the Middle east- Saudi Arabian) but what i hear Indonesian girls are lovely, cute and hot too. This does not mean there are no bad ones though. The point i am trying to make is that "you get what you pay for". even though many Muslims go to bars and night clubs, it is always thought that those are not the best ones in a Muslim society. In the west there is nothing wrong with going to a bar or a club to meet people. But every culture has it own little details. This has nothing to do with being right or wrong - but we should not judge the west baased on Islamic valuse, nor should they judge us based on thier values too: We are different and should learn what is acceptable in a certain culture what is not before we dove in it. if i ever think of getting married again (i dont like pilogoy) i'd get married from a Idonesian (JAVA) Girl- maaaaan they are sooo damn good

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  154. hahhaa hilarious article :D , hi bule there are exactly the 10 signs of unhealthy relationship. It does not related to nationality or what. And the basic principle, the ratio of finding good women...lesser if you do it at 'certain' places. But again, depend on. Don't be so naive, everybody knows this basic lesson. The most important, I am Indonesian girl and all my beautiful friend, doesn't act like ur story. Understand our culture first, so you will find it easy to get nice good women.

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  155. I think bule don't have sex before marriage with his Indonesian girlfriend it's really ruined my perception... Specially to know the fact that their Indonesian girlfriend are so ugly hehe.

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  156. Some bad signs to be aware of, even then you are not sure. But same counts the other way.

    I would like to see an article about good signs, like in my opinion:
    1) she invites you to her family or puts you in contact with her family on facebook (i agree, this takes time usually)
    2) she shows you where she lives
    3) she does not go alone back home at night
    4) she only likes bluebird when it is dark
    5) she has a day job
    6) she does not ask for money or gifts
    7) she does not like or just does not go to clubs usually (it does not mean she is boring)
    8) she wants you to escort her to the lobby when going home and puts on a suitable jacket
    9) you meet her at her job, in a shopping mall where you make contact first (Clubs are a NoGo for meeting unless you extreme lucky in a fancy club that you meet that accidental "good one")



    etc..

    I am sure some pro's live by those rules (except the family stuff) but they usually do not have the patience/habit to do all this.

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  157. for me indonesian girl just simple as that...u fuck u pay...no feeling..thats all to wrap up its..

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  158. ( diah_nuraini_budianti ) ----Hmm no idea, cheating indonesian women..how about western men who cheating??

    no pay no game....LIFE!!!!NOT all indonesia women are cheating and i believe NOT all western men cheating also....Good women for Good men....

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  159. If you are an honest man then you will find the right girl
    so if you have a bad experience ask yourself!
    you've done it right?
    I have ex-bf from uk but he couldn't respect and spoke rudely every time it was horrible
    it the reason why I hate to have a relationship with the Western again
    they can't respect Indonesian culture.because not all Indonesian girl is a person who
    you think
    cheating???i think you just cover your reality
    go ahead

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  160. i have another girl in a around, from jakarta. I think we should be engaged even now,.. But she like to dance almost everynight in many bule places. Her job give her a change too, to meet up other bule's. Im confused, why this girl like to hang out in bars and clubs everyday, if she not like to flirting and get attention from westerners..?!?!?
    Im enough old and have daughter, thats why i would not like to play around anymore.. Pity my daughter love her very much aduh..
    I like to trust and all, but there is a limit i guess. need to look 1-2 weeks more, and how this continue i think...im very close to quit this madness now..

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  161. the man made this article so "STUPIDLY"
    you never found good girl from indonesia in bar or pub..

    indonesian good girl NEVER go in bar or pub because its forbidden ..

    and i think you dont really wanna get indonesia good girl...because indonesian good girl cant you buy with money..

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  162. oh please,im an indonesian guy,and here's a little help for expats,do not,i said do not! try to find a decent girl in a dodgy club,or massage parlour,and do not try to find a girl outside of south jakarta,cause most of them only wanted a better looking child,they dont care if youre waaay older,always look at their social background,its really important here in indonesia to know any social background as necessary,if any of you stumbled upon indonesian girl that doesnt have a pretty good social background the only thing you should expect is : you will have to support all the fundings not just for her,but their whole big family in her real village,(many indonesian girl actually comes from a really horrible village thats why most of them really wanted to marry expats and change their life) ,or just like what the thread starter said,youll get cheated on,trust me,if she cant even speak english with a good pronounsation,or cant even talk in english properly,then dont even bother...

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  163. just one word for the anonymous account above me who's confused about your GF who worked in a so called "bule bar" no offense im just trying to help all the expats here,cause i lived in australia many years ago even tho im actually from indo,well heres the thing' in indonesia,a girl who comes from a good family would never allow their daughter to work as a bargirl,except that the girl work as a public relations or anything that can be catagorized as a staff or office worker,and another thing is,people who work as a waitress or bartender in a club,massage parlour,karaoke places or anything like that would be considered as a "bad girl" a normal "good girl" dont and wouldnt do such jobs,because images are the main thing that the indonesian is all about,just think,why would indonesian people would spend that much money on cars,they would spend like 1billion rupiah just for a japanese car,and most of the indonesian always spend their money drinking and even pay for a table that would cost 8million rupiah,and most of them are teenagers,because images is the main thing,indonesian people wants to look prestigeous,they want the attention,so working as a bargirl,bar host or something like that is considered as a low level job,and even society would considered too be in the same frame as hookers,but again,its only advice guys

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  164. Name of Dewi from Bats... Beware... for those men from Singapore Derrick and Edwin... If you are reading this, leave her. Don't ask. If you want to have fun, go ahead.

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  165. Contributing to the list. Thise girls or ayams united nation which use the same trick.

    1. She gets angry for no apparent reason on your character, expression, jealousy and others. Could be she has other boyfriends where she cannot meet while you are occupying most of her time.
    2. She puts sentiment and loving messages on social chat like whatapps status to gain your trust but somehow, non of the other boyfriends on whatsapp which bbm, wechat or line.
    3. She tells you everything about her past on ex-boyfriends but cannot remember the date, duration,, race or even nationality when you ask or confirming answers again on later occasion where you get wrong answers. She shits you with #1
    4. She tells you you are the only boyfriend she has and she promised you not to work or still working where she remains uncontactable at odd hours. 11pm-4am or noon on any days.
    5. She gets frightened of being pregnant with you and requested for screening but yet, wanting to get married, pregnant and stay with you. When you acting seriously to propose, tons of reason like university graduation, background of your family, need apartment etc.
    6. She gets non-stop bbm, wechat and whatsapp. Reason she has lot of friends which should be boyfriends or fishing in-progress.
    7. She never remember anything or forget your birthday, day of met, favor drinks, place, hobbies and give wrong answers. She has too much to remember. You get what i mean?
    8. The security guard of a particular hotel, mall or restraurants call you another guy name. She gets #1.
    9. She is always tired even when you are there. She claims she didn't work or go out last night.
    10. She says she wants plastic sugery for you. Well, just to hookup new or current guys.
    11. She promises tons of things to do with you but not one she could recall or do willingly. Simply uninterested.
    12. She tells you she has a customer she does not like but yet, still chatting. Unfortunately, answer given I do not like him or never contact. Do you believe?
    13, she wakes up odd hour to reply a message where she tells you: just checking, insomnia or cannot fall asleep which non your message replied.
    14. You sent 4 questions and answers 3. Sometimes, 1. She does not give a shit.
    15. She cannot stay even 1 day with you in-room.
    16. She sleeps while you watching tv and you sleep, she pretends watching tv while messing with phone.
    17. She keeps her phone in a very inaccessible place while sleeping.
    18. She sends you picture of her current location to gain your trust. Could be sending not just you receiving the picture.
    19. She overlooks your message and claims talking with friends, family and even fainted/sick. Well, she always messes with phone with you even with friends, family or sick.


    I would highly recommend if you think something is really wrong and you want to get bottom. Check bbm, photo, whatsapp, line, sms, recent calls etc.

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  166. that's the consequence dating a hooker :D you got the plasure, she got your money. nightclub = sex = alcohol = hookers.

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  167. As said before, for a serious relationship you don't go to these bars. The 'nice' girls don't go there. Period. And if you fall in love with one of these butterflies, you're stupid. But hey: in Europe or the US you would never have such a hottie as GF.

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  168. Lol. i know this blog from my bf. now i know what makes him worried all the time just because i'm indonesian. i just could say you have to be smart if you want to find a nice girl. and dont ever think all indonesian girls are same.

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  169. I met indo girl in IndonesiaCUPID.com and she's having relation ship now. She gave a skype name i added and talking skype face to face. after one month i sent her presents and apple ipod.(not expensive one). she got a present and after 2 day when we taking and chating in skype she ask me to give a us$200 coz for buying ring for her mum. 2 year's before she sold the ring for her sons education. we have good relation ship past day, send me lot of message by her phone if i will not online also. sorry my english is not good..

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  170. Well, if you met Indonesian woman make sure she is not a hookers. Ask her job, her education.
    Many Indonesian have good education, have their own money ( going to club only for fun ) but got hurt by BULE who feel like a KING here because many woman adore him.

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  171. I am an Indonesian woman, I am married to "Bule" happily and still is going strong. I have never cheated on him and I do love him so much. I am very well educated and I don't do clubbing nor drinking. I live in the USA for more than 7 years and have an excellet position at the company I work for as one of the engineers. So, I suggest to the writer of this article to remove the "Indonesian" label. It was your fault to look for a girlfriend in a bar.

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  172. This thread somehow puts me in mind of buying a 2nd hand vehicle.
    You get what u pay for ( if your lucky). Can you blame a girl for advertising she’s the latest model Harley, when all you’ll get is a beat up push bike.
    & Conversely she can see you aren’t the Harley you like to think-we all have flaws.
    Are you that squeaky clean, clean living church boy? Why expect her to be what you’re not.
    Enjoy it & take it on the chin, if you been had, it’s up to you how long you’re willing to ride around on that squeaky, buckled wheel push bike.
    One piece of advice I read on a Thai site, fom a thai lawyer-“ spend 2 yrs learning the culture & people before committing to anything serious- get out if pushed into serious before then.
    Buyer beware!! Same all over the world ( dodgy used car sales people are always sucking in suckers.
    BTW I’ve still got a squeaky buckled wheel pushy, but still enjoy riding it. LOL!
    Fu*k stereotypes we are all individual, do it how you like, just don’t bitch about it forever.
    As in buying 2nd hand vehicle or getting a new partner, time will tell & its buyer beware!`
    We all make mistakes, how large is the divorce rate in western countries? Don’t be too hard on yourself, or others- take it easy & enjoy your time with your beau everyday

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  173. I lived in that city for over a year and the place is a complete and utter stinking shitholeim glad i got out when i did fucking foul dump, it was probably cleaner and less corrupt when the Dutch were running it.

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  174. Thank God, i have my German husband. I like him not because he is a presdir in a German company in Germany. I dont even know about it and i never ask him about his salary. Our friendship is based on trust and sincerity. I am from a big city in Java.

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  175. Hi marc what is the name of the lady in the first picture with all the money ?

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  176. my opinion "it's because you have to be smart to choose girls or woman in Indonesia or any woman in the world, not all Indonesian girls figure looks like in those photos, i think it's Not cool at all, if you looking for the serious one or healthy relationship or even friends with benefit, u need to Find girl not only on the club and bar who full of girls which is actually a place of prostitution or a girls concubine expatriate, I think you can analyze, anywhere you have the first crush with bot the Indonesian girl in the bar / club or somewhere else or hang out places , look at the way how they dress and their clothes, the way they talk and their insights, look her association, find the smart one, not only who give a stupid joke lies and ask for your money and give a sex service when u get mad, find who give u attention and their mindset open minded usually those who like the west culture relation, find acquainted with the women workers and have a career in any field, smart women will choose who's Worth for them, look how they wear the clothes, don't take "sexy" term for all, there's some kind of sexy, looking for a sexy fine and cool one, not sexy looks like a prostitute. see how they talk, attitude, Passion, their Taste, their aim, their futures, choose women who use their brains, not just the material sought, find out for women based on educated, you can analyze and know them so well from your dating experience with Indonesian girl Read Them First and you judge those books . just like the mirror ' if u are cheater u must be ready to cheated

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  177. I would like to say something

    I have an indo women living with me and I've got to say she's married and speaks to 7 different guys

    She's sent pictures of herself nude she's always lying always sneaking out the house she has three kids one who is not the current husbands child

    Yet he takes care of this child, I find her so disgusting.

    It's true once a cheater always a cheater I mean atm there's 4 different men not counting her husband

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  178. Yes, i'm fine. booking berapa?

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  179. Not all indonesian girl are cheater... i am indonesian girl... i dont really like to go clubbing, i dont really like to drink beer and another alcoholic beverages, i had a bf and he is from dresden, germany and i loved him so much. I never cheat him. I had my principle, when i am in love with him, i dont want to have sex with another men, even i dont know probably he did sex in another country, because i understand every man need sex alot, but i keep my sacred love only to my german boyfriend... i trully loved him with sincerity... he wished that we can be together forever. Amin. Eventhough i knew he was an atheist and i am muslim... i loved him. #sylsyl

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  180. Hoho...im indonesian girl but..ya this is right haha..for indonesian bad girl type..
    U will never met a good girl in a club in indonesian...

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  181. Rule # 1...Do not have high expectation for a good relationship from a woman that one meets in a night club or bar and that is all over the world not exclusive to Indonesia.
    Rule # 2... Not all the woman are the same

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  182. Javanese gals are some of the most beautiful and lovely women in the world, a guy should be very happy to spend time with some of these beauties.

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  183. I was married to one for 2 years conniving thieving unstable deceitful piece of third world shite money obsessed lying fucked up witch, that was my unfortunate experience of indonesian women filipino women are miles better dont bother with these dirty filth tramps

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  184. My story goes down a different track but the same end result. I'm a bule man, wife Indo. Together 10 years, married for 7. She already had 3 kids and we adopted 2 more. Our love for each other was profound. I thought we were a real and beautiful family UNTIL...she said one night we are divorced. She had insisted I become a true Muslim from my heart or else. Her love of Allah was greater than her love for me. I spent ages researching and finding out about Islam and finally I decided I cannot truly accept Islam as my faith.
    I feel like the empty shell of a juiced orange.
    So boys, there is another aspect to marrying an Indo girl for you to think about.
    But you know what? I'm staying in Indo anyway because I like it.

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  185. Can't agree more on the abovementioned 10 points

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  186. Well i am 23 years old, well educated, i have my own job snf yet i like to go to bars or clubs because i enjoy the music, never cheat on my relationship, never interested with other people wallets, never have one night stand and i clearly don't do hook-up whatsoever. So stop judging girls who go to bars or clubs, small minded people. Thanks

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  187. Be serious guys! All the blue men i saw with Indonesian girls are ugly, fat and too old!

    Supermarket or club, educated or non educated all indo girls are gold diggers! It seems it's a cultural thing. You want decent girl get her from your culture from your country.

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  188. It’s 100% accurate. I am an Expat Psycologist working in Indonesia for last 3 years and have seen so many guys just go mental about this. Some of the further and latest tell tale signs are as below. I have to maintain anonymity for the sake of my clients; but do understand the below well

    1. She Wants to create sympathy sometimes by saying is a single mother and has to take care of young kid and needs money. This is most common alongside saying got married early and husband passed away
    2. Has an older husband (maybe 50+) who is already married but has done “nikah sirih” or Moslem marriage and does not stay with her permanently
    3. Will easily fake an orgasm and sometime allow intimacy by avoiding condom use and allowing to ejaculate inside and call it out as “do you feel me” (sorry a bit graphic)
    4. Most importantly will keep fighting on small things and make the guy say sorry and eventually pay like 10 Mn IDR every time
    5. Will be very soft and docile and say she follows you
    6. Will constantly sex chat on WA saying you have a Big C*CK every time.
    7. Buy expensive gifts like Chanel perfumes etc when you are traveling.
    8. Will threaten to block you on WhatsApp so that you can become an emotional fool
    If you really want to understand her seriousness , just don’t pay money when asked for ! Two times and third time you won’t hear from her !!
    9. Will ask Non Muslims to convert to Islam and promise to marry - ends up in contract marriages and poor Expat having to shell out almost 200K ~ 500 K USD for apartment car etc
    10. Never ever mention about your bank balance or how much money you have as they will start calculating
    11. If you have met them at a bar like BATS or CJs, 100 % they are hookers ; the bar or hotel manager would be colluding with them as they get a cut
    12. Will behave very nice polite and try to show sympathy to working class making you believe she has a very nice heart
    13. Will do sex chat and once the relationship matures threaten to Blackmail with the same in social media unless you pay her 100 Mn IDR at least
    14. Clearly and finally has a very sexy body make up and all - cosmetics industry and others booming are a proof of it - watch out for scars below the breasts or on the stomach for enlargement or vagina tightening treatment

    Guys - if you fall into this , my business grows but I’m writing this comment for you to be careful as the emotional burden can be difficult to handle and sometimes my job also is very difficult because of that

    Good luck to finding real love - hope it makes a difference

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    Replies
    1. so true man !! I suffered exactly like you mentioned. How do I overcome - I feel madly in love and miserable
      Can I have your number to connect with you please ??

      Delete
  189. I can vouch for the truth of this list. I had the great misfortune to once be married to an Indonesian woman who showed every single warning sign on this list. And no I did NOT meet her in a bar. I didn't even meet her in Indonesia.

    I would also add another thing to watch out for to the list - "unexplained or poorly expained disappearances."

    My Indonesian wife made me change religions so I could marry her and be acceptable to her family, although we married in my country not Indonesia. As soon as we married she did a 180 degree turn, suddenly became cold and distant and left me.

    Turned out she'd had a so-called "fiance" all along, some Filipino guy who was an illegal immigrant in my country and that she apparently lied to me aboit her feelings for me, faked the entire relarionship with me and only married me to try to get residency so she could eventually divorce me and help him.

    We divorced and I recenty discovered 10 years later that despite me withdrawing my support for her spouse visa she still somehow managed to get residency in my country and is now married to the Filipino guy and has now popped out 2 kids to him ib quick succession.

    And get this - he is still a Catholic. He didn't have to change his religion to marry her but I had to suffer the humiliation of enduring a ceremony to change mine - the funny hat, muttering gibberish in front of the old guy with the beard doen at the mosque, the lot!

    Gotta laugh I suppose. I'll bet she did.

    How does that even work anyway, her still being a Muslim and he a Catholic?

    Now I am sure there must be a lot of good Muslim Indonesian women out there but this article is about a certain type and in relation to that certain type it is spot on.

    In relation to my ex so-called Indonesian "wife" I really don't know how she can live with herself. I have suspect she must have worked in the sex industry at some stage prior to meeting me to think what she did was ok. Sirely no decent Muslim Indonesian woman woukd behave that way. They say you can't turn a whore into a housewife. Yet the Filipino guy seems to have managed it.

    Perhaps he is more on her level and that's why she stays with him. He probably doesn't even care if she's cheating on him, perhaps she is also paying the bills and supporting him with whatever money she can scam from other ueless idiots like I was 'til I wised up. Who knows - but their Facebook pages are full of flash cars and motorcycles, their cute kids and pics of them together before, during and after my marriage to her. Worst of all for me are the comments of their Facebook friends saying what a "sweet couple" they are. Give me a break!

    I ended up depressed, divorced, almost bankrupted and suicidal at one point. Those two swan off into the sunset together as if nothing had happened. "Seeet couple?" I hardly think so!

    All I can say from my experience is beware of Indonesian women. I'm sure they are not all bad but judging from this list and my own experiences there are definitely more than a few bad apples amongst them!

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  190. Wooow wooow
    I hope my bf didn't find this stupid opinions here
    I'm Indonesian woman
    Making my own good living here
    Running my own business
    I love my bf just the way he is

    These all such a generated and underestimate many woman here

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